How to Stop Being a People Pleaser & Become a Soul Pleaser

[00:00:00] I continue to try and control things to feel safe and to feel worthy. And so surrendering sounds like the hardest thing in the world to do. And when you do and when you go, ok, I give up. I actually give up, and that’s the place that I, you know what? I don’t care if I’m successful anymore. I don’t care if I reach my goals anymore.

I just want the monkey chatter in my head to stop. That’s all I want. I don’t want that mean girl in my head being hard on me anymore. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted, and that’s why to

This is Emily Harmon, host of the Onward Podcast. I’m so excited you’re listening today, the stories we share on the Onward podcast. Connect us to our own humanity and make us realize, [00:01:00] help us realize we are not alone. My guest today, Tracy Sicom, spent the first 47 years of her life trying to prove that she was good enough when her mom passed away in 2016, Tracy woke up to how working all the time for recognition was sacrificing her health and her relationships.

Tracy has a mission to help women know that they are enough without approval or recognition from others so that they can be who they are here to be and make the difference in the world that they are here to make. I really enjoyed this conversation with Tracy because we coach in very similar areas, so if you’re a people pleaser or if you’re addicted to doing, if you’re addicted to your work, You’re not alone.

I’ve been there and I still find myself going back to that place. And we are all a continuous work in [00:02:00] process. I know listening to this episode will help you. And if you know somebody who will benefit from listening to this episode, please share it with them. Tracy, welcome to the Onward Podcast. Thank you, Emily.

Great to be here. We met because we’re in the same group coaching program with Mark Bon, so Yeah, I know. It’s great to meet people like you. Yeah, I know. And it’s so cool that with the technology, I mean, you’re in Australia? I’m in the us and what time is it there for you? It’s nearly 10:00 AM, nine 30, 10:00 AM and it’s like six o’clock my time.

So. That works out pretty well. But, um, so we see each other, you know, about once a week sometimes on different coaching calls, and I think, uh, I’ve learned a lot from observing what you’ve done with your coaching and with your setting up your program. So, and I’m just so pleased to be interviewing you on the Onward Podcast.

Oh, thank you. Well, yeah, as soon as I saw you in the group, I realized that we’re doing some really similar [00:03:00] work. You know, I think reaching out to women in transition in particular and helping them to make that shift, so it’s exciting to align with people that are doing similar things. Right. And that’s something that we like coaching on because we’ve done it ourselves.

Yeah, exactly. I think it’s the personal experience that allows you to help others. So tell us your story, what got you to want to change your life, and then to go and coach people in what you do? Yeah. Thank you. It’s funny when, when question, realize, when you reflect that the story starts much earlier than when you.

So the major adversity is where you make the change. But I think that there is trails along the way when you look back and you’re able to reflect. And so I started way back when I was in year in high school. So the year of high school. [00:04:00] And I lived in a country town and I was sitting on the ground. We used to sit on the ground and we used to pull our uniforms up and tan on our, during our, I was sitting with my friend.

Friend said to me, your ankles are getting fat. And in that moment I looked at them and thought, yes, they’re, and it was like I lost my innocence in that moment. I didn’t see that then. But I look back and I think, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me until then. And if I was a different personality, I could have just laughed that off and said, no, they’re not.

Yeah. But I had inherited from my mom because years later I found out that my mom had an eating disorder, but they didn’t really label it in my mom’s era. And um, yeah, for me that was start of an eating disorder. And it’s not her fault, it was just the beginning of my journey. And I think that we all have our hero’s journey where life is okay, or maybe it’s not, maybe it starts [00:05:00] off challenging and then eventually we remember who we really are.

But that was the beginning of me starting to really not feel worthy. Cause I thought I was fat and I never was. Never. And I was never fat, but I thought I was. And then that was coupled with really growing up as a clever girl, pretty girl, and a good girl, and being really rewarded for that. Which again, there’s nothing wrong with that, that’s just having a loving family.

