Your Spark Never Goes Out – You May Just Need Help Finding It

[00:00:00] That is the philosophy I’ve been living by the last three, four years. This idea of igniting a spark. Our fire doesn’t die, but life will try to put wet blankets on us left, right, and center because when we are lit up, we have the power to change the world and the world. Doesn’t want that. The world wants us to live in fear, so we keep buying what we buy.

Keep watching what we watch, keep taking medications. I can go into this whole, some people might call conspiracy, but this materialism, this consumerism, yeah. If we change and realize we don’t need that silly mascara to get that really hot looking guy on the motorcycle. Right. You know, when we stop buying stuff, when we stop buying into the belief that we are not good enough.

We changed the world. So having said that, it’s hard to keep that wet blanket off by yourself cuz it’s heavy, it’s dark, it’s damp, but sometimes another person can come into your life and say, here, let me help you with that.[00:01:00] 

Hello and welcome to the Onward Podcast. I’m Emily Harmon, your host. How have you been holding up lately? It’s the last day in June of 2020 as I record this episode introduction, and many states are starting to see spikes in the coronavirus and shutting down again, and some people are being laid off a second time.

In some cases, reopenings are on hold and there are arguments over whether or not people should be wearing a mask. It’s just a stressful time, and if you’re feeling alone or stressed out, I welcome you to join the Onward Movement. The Onward Movement seeks to inspire at least 10,000 people to join us on our journey to release fear of judgment and confidently move forward to pursue our dreams.

We do this by connecting them to an engaged, compassionate community. That offers tools, resources, [00:02:00] and support as we bravely embrace our authentic selves. I find that many people who have joined the Onward Movement have come to a crossroad in life. For years, they’ve had dreams left on the shelf because other people’s agendas were more important, or they didn’t wanna rock the boat or life got in the way.

Whatever happened, there’s a light inside them that they dimmed down because they didn’t want others to disapprove. And as time’s gone by, it’s become harder and harder to dim that light and a small voice inside them is urging them to remember their dreams and telling them it’s time. We’re all in different parts of our journey to find our authentic selves.

Some in the Onward movement are very authentic. Some are afraid of judgment, but we’re all working together and encouraging each other, and I just think it’s a really awesome group. Right now, the Onward Movement is a Facebook [00:03:00] community. However, when we can, we plan on holding. In person get togethers and retreats, but for now, we get together on Facebook and over Zoom.

For example, tonight we had a virtual pizza party. We’ve had happy hours and coffee chats over Zoom as well. It’s a great way to meet other people and to support one another. The link to the Onward Movement Facebook group is in the show notes, and I hope to see you there. In this onward podcast episode, I’m interviewing Melanie from, And we’re talking about many topics, but to sum it up, we are talking about how we can choose to become the best version of ourselves, and we discuss how that best version of ourselves can evolve.

This interview was conducted in August of 2019, and at the end of the interview, I’ll give you an update as to how Melanie’s life has evolved since we conducted this interview. Melanie, welcome to the Onward Podcast. Thank you so much [00:04:00] Al. Melanie, I’m excited to have a chat with you. You spent the first half of your life, um, probably like a lot of us, uh, living the life that society and family expected of you.

Mm-hmm. Uh, climbing the corporate ladder. You were a young single mom, but you, but, and you did everything that you were supposed to do. But you feel fulfilled. Not at all. Yeah. So can you tell us about that? Sure. I mean, I was a bit of a crazy teenager. I had my son at the age of 16, and instead of choosing the route of the stereotypical teenage mom on welfare, having multiple babies and baby daddies and that kind of thing, I went the opposite.

I went back to high school playing with the love and support of my parents. I was able to graduate with honors and I started work a month later. My mom has been just my savior with before and afterschool care, but I went to work right away. I didn’t really choose my career. I was, I signed up with this government program that.

Uh, paid your wages for the first six months and I just took the first job offer where I was given, which happened to be [00:05:00] in like inventory, logistics, spying and replenishment. And now, gosh, 22. Ooh, 22 years later. Yikes. That’s all I’ve done. That’s been my day job career. And so I worked diligently at that job and I went to night school part-time to educate myself more in that field and have more qualifications and.

Really the path that I chose at that point was working at the job, getting raises, finding out what was needed to become management. If that wasn’t an option, finding another company that would either hire me, so, you know, the, the lateral move or slightly above it got to a point where I was actually then being headhunted because I became good and I was out on LinkedIn in all the right places.