But I, it created in me an addiction to that. And so I never felt good enough unless I was meeting those standards. It had to be as, it had to be top marks. It had to be being good at everything. So that’s just a recipe for an eating disorder, really that perfectionism. And so when it really came to fruition, I guess in terms of ending up underweight, is I won a scholarship to be an AFS student, and I went to America, in fact, and I lived in [00:06:00] Texas.

12 months with a beautiful family and I heard that AFS stood for as a another student. Oh my gosh, that AFS 12 months. The food was different, and so a lot of them came back with an extra 10 kilo,

especially Texas. Everything’s bigger in Texas. That’s.

I was very afraid of that. And so I went the other way and really restricted my food. Um, while I was away and on reflection again, I realized that I was very homesick and that was the one thing I could control, is I could control how much I exercised and how much I ate or didn’t eat. Plus the high school that I was in, which I think.

Kind to me looked like what the American movies showed at high school was. There was the band, there were the cheerleaders, and I got in the [00:07:00] drill team. And so I used to end up going social events with the girls on the drill team and none of them very much. It was very normal for us to sit with the footballers who had a playful of food and we sat there sipping water.

So it was kinda fitting in that whole fitting in. And going along with the crowd and being homesick and yeah, so I ended up tiny and I remember when I got back to Australia and I got off the plane and my whole family was shocked to see me cause I was so thin and I ended up giving the skirt that I was wearing on that day.

So I was 18 at the time to my little sister who was five. Whoa. Yeah. So did your mom ever let you know that she had had an eating disorder? Was she concerned about that with you? No. So she was devastated when I got back and they got help for me, like I went to a counselor about it. But she still never spoke up.

She, it was like she was in denial that she had had an eating [00:08:00] disorder. And years later I actually found a card from a friend of my mom’s who she had done nursing with. So she’d known her for years and the card said, happy Birthday fatty. And I was, why did she, why did she call you fatty? And she said, oh, it was just a joke.

Cause you know, I was always, you know, around 45 kilos when I was studying, which is really light. For her. And I was like, why didn’t you tell me? Yeah. And it all started to fall into place because when I looked back, I thought Mom used to serve us all dinner, but then she didn’t serve herself a plate Uhhuh.

Cause it was so normal for me growing up, I had never noticed. So until it became a problem for me, I had never really realized that I had actually grown up with somebody with a needing disorder. And so, yeah, it made sense that I was gonna end up there. So, So that was I guess the beginning of it. And that’s what really sent me searching for answers.

So I read Louise, you can Heal [00:09:00] Your Life at 18, which I’m really grateful for because that is a really young, to reach out to those sort

with something that is challenging. And then later in life I fell in love and got married and had kids and. My life just became about that alongside of running my businesses and things like that. But the point to actually cause me to now teach what I teach was the, I was business. So the perfectionism in me, the high achiever in me, the people pleasing, chasing, am I good enough yet?

Am I good enough yet Really played out in me really wanting to be very, very successful. Are you eating well then, or, I probably wasn’t as focused on food at that point, but if I reflect back, I’ve always made sure that I’ve, that I’ve eaten well. To maintain my weight so that up until up until [00:10:00] this turning point, the focus was still being slim.

Now in, in my soul estate rather than people food, I is about my alignment. Because when we eat Whole Foods, we just, it’s easier for us to be aligned. So I have a completely different why. So, although I ate, well then it was a different reason. And in 16 I had three businesses, three children, husband, who was the CEO of multinational company.

So he was really busy as well, managing our. Investment properties. Like when I look back at like, how was I even still alive? You know what I was actually doing and I was know.

You worried about me. You don’t need to worry about me. I was just so in denial of the state that I was in and on reflection. It was my drug. It was my drug. I was addicted to working. I was addicted to [00:11:00] doing, and I wasn’t present for any of it, so I wasn’t actually. I understand. Yeah, you’re just too busy and you’re just doing and you’re accomplishing and.

Yeah. Yeah. So happened in 2016 that, yeah, and had been happening for a long time, but happened to Wake died, diagnosed with breast.

10 years before that, I just rallied. I was all on the manifestation plan. Like that was what everything was about for me then was we can use positive thinking, like we’ve got this, like let’s do this. And Mom was really on board and she was still working as a nurse at the time. And so we found a Chinese doctor and she was juicing and.

And she was in good health for another 10 years after that first mastectomy and, and some radiotherapy, she chose not to have chemotherapy and then when I [00:12:00] year before she died from her breast to promised myself, take. And I was on holidays at the time. We were away in Europe with my, um, husband’s family.

And when I got back to Australia and I, even though I ran three businesses, I still, even though I didn’t think I was. Was in control of my time. Like I didn’t have a boss, I was the boss. But cause I was such a people pleaser, I felt like I had no control over my time. Cause I was available to everybody all of the time.

So I did see my mom often, but I didn’t block out Fridays for lunch, which I, which I could have done and I didn’t. And. When she died, it was like my big wake up call. I was like, whatcha are you doing in your life? What is so important? Like, why are you so hell bent? Keeping everyone happy, which is an impossible task.

Getting higher and higher levels of success. For what? Like, I didn’t even have time to spend the money or, [00:13:00] you know, I, I couldn’t even go shopping for clothes because I was. Always working. And yeah, I just woke up to it. All of a sudden I could see my life the way it was rather than just being so in the middle of it that I couldn’t see it, and that that was my turning point.

That was my rock bottom, which was the best thing that’s ever happened. So what did you do? So I sat in the sun and felt the sun on my face. And cried and allowed myself to fit, to feel emotion, and I got outta my head and into my heart and like my kids would find me on the laundry floor curled up in a ball crying, and I would just share it with them.

I just like, I miss my mom so much, and I, it just, it needed to be the thing that hurt the most, that would allow me to feel emotions again, rather than just living in my head. And just cracked my heart open. And then I was drawn, you know when books just jump off a shelf in a bookshop to you? In the [00:14:00] past it had all been about this motivational stuff, and there’s nothing that’s.

Yeah. Productivity. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, and there’s a place for that. Like absolutely in your twenties and thirties, there’s an absolute place for that to achieve and set goals and all of that. And, and none of it is wrong, but I definitely had outgrown it and I was ready for something else. And so I was in a, and I was in a bookshop for someone else.

I was there to buy somebody a 50th birthday present. And this book, and this girl is a fashion designer. And so this book was called Light is the New Black, and it just jumped out at me and before I knew it I was buying one for her and I was buying one for me. And I took intuitively straight to a coffee shop and sat outside in the sun and opened it up and it said, the Lama said that the Western woman will save the, and I burst into [00:15:00] tears and I knew it.

And I knew I was one of them. Wow. And I didn’t know anything else except that. Wow. And then down the track, I walked away from one of those three businesses, the thing that I was so afraid to do. So mum died in January. I walked away from that business in October and for six months I said to my husband, I don’t wanna do it anymore.

He’s like, just stop. I’m like, yeah, but money. Why not? Cause I’ll let everybody down. I had a team of thousand people around the world and 10 people. Wow. And I didn’t wanna let anyone down and I.

Teaching some great stuff through that company and, but I knew that I didn’t wanna do it anymore and I just had to follow my heart to wanted, rather than what thought should or thought best [00:16:00] was the. Stopping people pleasing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And when I left one of the girls in my team who did feel let down, who rang me up to say, you’ve broken my heart.

I don’t think I’ve ever had my heart broken before, but you have broken my heart. Like, you’re the reason I’m in this. Why are you leaving? And I said to her, and I had never actually articulated this thought in my mind into this moment. I said, cause I’ve just realized that I was a people pleaser. And now I’m ready to be in soul.

And in that moment I realize that’s it. That’s what I’m here to do. I’m, I’m here to help people go from being a people pleaser to a soul pleaser. That’s awesome. Because I was gonna ask, how’d you come up with a Soul pleaser? That’s the name of your Facebook group and your Yeah. Your company, what you do.

Yeah, so The Salt is, the name just came from that thought. That I believe God, the universe just pnk into my mind right then. I’d never thought it until I said out she [00:17:00] laughed. That was another opportunity for go. Maybe that’s.