But after, gosh, 15 years, no, maybe 12 years. Yeah, 12, 15 years. In my early thirties, I had gone from a hundred and. 50 pounds to 260. I was on 17 [00:06:00] different prescriptions, 10 for things wrong, seven for side effects. From the first 10. I was in a very unhappy, unhealthy relationship for about five years, and my doctor said, you’re probably gonna need heart surgery in the next six months, and I was 32.

Whoa. Yeah. A stressful job too, I’m sure. Oh, yeah. And, and the pressures of, you know, working overtime, but being on salary and trying to prove to others, because I didn’t, don’t have a university degree, you know, to prove to others that I’m capable. And so using my natural talents of organizational attention to detail, good memory, strong mathematical acumen, I was able to climb that ladder.

But when I was told this, everything just hit me. That was like a wake up call. Oh my gosh. And then throwing in, that was the same summer that I flew to Germany. I know I grew up in Germany and it was the 20 year anniversary of when I had moved away from Germany and I met up with a bunch of my [00:07:00] childhood friends from like grade one and two.

And you know, my neighbor, it was amazing. But they all had jobs they liked, their weight was all average. They. Some of them had even stayed in the same village I grew up in, but looking at their life and their choices and where they were at, not just physically, but more of a mindset as well. I came back and I was like, what’s happened to me?

I don’t even, you were hanging around people that you worked with, so you prob you just didn’t see it. And yeah. You know, having a child so young, you’re of course you just took a job that you can, and then just things start to happen and you just don’t have time to look up and breathe and to see. And the weight probably came on gradually.

It’s not like one day you were 150 and the next day you were 200. No, it, it took 15 years to get there, but by gosh, it was a real wake up call. Yeah. And, uh, so then I, I realized, what am I doing? I’m, I’m killing myself. [00:08:00] And what if my son wants to have kids? Am I gonna see my grandkids? Am I gonna see him graduate high school?

I mean, all these things started showing up, you know, when we got threatened with our sense of mortality. Yeah. It really, I liken it to the movie, the Matrix. You know when Keanu Reeves gets the choice of the two pills, the one you go back in, you forget everything, or the other one, you wake up, but you never go back.

Well, I took the pill and I never went back. So, uh, and I woke up, woke up to my own life. And to the reality that all of my life choices contributed to where I was and realistically not liking those choices. Well, that’s interesting. I think not everyone would say all of my life’s choices led to this. I mean, you took ownership of it.

Not everyone does. No, but ultimately everything we do is a choice. Now I. Whether it’s a conscious choice or a subconscious choice, I mean, we could [00:09:00] do a whole nother podcast about subconscious patterning and conditioning and talk about Joe Dispenza’s work about, you know, re becoming your, you know, your real self and reprogramming.

But for me, it was realizing no one was forcing the food into my mouth. It was my own hand feeding myself. No one forced me into my car at 6:00 AM to drive to work, to get ahead on the emails before everyone else showed up. No one put a gun to my head to stay late that night to finish three emails. You know, it really is choices.

But realizing that there are external factors that influence our subconscious and our patterning, that was something that happened over time for me. I just started saying, well, how, doctor, what can I do? And he kinda went, you could try yoga. And so that’s, that’s where my journey, I didn’t just step off the path that I was on.

I think I cliff dived head first off of that one into a new one. I think I went skydiving without a parachute when I [00:10:00] switched over. Yeah. And so for the last nine years, every day has brought me closer and closer to realizing what I had been doing to myself before and what I want to be doing now, the type of woman I want to be in this world, the kind of service I wanna provide, and the kind of life I wanna live.

So let me ask you a question. Why do you think, when you went back to Germany, why were, you said all of your classmates. Different than you. Is it the culture over there? Definitely culture. When I moved to Canada, you were in Canada, right? I moved over when I was like 13. So culture difference, huge. When I came here, like after three weeks, when I finally made friends like, Hey, you wanna go to the mall?

I’m like, okay, well school’s done at three. I’ll do my homework. I can go at six. They’re like, no. Like right now, like it’s 10:00 AM we have math class next. The concept of skipping school, skipping class didn’t exist in my brain when I was in Germany. So here, all of a sudden I got into the wrong crowd and, and mindset was very different.

Being a teenage mom, it’s [00:11:00] not about blaming my son, but it’s acknowledging that because I had my child so young and the choices that I made for that life for him, my friends didn’t have that. They didn’t have children till their twenties and some not until their thirties. So a lot of that drives our decision making, our family, our surroundings, but society and culture is huge.

So what would you say now to your younger self 20 years ago? Ah, well, 20 years ago, my son would’ve been five. He’s now 25. So my little guy would’ve been five and I would’ve been 20. And that’s when I was really starting all the night school courses and working for a particular company. That was interesting.

It was very old school, male domineering. I would’ve told myself then to still pursue what I wanted, but to start yoga yoga’s what really changed my life and my mindset. Not just my body, but my mindset. So to tell myself to start yoga, I. And [00:12:00] start reading certain books. There’s certain books that have had a life-changing effect on me, and I would’ve added those into the, the yoga meditation world.

The message, maybe talk about your books, but if not, I’d love to get them the, the list. Sure. Put ’em in the show notes. Sure. Yeah. And then the third part that I’ve told myself is give myself permission to rediscover myself, the little girl that used to climb trees and be fearless. Don’t suffocate her. The little girl that used to take her three best friends into the woods and craft these elaborate stories about Robinhood, and you be made Marion, and I’d be Robin Hood and we’re gonna do this, this let the storyteller live and breathe.

The girl that was confident and that wasn’t busy chasing something society told her she had to. So that would’ve been my message to me back then. Would you have listened to it? I’m a Taurus. I probably would’ve. Uh, Baed at it a little bit, but if, if I [00:13:00] knew it was me, yeah, I would’ve listened. I might not have gone all in.

I would’ve like, okay, try yoga. Okay, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll go to a class here or there and see what happens. And then I would’ve realized, damn, I was right. Well, why would your doctor suggest yoga? I mean, I’ve never, I’ve, I’ve heard a doctor maybe suggest exercise or walking. Why was it yoga? Well, because walking for me, I had very painful knees and hips and because of all the extra weight walking hurt like crazy.

I actually think my doctor was, wasn’t even serious about it. I think it was one of those sarcastic, you’re looking for a magic pill, honey. But there ain’t one. Try yoga. I don’t, looking back now, I think it was more of a get outta the office. I have another patient to see. My physical body was very limited in what I was able to do.

I think he was more concerned about my heart rate getting too high and causing problems that way. [00:14:00] So something more restorative. But realistically, I, I suspect it was, uh, A really bad joke. So somebody that could have that in your situation could have just given up like, this is just too hard, life’s too hard, and my knees hurt.

I’m overweight. Why did you not give up? Why did you try yoga and why did you change? I think realistically it was because my son was watching me. When you have the next generation that close to you watching, I asked myself do I want my son to have heart surgery at the age of 30, 35. My biological father had five heart surgeries in his life, I think it was, and he ended up dying just last year of a heart attack.

Um, at the age of 67. I know that heart issues run in my biological family, and it doesn’t always have a happy ending, so my son was my driving force behind it, whether he knows it or not. [00:15:00] Yeah. Uh, kids will do that to you, that’s for sure. Yeah. Whether you like it too or not. And what was your first yoga experience like?

Oh my gosh. My first yoga experience. I got into the room, got outta the mat, of course, as far back as I could. I didn’t want anyone behind me when I was doing a downward dog, right? And I looked around and I was by far the largest person. And I paused because the, the feelings are very real still to this day.

Every now and then, feelings of shame. Yeah, that I allowed my body to get to this place because in my youth, I actually was a dancer. I, I danced in Germany and I was playing soccer, things like that. So it was a very harsh lesson in reality that I, I had allowed this to happen. So, looking around, I first of all felt physically like the beached whale in the room.

I really felt like, I needed to leave right away, but I told myself, no, I signed up for one month. I’m gonna go four times a week. I’m gonna make this work if it kills me. Did people, that’s where my tourist stubbornness [00:16:00] comes in. Yeah. Did people in the class, or did the yoga instructor make you feel comfortable?

That can be very intimidating, even if you are, quote unquote, good shape or whatever the first few weeks. I didn’t really connect with any of the teachers. I had one teacher, and I know she meant well. She stood with wide legs and said, and the easiest thing you’ll do, all class interlace your fingers behind your back.