And the other thing at the time is I had a business coach who was helping me with one of my other businesses at the time, which was a physiotherapy business called Safe Work Practice that my business partner and I had had for, we had in the end until we sold it 22 years. And we were really preparing it for sale.

We were ready, we were close to getting to that point. And I said to him, because he said he would continue to coach me beyond that business with the other business. One of the, the third one which was thinking into results facilitators, so thinking into Results is a program by the Proctor Gallagher Institute was teaching people how to use their mind.

So he was coaching me with how to market that and I said to him, I don’t wanna do that anymore. And our next coaching call. And he said, what you wanna do now? And I said, I wanna create a program called From to. And he is an [00:18:00] amazing coach, and he said, yes. Does that feel good? And went, yes. He goes it. He was just, he justly,

physiotherapist. Soul pleaser. So that’s how Soul Pleaser was born is. I sat down during the Christmas holidays of 2 16, 2 17 and wrote the program. I felt like it came through me. The six steps just showed up. I cried as I appeared on the screen in front of over about a six week period over Christmas. And then I delivered it live for the first time in January, 2017, and I’ve been using that same program ever since.

Do you ever find yourself like reverting back to being a people pleaser? Totally. So, so it’s not like you’re perfect. It’s not like you’re just all of a sudden fixed and you’re never gonna be a people pleaser, but you. Know that that’s not what you want and you are [00:19:00] aware of it and you’re able to catch yourself.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You become so aware of it, so it’s rare now and it comes up. I believe what I’ve noticed as a coach, and you might experience this too, is that I find that I attract a circumstance where I feel an old limiting belief come up as an emotion. I recognize it. And I go, wow, I thought I’d worked through this stuff.

I thought this was gone. So for example, I had a dream probably about six weeks ago, and in the dream my husband left me and I’ve had since we’ve been married for 20 years. Probably five or six times, and he has never, ever, ever shown me any hint of that being a potential reality in

used.[00:20:00] 

And my little brother and I would stand on the court crying, begging him to stay. So’s fear of rejection, fear of being left, which can really cause you

avoid rejection, avoid. Yes. So we can do it to anyone thinking that they might leave us, even if it would be good for us. So when that came up, I went, wow, this is really interesting. Noticed any fear of rejection for such in. Not with my friends, any of that. And then I realized it was the new group that you and I are in together.

Um, the pure JV group that I noticed now, I didn’t think I felt any fear about it, but I noticed how advanced everybody in the group appeared to be business and, um, we’re behind. You’re, and I didn’t even. I think in the moment [00:21:00] that maybe I was thinking, oh, now I’m the small fish in the big pond, and I went, yeah.

It’s just another layer of that slight, Ooh, I’m not as good. That slight comparison that we can do, and when we’re aligned with our soul, there’s no comparison. There’s no superior, there’s no inferior, there’s no, there’s just love, like you’re who you’re, and you’re where you’re at, and there’s no need to keep up or be as good as.

Or even talk like that in that language. Cause we just, who we and yeah. So it just took me to a whole new level of complete self and self-acceptance, which is, Yeah, you’re at when you’re, I’ve been talking about that with my counselor and then I have this other coach that’s coaching me and, uh, she’s really experiencing all this stuff and she came up, she’s starting a new project and she goes through this process whenever she’s starting a new project and some.

Thought, kind of a fearful thought came up for her and she’s [00:22:00] like, whoa, where did that come from? I thought, I’ve done all this work. And so, you know, it’s helpful to see that, you know, even people ahead of us feel that too, and that it’s kinda like peeling back an onion. There’s more, so many, so many layers.

Yeah, and it’s such a blessing when it comes up. One of my mantras is life is for me, and I really believe that all of it is good. So sometimes we feel like we’re reaching for some sort of nirvana where nothing challenging is ever gonna happen, but that is not why we’ve chosen to have a life experience.

So we’re all here to individually expand and as a whole expand and raise. The global consciousness. Yeah. And so that’s why people are experiencing individual turmoil, but globally we’re experiencing turmoil as well, politically and planet, all of those things. And as individuals as we are triggered, become aware of [00:23:00] our response, our natural triggered knee jerk reaction, which is caused by a deep limiting belief, we become aware of it and let it go.

And then the next time same thing happens, we don’t respond the same way. We have shifted. There has been a shift, and we cannot shift without having an impact on the rest of the world. It’s so exciting. And so when I. Woke up feeling awful, even though my beautiful, loving husband was lying right next to me.

I just had to sit with that emotion and not rush it. I just allowed myself to feel it, knowing that I was about to expand to the next level, because when it feels that uncomfortable, the bounce back is amazing that you get, but the old Tracy would’ve just ignored that feeling and gone to work. Oh yeah.

And gone to work and had a bad day and kinda probably been grumpy with my husband as if he did what he did in the dream, which, you know, I knew wasn’t true. Yeah, I know. That’s right. [00:24:00] When you’re asleep, you can just be triggered by everything and you can feel out of control with your emotions. I was so emotional before this shift.

I was. So reliant on what was going around me to feel the way I felt. So something good would happen. I’d feel good, something bad would happen, I’d feel bad. And so many people with their lives like that. And I believe that we’re people pleasing when we like that. Cause our emotions and how we feel are reliant.

The people around them and what they say and what they do. And whether we like it or not, it’s like we’re. Two year olds and we haven’t grown outta throwing tantrums. Yeah. Yeah. That’s awesome. That’s awesome. So I have the onward movement and I have a Facebook group. You have a similar, well you have a Facebook group too called Soul Pleasers, right?

Yeah. And then you have a coaching program, and you said your program has six steps. And what’s the. Outcome of your coaching program? Well, first off, who’s your ideal client and then what’s your, the [00:25:00] outcome that you get for them? Yeah. Help them achieve. So, so my ideal client is, although I’ve got a separate now for, but my ideal client is really woman.

Who is a people pleaser and they people please to the detriment of their own happiness. And so they realize, they’re aware enough that they say yes too much. They end up exhausted cause they’re forever saying yes that they’re addicted to doing. If you’re addicted to being busy, whether it be working or whether it be cleaning the house or running the kids around, if your calendar is always.

And you never, ever take any time for yourself can guarantee pleas

conditions. You feel yourself. Feel yourself. If you’re correct, weight, if you look pretty, if you’ve got nice clothes on, if your house is clean, if your kids are behaving. Mm-hmm. Like you actually [00:26:00] measure yourself based on something that

if your business is going well, if your boss is praising you, if you have all these conditions on how you feel about yourself, then I can help you like that. That’s the sort of person I can help. And the biggest outcome is that you completely and totally who you, no matter what. It’s funny because I’m someone on the.

Oh really? Like, is that possible? And I say, I know because I read about self-esteem when I was 18 and I was anorexic. I knew that the anorexia was related to not feeling good enough. I knew that intellectually, and I knew it up until 47, so 18 to 40 steps. So I knew it. I read about it. I learned techniques and tools, and I said affirmations, and I knew all of that.

But the difference with the six steps, which [00:27:00] I’ll share with you is that. It’s surrendering to a higher power than ourselves. It’s actually realizing that we can’t do it on our own. If we could have done it on our own, we would’ve already done it right? And it’s really tapping into the energy, the all that is God or the universe or love, infinite source, all of those things.

All of those words to me are this energy, this loving power that we can tap into. And when you don’t love yourself, when you. A perfectionist. When you’re a peace pleaser, the only thing you feel like you can do is control things. And that’s part of the reason that I was outta Mexican America home and trying to control something but icontinue to try and control things to feel safe and to feel worthy.

And so surrendering sounds like hardest thing in the world to do. And when you do and when you go, ok, I give up. I actually give up. And that’s the place that I gotta, I went, you know what? I don’t care if I’m successful anymore. I don’t care if I reach my [00:28:00] bowls anymore. I just want the monkey chatter in my head to stop.

That’s all I want. I don’t want that mean girl in my head being hard on me anymore. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted. I give up. And that’s why I had to get, that’s why I had to burn bottom. And so, yeah, the, is that so. The reason that you end up loving yourself is because you align with the truth of who you are.