And here I was trying to reach behind me and I was like a flapping penguin. I looked like a dog trying to chase its tail. I couldn’t even touch my fingers together. My shoulders were so tight. My body weight was so lopsided on where everything was proportion and distributed. I couldn’t even touch my fingers.

And I had several moments where as I progressed through the weeks, I was just getting angrier and angrier in every yoga class. And I even had some coworkers say, isn’t yoga supposed to chill you out? You’ve become a real like neurotic bitch. And like, oh, huh. But then I had my [00:17:00] breakthrough that last week when I told myself full month it was the same yoga class, the same teacher, the same music.

She didn’t vary it too much. And I thought, this will be the day I will throw that damn yoga block at her head. And so when we got us down and she got us down into pigeon, which is a, is a kind of like a hip and glued deep stretch. I took a deep breath and I was like, Ooh, I better move that block outta the way cuz today’s gonna be the day.

Moved it outta the way, took a second breath and I couldn’t, to this day tell you what was different, but as I exhaled, it was slow and it was filled with soft tears. Wow. And all I heard was inside my head was, I get it now. I couldn’t tell you what I got, but something clicked, something switched for me. So many people, when they try to start a new habit, me included, you know, I’m sure we’ve all done it.

Yeah, I’m gonna meditate every day. And you do it for like two days and then you stop. But you said, I’m going to do this for a month, and you did it. Yes. [00:18:00] And it wasn’t until the end of that month. That something clicked that I had my breakthrough. Now, I do have to say, leading up to that yoga journey I had tried the Jenny Craigs the Weight Watchers, the Cabbage Soup Diet, the that crazy maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and lemon diet.

Like I bought DVDs of exercise videos. Some of them were stolen the plastic wrapper. I had joined gyms and never gone. I had tried everything. I tried all sorts of pills that you can buy at the different grocery stores, help you lose weight that are really just caffeine pills. What made you stick with yoga then?

What made you say a month and stick with it? That maybe the heart thing, what the doctor said? Well, part of it was the whole son and heart thing, but I actually, I knew the studio owner of the yoga studio and I had arranged with her to do a, what’s called an energy exchange program. Where for a few hours a week doing reception work, I would get free classes.

And I actually really loved working at that studio as a receptionist. I saw lots of areas where I could help her, improve her business, be [00:19:00] more organized, learned about the system. And so there was this symbiotic relationship that if I quit the yoga, I’d be quitting those reception hours. And so there, there’s, yeah, those two were definitely correlated together.

Interesting. Mm-hmm. But still, you learned a lesson, you learned something there that even if in the next time you try something new, even if you don’t have that symbiotic relationship mm-hmm. You know that it could be that in 30 days or so, something will click change. Does not happen overnight. Even at a cellular level, it takes 21 to 28 days for our cells to regenerate.

So if I, as a human being in my body take that long to create evolution, then I need to give myself that same chance when I try something new or something different. So you were doing this, uh, working at the yoga studio in addition to your full-time job. Yes, I was. So, I had scaled back on the stressful hours at the day job, but I had added extra working hours doing [00:20:00] something I love, and I realized it doesn’t feel like work.

And that’s when things really started to happen for me, this awareness of, well, I started taking more courses. I started looking at other positions, and I managed to change jobs. I was headhunted and found a place where 40 hours a week, no expectations of overtime, decent pay, I could choose my hours, and I was able to coordinate those hours with how I taught and when I worked at the studio, And then from there, more courses, more training, more certifications.

And then finally in 2016, I opened up my own yoga studio. So how long was that from when your first yoga class to mm-hmm. When you opened the studio? Well, what’s interesting is my first yoga class was in August of 2010. I left the yoga studio that I had been working at in April of 2016. But because of delays with renovations, we didn’t open until.

August, [00:21:00] 2016. Wow. So six years after like to the month. I think I’m off by four or five days. But yeah, very close to the exact same time. We opened the doors and I started teaching outta my own studio. So you’ve got your own studio and started teaching. And don’t forget, I still had my day job. Oh, wow. So knowing how you, you know, how you felt in your classes, do you do things differently when you’re an instructor?

Very much you feel comfortable? What do you do differently? Well, I joke a lot. I am not your world’s most serious yogi. Mm-hmm. I’ve been sometimes not criticized, but I’ve had other yoga teachers just say, oh, oh, this is, oh, okay. Um, I will make jokes. I will tell a story in the middle of my practice. I will, well, I always play really good music for me.