So instead of being in fear, you end up aligned with love. Instead of being in irritation and busyness and overwhelmed, you’re joy and peace and. And so of course you feel love. You feel love for everything When you’re aligned with that true essence of who you’re, and so that’s the outcome. And as a result, your relationships are better, your health is better, you have more abundance.

Your business flows, your job flows, or you get a new job that you love. So they’re the outcomes that you get because it’s really [00:29:00] the only thing that matters is being aligned with who you really are. My group of unlimited joy for the women who are going through the program absolutely adore the group.

Like one things they say when they share their testimonials. Is, it’s the safest place they’ve ever been. They have said things, what has spilled outta their mouths in there they didn’t even know was true for them. It’s how they discover themselves is through the things that they say in that group, and there is so much love and support that a lot of the healing comes not just from what I’m saying, but from what everyone in the group is saying because there is just unconditional love.

In that group for every member that comes in. Even the other thing is sometimes women, I’m.

And they’re starting to sit with their old group of girlfriends who are gossiping about other people and they’re starting to feel uncomfortable [00:30:00] and go, oh, these are the only friends I have. I have to stay here cause I’ve got nowhere else to go, but I don’t like it anymore. They keep saying yes to picking up their friends’ kids, or, you know, whatever it is.

But it’s starting to not feel real anymore. And resentment’s starting to build. So they end up starting to feel like they don’t fit in anywhere and then they come into the group and they’re welcomed with open arms and so many of them have say, I’ve found my tribe. Yeah. And thank goodness for technology like this virtual tribe we can create.

It’s so energetically powerful. I feel so connected to these women and many of them I haven’t met face to face, many of them. It’s amazing. Wow. Yeah. That is amazing. I think that there’s a big benefit to group coaching over one-on-one. Yeah, yeah, the energy. Energy is so much more powerful and honestly, when we do the live q and a, Someone will ask a question and then in the chat box there is all these women crying.

They didn’t [00:31:00] know it was their questions.

It’s like seven or eight people all get this huge shift at once because someone has articulated something that they didn’t even know how to articulate. They didn’t even know it was there, and they’re just like, oh. And so I couldn’t do that one on one. No, no. It’s incredible. It’s really, really powerful. I absolutely love it.

I feel so blessed to know every single woman in that group. And then the men are being very vulnerable too. But those men would not talk like that in front of the women, and the women would not talk like that in front of the men. There’s um, a couple of men inward movement that I’ve had conversations with them, and what they like about the armorer movement is that, They’re not in a group with their family or with their friends.

Yeah. And they’re not in the group with their work people and they feel like they can be more vulnerable and say things, especially when we have like [00:32:00] weekend coffee chats. Sometimes I’ll do that and we just get four or five people on the, on a Zoom call and we just chat about how things are going and they, they tend to really like that.

So, yeah. Yeah. I think it’s so important for someone to just find a safe space where they can talk, especially now with Covid. I think that this winter, well, you guys are coming on summer, right? I think this winter where we are is where I am is is gonna be really tough. Folks are starting to get under lockdown more.

I don’t know if that’ll happen in the US but it’s happening in some places in Europe. And to feel connected. I know that we’re on Zoom calls a lot for work, but your coaching calls are a different kind of Zoom call. Yeah, it’s forward to, I think, yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s amazing the women move heaven and earth to get to those live calls, but equally, they scream into the Facebook group and they’re immediately available to anybody who misses it, and they all come on and comment and feel like they were there anyway.

It’s really quite powerful how real it’s, but that’s what energy [00:33:00] is. Energy knows no boundaries. You know, we can feel our connection with each other now with this conversation. I feel so much love for you right now cause you know, we’re aligning and that energy is available to all of us. And I just think about the disharmony and if we have more and more groups.