Music creates. Such an opportunity for us to shift our mindset and [00:22:00] to tap into something different. So I am very meticulous about my playlists and very selective, and I am always updating my playlist so that the students, even if I do the exact same physical practice with different music, it feels different too.

Oh no. So for me, it was always, I knew that I wanted others like me. To feel like they’re part of the community. Mm-hmm. I’m still not as at the physical weight. The average quote unquote yoga teacher is, I’m very, I’m five two and I’m like 180 right now. I’ve put some weight back on over the years and. The best way for me to share, show students that it’s not just about your weight, it’s about your bone structure.

So I, I have this little joke where I sit down on my bum with my legs straight ahead, take my arms, lock ’em out, and I say, okay, everyone do this. And they’re like, okay. Like now put your hands on the floor next to your hips with your arms straight. 9.9 times outta 10, everyone can put their full palm flat on the ground.

My hands probably two to three inches off the ground. [00:23:00] I have short arms, bone structure. It has nothing to do with how flexible I am or how much yoga I do, but that does create restrictions in how I can move through certain yoga poses because I don’t have enough of an upper arm to create a shelf for my need a re on.

Plus I have a rather ample bosom, which gets in the way of doing certain things. So I am able to, in a. Very relaxed manner. Show students physically why. Guess what? It’s okay to modify if this is where your body lets your reach, guess what? That’s okay. And then also in another way, say, well, here’s another way and try it.

Cuz you might actually surprise yourself at how strong you really are. It can be really intimidating to go into these yoga classes with the instructors wearing the perfect yoga outfit and being perfectly mm-hmm. Proportionate and thin and zen and everything else that you envision a yoga teacher [00:24:00] is supposed to be in that if you do yoga, you’re gonna start to be like, like them.

And that’s really intimidating. Yes. And I’ve been to plenty of places where I’ve, I’ve come across an exact stereotype, but there’s more and more of quote unquote us out there, body positive, curvy, overweight, middle-aged. You know, there’s more of us out there now, and we’re, we’re getting the message out there that it doesn’t matter your age, size limitations, that yoga has something to offer for everybody.

And that’s my biggest message. If someone like me can step on the mat and create some permanent life changes, and I don’t just mean weight loss, I really don’t. More of a mindset shift in recognizing that we have made choices that make us unhappy. Well, we also then have a choice to make us happy, so let’s start choosing more of that and less of the other.

Yes. So you covered it a little bit, but is that what you would, how you would summarize how you’re different [00:25:00] after trying yoga? After doing yoga? I think so. I also have extensive training, which, so you know, I’ve got the technical background, but I also have enough compassion and empathy to understand that sometimes the body simply won’t go to that place on your first yoga class.

Yeah. And so being patient. The best thing you can do. And I, and I love, I think it’s a Maya Angelou quote, people will forget what you said. They’ll forget what you did. They will never forget how you made them feel. And that is my goal, to get into those emotions and feelings. If I have people laughing or rolling their eyes at my stupid jokes or looking around the room going, is this for real?

Is this our yoga teacher? Cause she just dropped an F bomb, you know? Then that is something. That I can say, you know, I’m leaving the world a a better place than when I first came into it. So if all of the listeners, people listening to this podcast, were in this room right now, gathered in a circle, [00:26:00] what would you want them to feel?

I would want them to feel joy. I want them to feel not just hope, because hope sometimes implies that it’s hopeless, but it hopeful. That no matter where they are in life right now, that they can take their own fire, which never goes out and give it a little bit of a boost and really be open to the opportunity.

So joy, a bit of a fire and, and maybe a little bit of silliness cuz life is way too serious. Way too serious. It is. So you’ve recently closed your yoga studio. Yes. So what’s on the horizon for you? What’s next? That is a big giant question mark for me right now. I closed the yoga studio and at the same time was restructured for my day job, and so the slate was very clear.

I moved to Pittsburgh to move in with my boyfriend, and I’ve been there for a couple of months now, and adjusting to not having classes, not having a studio, not having a job, [00:27:00] it’s been a little bit of a challenge, and right now I’ve been. Battling, I will say battling the the immigration process to go to the states because I’m a Canadian and a UK citizen and basically I’m down to the point where the best option is to get married.