Like the one I’m talking about popping up around the world, then that is how we can build the world. It’s not small what we’re doing. It’s, I didn’t realize that it’s much bigger than what you might think. For anybody who’s, you know, listening and thinking, I wanna help people say, you know, start by helping yourself the first step.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I love that. Wow. Well, as we wrap this up, is there any point that you wanna make any question that I didn’t ask that you wanna address? I didn’t answer your question before about the steps of the soul. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there is six steps, and the first step is to wake up. And in fact, waking up is a [00:34:00] spontaneous thing that it will occur to you that you can’t force and I can’t help you do it.

And so, When somebody, so it’s through application to work with me. When I speak to someone, I’ll know if they’re awake or not, and if they’re awake, I’ll invite them in by awake. Can you explain that or is it, I know what you’re talking about. I wouldn’t have known what you’re talking about a few years ago, but I do know what you’re talking about now.

Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for asking me to explain it cause that is good. That’s good for me to see if I can explain it. It’s hard. Yeah. Yeah. And I don’t want it to be like some exclusive group. Like there’s something wrong with not being awake. Everyone is totally blessed wherever they are in the, so waking up is remembering.

That you are more than this body and there is more going on than this mouse, than this computer screen and this table that there is energy in and around us [00:35:00] and we can influence our experience of our reality. Yeah. And so when I speak to someone who calls, and interestingly, I hardly ever get a call anymore from someone who is not awake.

So that is a real reflection of my growth over the last four years as well. Right. But originally, People would call, for example, and you know, I would ask them what they would like to change and they wanted someone else to change. Yeah. Only my husband would, and I would, no, I would try to lead them toward, no, if he would just, or if my kids would just, or if my boss would, and they’re not ready for what I do and that’s okay.

Yeah, that’s okay. There are other places where they can find, you know, support and help with what they do. But once, once you’re open to that, you are ready for step one, which is called Wake Up. And we dive really deeply into understanding our [00:36:00] unconscious driver that causes our choices, which is based on the belief, which is why we.

Which is why we do things based on what someone else might think they or do or feel. In step two, we surrender, which I talked about before, and so we shared layers in step two, and in step three it’s called follow the signs. Because we’ve created a vacuum by surrendering and letting go. We allow space for our direct communication to our self to flow in, and that serendipity just tenfold.

It’s like. Knowing a sense of knowing, a big symptom of people pleasers is that they second themselves. And when we’re in step three, we just get a sense of knowing. You just know what to do and you just feel called to do it. And that’s what happened when I thought soul. Some made fun of me. Some went, you’re a scientist.

As a physiotherapist, this sounds really wishy-washy. [00:37:00] And part of me was like, you’re right. But there was this absolute knowing that I had no choice. This is what I was doing. Like my soul was really calling me. So that is a beautiful way to. Really strong intuition. Step four, which is my favorite, is discover you, and this is where the self piece is so natural is when you discover who you.

Step five is be you. You realize that it’s not about what you’re doing, it’s about who you’re being. Just show up as completely authentically the real you. The more aligned you are with the real you, the more successful you’re gonna be naturally in every part of your life. And step six is experience bliss.

Cause that’s what it all feels like when you’re alive with soul. Wow. Oh, that sounds like an awesome program. Yeah. How do people find you if they’re interested in, uh, learning more? Well, you can go to my website [00:38:00] tracy.com and there’s an opportunity to watch a free training there. There’s a free book that you can download and you can reach out to me and send me an email from there as well.

Thank you so much for being on the podcast. It was great to get to know you better. Oh, you too, Emily. Thank you so much for having me. We are an aspect of divinity, the energy that is everything, and we are here to remember who we are. And to be that person, people pleasing, prevents us from knowing and being who we are.

I put links in the show notes to Tracy’s Soul Pleaser Facebook group and to her website. And like Tracy and I discussed during this interview, we both coach in very similar areas. And sometimes a particular person calls out to you, resonates with you more than another. No big deal. There’s plenty of coaches out there, and if you’re looking for a coach to help you and you don’t feel called to me or Tracy, let me [00:39:00] know.

I’ll help you find one that fits with what you’re looking for. If you like this episode, please leave a review wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. Leaving a review helps other people find this podcast as well. Thank you for listening and enjoy the rest of your day.