And to me that’s the worst reason to get married. Yes, I do have a book that I’ve written, a f fantasy fiction book that talks about kind of being presented with the challenge of living your life, the way society and family expects, versus stepping out on your own and embracing your superpowers and.

That’s ready for publishing, and I recently had a publisher contact me and they’re looking at the whole manuscript right now, and if they don’t take it, I might self-publish. So there’s some works there of my writing. Yeah. Then there’s also this idea that I’m creating an online offering for mentorship, for yoga teachers, for one-on-one coaching, for intuitive card reading and consulting for other studios.

I learned so much in my three years plus [00:28:00] the years prior managing another studio. That if I had someone like me when I first opened, I can tell you a lot of things would’ve been different. Yeah. So I’m looking at creating those types of offerings. So it doesn’t matter where I am in the world, I can help someone else.

And so the idea is that I can ignite them on their journey of their possibilities and their opportunities and support them on that path. So what that looks like, and I don’t know. No, that’s okay. And for a lot of my listeners, I’m just assuming, but probably a lot of my listeners are US citizens and we’re born in the US and you know, have not really experienced.

The issue of immigration. So what, why can’t you just get, get a job in the in the us? Well, in order to legally work, and I say legally because that’s really important, I need to have a work permit of some kind. I don’t need a visa to go to the states because I am Canadian, so that’s not required. But I need a work permit.

And there’s several different classifications [00:29:00] within that, and it’s limited. There’s the one option, which is a temporary work visa. But the qualifications, the requirements to get that have really become more challenging in the last five years. And the more permanent one requires a company to sponsor me into the country, and that costs about 800 US dollars on top of paying for all the lawyer fees to get the paperwork corrected.

And then it’s part of a lottery. So this HB one Visa or H one B Visa, the one that’s permanent, you have to apply April 1st. Every year, and by the time all everything was happening was was past April 1st, and they only issue about 65,000 of these business HB one visas a year, but they have about 200,000 applicants.

Wow. So it’s a lottery system. Wow. That’s very challenging. The best option is to get married, like I said, but. It doesn’t really support what I want to accomplish in this life just to get married for the piece of paper, right? To me, that’s way too much pressure on a relationship [00:30:00] and the expectations and and what follows afterwards.

So the TN one visa, the temporary one, which I thought would be my best bet as a management consultant under the NAFTA agreement. Mm-hmm. Because I do have extensive business experience. In fact, I’ve worked for some Canadian companies who actually have mother companies in the US that this management consultant thing would, would be an an avenue.

My own brother used it many years ago to work on a film set cuz he’s in the film industry. He didn’t use the entertainment visa. He used this TN one visa and he did just fine. But now the requirements have really gotten very complicated, and it’s been very disheartening to be honest with you, because I want to, Make this change through the proper channels legally.

But I keep coming across roadblock after roadblock. I’m not surprised that people are more and more trying to do it the shady way. Mm-hmm. But that doesn’t align with my lifestyle and my morality is and what I want to accomplish. And for me, the big thing [00:31:00] is I don’t wanna risk me not being able to come back in and outta the country.

And I have family in the UK and in Canada. I don’t wanna be stuck. I’ve had some job offers from yoga studios since I’ve moved down. Some great job offers and I really miss teaching, but they require me to be able to legally work in the country because they don’t wanna pay cash, and I certainly don’t blame them.

I’m certainly not asking them to pay cash. An instructor expenses the one place at a studio can recoup a lot of money as a business expense during their yearly taxes. I know this because I was a studio owner. So it’s been very depressing to be honest, to know that there’s people who like what I’m putting out there, but I can’t actually do it legally.

Wow. That’s really so where that leads me. I don’t know. I don’t give up. As you can tell, I do keep moving onward. And so what the future holds is. Looking at possibly Canadian companies [00:32:00] that I can work online only for, right? Maybe go up every other month for some business meetings or really put my everything and all that I have into these online offerings and what I can put out into the world that it won’t matter where in the world I am that I can provide this service for people and publishing my novel writing four more cuz it’s part of a series.

Who knows Jill of all trades. Yes. Well, one thing I can tell about you is you are going to figure it out. Thank you. I call stubborn Taurus, but yeah, no. Yeah. I’m a Taurus too. Maybe that’s why I get you kind spirits. Yes. You said that our spark never goes out. Sometimes we just need someone else to help us ignite it.

We don’t need to change. That implies that something is wrong with us instead. Why can’t we just give ourselves permission to evolve? That is the philosophy I’ve been living by the last three, four years. This idea of igniting a spark. Our fire [00:33:00] doesn’t die, but life will try to put wet blankets on us left, right, and center because when we are lit up, We have the power to change the world, and the world doesn’t want that.

The world wants us to live in fear, so we keep buying what we buy. Keep watching what we watch, keep taking medications. I can go into this whole, some people might call conspiracy, but this materialism, this consumerism, yeah. If we change and realize we don’t need that silly mascara to get that really hot looking guy on the motorcycle.

Right. You know, when we stop buying stuff, when we stop buying into the belief that we are not good enough. We change the world. So having said that, it’s hard to keep that wet blanket off by yourself cuz it’s heavy, it’s dark, it’s damp, but sometimes another person can come into your life and say, here, let me help you with that.

Let’s burn this blanket. Let’s burn that mofo and get rid of it. I love that. And all of a sudden you realize [00:34:00] your flame never went out. And there’s this great analogy of if you are in a dark room with one candle, That candle can light the room, but you bring in a second candle and it gets even brighter.

Lighting another person’s candle doesn’t cost you anything. I think we get cut up in, in compensation. Well, if I light you up, what are you gonna give me? Well, yes, I need to make a living. I need to be able to have the right resources to provide what I wanna do. I’m certainly not looking out, not on the track to become a millionaire by any means.

So this, this fire, and then the biggest thing for me too is this change versus evolution. You know, I see all these transformation quotes or these transformation posts and they’re wonderful, but where I start getting a little edgy is the word change. Because to me, change is really implying that there’s something wrong with us.

And I think we come into this world as perfectly imperfectly beings, pure souls. It’s life experiences that kind of warp and twist us in ways that aren’t really [00:35:00] who we are. So for me it’s about this evolution. This evolution to give yourself permission to explore the possibilities. And it could be something as simple as you’ve never had sushi.

Go try some sushi, and you can decide then if you like it or not. But if you say you don’t like it and you’ve never tried it, Not buying it, honey, I’m just not. But with that evolution is also the idea that we can choose to become the best versions of ourselves. The best version of Melanie 15 years ago was working a 14 hour day and doing her best to provide for her son and doing her best to raise him as a good human.

The best version of Melanie. Three years ago was an entrepreneur fired up wanting to create her own space to bring people in to show them what they’re capable of. And the best version of Melanie today is figuring out what she’s gonna be when she comes up. But it doesn’t mean I have to change. [00:36:00] So there’s the evolution part, but in that whole process, the rediscovery.

Like I said, I used to be that girl that climbed trees, the girl that created stories for her girlfriends to play with, and I was also that girl that would invite the girl in the corner that everyone ignored. I would be the one to invite her into the circle. And I realized that in this journey that I started nine years ago, I’d forgotten about that girl.

I had become the girl in the corner that everyone ignored and neglected, and now I’m stepping forward and making sure no one. Is in the corner, no one is left out. And I do everything I can to make everyone feel included and supported, and seen and heard in this world. But I wouldn’t have rediscovered that part about myself had I not made certain choices to evolve.

And I wouldn’t have chosen to evolve, had something not put a fire under my butt. Right, right. So that’s my philosophy, and I live by it every day. And I ask [00:37:00] myself, you know, in the morning, will this choice help me light up the world? Or is this the wet blanket showing up again? And don’t get me wrong, there are days the wet blanket shows up in my life.

And next thing you know, I’ve eaten two tubs of ice cream and I’m back under the blanket and say, woo, hold on. But see, now I know that it’s a wet blanket, and underneath that is still the fire. So I can say, wait a minute, do I really need this blanket right now? Yeah. Right. And that, and I think, you know, everybody does that.

Like last night I had, um, A glass of wine, maybe two glasses. And then I didn’t really want to, but I, but I made the choice to go get the sour cream and onion potato chips that my daughter and her boyfriend had left. Cause I wasn’t gonna have ’em before. I had my first glass of wine. And then after the second, after the first glass, it’s like, well, the, I think they would be really good.

So I got ’em, but I’m not gonna beat myself up for it. No. And I was a wet blanket. I threw it off. And yes, very healthy today. [00:38:00] So excellent. And it’s just that choice. It’s the choice to say, Hey, I’m gonna own what I chose. Yep. But my next meal I always giggle at, at girls, okay, this is bad because it sounds like I’m being judgemental.

But you know, I worked in a very large office and on Monday afternoons or Tuesday afternoons, I would always go to the cafeteria just. This, this experiment, and I would walk around slowly drinking my water or my tea, and I’d listen to the little circles of little groups and it’s always women at that point at 2:00 PM time slot.

And I always had these donuts and coffee with cream and sugar or special latte mixes, and I would inevitably hear at least one table. I’ve already fallen off the wagon. I guess I’ll start my diet on Monday. Right, right. It was Tuesday. Well, you can just start at your next meal. Or you can just say, Hey, you know what?

I forgive myself for this choice and I’m gonna make a better one next time. We punish ourselves too much so, and then we delay things. You know that, right? Why was she starting on Monday? [00:39:00] Couldn’t she have just started at dinnertime when she got home? And so, yeah, I’m very much about being present, making choices, and not punishing yourself anymore.

I used to do that. The world punishes us enough. Why are we doing it to ourselves? I agree. Seriously. I agree. Definitely agree. Well, I’ve really enjoyed, uh, interviewing you, Melanie, because I mean, I, I enjoy every interview and I learn something from every interview, and I know that my listeners do as well.

That’s amazing. Well, I’m really glad we had this chat too. It was very, very fun, enjoyable, and actually made me have to reflect a little bit more on what’s coming up in my life. Soon. You’ll be fine. I know you’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna figure it out. Thank you. Yeah, keep in touch. Definitely. Well, I’ve got you on Instagram, so don’t be surprised if I tag you in stuff.

So I very much promote other sole printers and other people that are supporting my work. If we do more of this in the world, we can change the [00:40:00] world. So that’s my philosophy. Yeah. You’re lighting my candle and I’m lighting yours. We’re making, let’s go the world brighter. And the beautiful part is, like I said, it doesn’t cost us anything to do this.

No. To support you. To support me. It’s not costing us anything. No, I love it. Thank you. Love it too. Is it time for you to rediscover who you are, who you were born to be, and on your own terms, do you sometimes feel like your spark has gone out? Our spark never goes out. You just might need some help in finding it.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, and I hope this interview gives you the courage to do some introspection and to evolve into the best version of you right now at this time of your life. Here’s a short update. Well, it’s not really a short update, [00:41:00] man. Melanie has accomplished so much since we last talked in August.

Here’s what she says. When we spoke, I had moved from Toronto, Canada to Pittsburgh after losing my corporate day job and closing my yoga studio to start a new life with my then boyfriend. Well, that lasted until the end of September before the relationship unraveled. So I moved back in with my parents in Canada and spent all of October in a deep depression, unlike I’ve ever experienced before.

Fast forward to December 21st, 2019. I released my first novel Lady of Fire, the Immortal Elements on Amazon in all countries. And in this episode she talks about how she was writing a book and look, she released it in December, on December 21st, and I’ll provide a link in the show notes. And she said it’s also available on Barnes and Noble.

And now in 2020, [00:42:00] Melanie is about to embark on her next chapter of life on July 3rd, so right before this episode publishes, she’s moving from Toronto to Scotland with a one way ticket. I’ve never done that before. She said it’s just going to be herself. And 130 pounds of luggage, and she’s going to become a bit of a gypsy nomad for a while to write the second book called Lady of Water.

Currently she offers online movement classes four times a week on a pay. What you can model. And she started a new series of short stories called A Fairytale Unleashed, and the first one is available on her website. She released a self-guided online course called Well UN F X Cck Your Chakras. I think you know what that means.

Un F. And then she put an X in there instead of a u ck. Your [00:43:00] chakras. And she will be releasing a new companion self-development online course to her book, lady on Fire called Reclaim Your Fire. Oh my gosh. She says at the end of her email to me, seriously, so much has happened. The above is just the beginning.

Melanie is still evolving, and so are we. We all are, and that’s the exciting part of this life. Let’s live it. Have a great day everyone. Be sure to check the show notes for links to Melanie’s contact information, as well as your Instagram page and her website links to her book, and you can also find the link to the Onward Movement Facebook group.

I look forward to seeing you there.[00:44:00]