The Truth Will Set You Free

[00:00:00] And even if you’re working for an employer, this applies to you now. Have you ever thought how you want your day to be structured? Not only how you want your day to be structured, but really I. How you want to create that day within what it is that you’re doing. And I think that that is something that many, most perhaps people don’t really understand that the extent to which we really are in the driver’s seat. Even if you’re working for someone else. Right? Right. There’s, there’s certain things when you’re, when you’re your own boss, when you’re self-employed, when you’re an entrepreneur, a solopreneur, That you need to, that flush up that where you’ll be stretching. But the same principles really do apply when you’re working for someone else. [00:01:00] This is Emily Harmon, host of the Onward Podcast. Welcome, if this is the first time you’re listening to the Onward Podcast, I appreciate you and I hope you enjoy this episode. This is an interview with my coach, one of my coaches, Sandy Rakowitz, and we’re talking about how the truth will set you free, really getting to know yourself, understanding yourself, getting to the truth of who you really are and what you really want for your life. Animals save Sandy through connection when she felt alone, disconnected, and on the fringe, and now she helps others rescue themselves to enhance their self-worth and their net worth. Sandy is dedicated to helping people and their animals and their businesses thrive, and she mentors her clients in one-on-one private sessions, classes, group and group co programs to unleash their intuitive and creative gifts. And she enables her clients to believe and trust deeply in themselves to live on [00:02:00] purpose while turning their dreams into reality. And she’s been doing that for me since I’ve been working with her. Thank you, Sandy. I appreciate you. This onward podcast episode was broadcast live as a special episode on Veterans Day in 2021, and now it’s being published as a regular onward podcast episode. So you’ll hear me and Sandy talking to some of the people that were watching because they were posting comments and engaging in the conversation. If you haven’t done that, try it. I go live most Wednesday nights at 7:30 PM Eastern. Just connect with me on LinkedIn. Or join the Onward Movement Facebook group. That way you’ll get notifications as to when I’m going live. Hi everybody. Welcome to a Special Veteran’s Day onward podcast episode on the host of the Onward podcast, Emily Herman. And I’m excited today to be talking with, I don’t know [00:03:00] who’s gonna be interviewing her. Who, but talking to one of my coaches, Sandy Rakowitz, and I met her last January, and I’ve come such a long way in working with Sandy that we decided, well, let’s, let’s talk about it. Because some of the things that I’ve been through, I know. Other women go through and even men. And if you’re a man and have a woman in your life, you know what I’m gonna talk about tonight, about how the truth will set you free will resonate with a lot of you. So welcome. Please, uh, post in the comments and ask any questions that you want. And I’m gonna bring Sandy, On Sandy, welcome. Hi there. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. This is so cool. I mean, you’re in California and I’m in Virginia. We’re on different coasts and then I’m pretty sure we have somebody watching from Africa and got people watching from all over the world, and so that’s pretty cool. [00:04:00] Technology can really bring us all together. So Sandy, you and I met last. January. Mm-hmm. When I signed up my, one of my neighbors said, oh, someone I know that used to live in Charlottesville is, um, hosting this watercolor class. And, I don’t know, I think that’s what she said. You know, it was kind of a, a, a coaching thing with watercolors. And so I decided I would like to try that cuz I had started watercoloring. I wasn’t really looking at you to be a coach. I was just looking at Oh. Kind of watercoloring and. And, um, I think it had something to do with like, feeling my feelings and that was the path I was on. And so I said, oh, I’ll sign up. And then I ended up investing in you and working with you for the next year. Yes. You did. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, that particular class, uh, w was, uh, one heart journaling and it’s a process that I have created over time, partially to help me deal with [00:05:00] grief, but also with life’s ups and downs, and, and it really helps to unlock your heart and your creativity. And even though I’m also a business coach, as well as an animal communicator and energy healer over a long period of time and do hands-on work. With animals and long distance work with people and animals and working with money and relationships and all sorts of things. One of the things that I really love doing is helping people connect in to their creativity, even if they don’t feel like they have a creative bone in their body. Yeah, that’s me. Although you really are creative and uh, that’s what happens. It, it opens up. What you, what we all have inside of ourselves. It’s just such a beautiful vehicle to bypass your mind, to engage your mind differently, to help you open your heart. And this particular series was all about really connecting, as you said, with your feelings. [00:06:00] And what is it that’s trying to work its way through you right now? You know, like what are those truths? You could say that, right? What are those dreams that are. Coming up and through you, but that your mind doesn’t always get right because our mind, you know, our thinking mind we that, you know, that’s like, what, isn’t that like 10% of our brain or something that our thinking mind and I have lived most of my life in my thinking brain, not in my feeling. And, uh, so we’ll get onto that in a minute. One of the reasons I retired after working for the Navy for so long is I noticed that I wasn’t feeling my feelings. I’ve told you that my drug of choice was busyness, and that way I didn’t have to notice them or feel them or acknowledge them. And, you know, maybe you want to talk about like what you remember me, how you remember me as being on the day that you interviewed me, and we [00:07:00] decided that. We would work together. Who is that, Emily? Well, I think it would be good for you to also comment on what you remember from that time. One of the things that did stand out was that when I would ask you how something felt you, you would literally just. It was like a deer in headlights. You would go blank, and it was obvious to me that you felt many things, but that you weren’t, your mind wasn’t connected to what that was registering in your system or your body, or your heart, or your motions. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel, and I remember saying that to you a number of times, especially really early on, it’s, it’s not that you don’t feel or you didn’t feel, it’s just that you weren’t used to being able to have direct access to it and know what that was At the same time. Yeah. You’d say, what do you feel? I’m like, I don’t know. I know what I think. I don’t know what I feel. Where do you feel in your [00:08:00] body? I don’t know. And I don’t e why is that important? Who cares? Right. Right. Uh, now I know why it’s so important. Yeah. And, and I, I love the topic that truth will set you free because one of those truths is what is it that’s going on in your heart, and what is that? How that can actually unlock your truth, how that can actually unlock what it is that needs to come through you more readily. Like you were seeking other things in your life than what you had been able to attain. Right? And this was definitely for you, a missing piece. It’s not always a missing piece, but having that. Heart and mind contact, coherence and connection. Having those pathways open and, and be in increasing balance is, is a beautiful thing. First of all, [00:09:00] it’s not always easy. It’s sometimes messy. Like, I saw your post this morning. Do you wanna talk about that? My husband? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I’m sitting here, you know, so I’m sharing my feelings now, right? I’m sitting here working out, feeling all grateful and joyful. It’s Veteran’s Day and then all of a sudden, uh, my kid’s dad comes to mind and I just started bawling. I. And, uh, what I posted about was how grief, just, you know, so the old Emily would’ve just like gone and found something to do, to stay really busy and not feel that. Mm-hmm. But I let myself cry and I shared about it, so I. I think another thing to back to, you know how it was in January, which was, you know, I took another program called Mental Fitness and I learned to identify this a little bit more once I took that program, but I know you noticed it when I first took it, is that I have a saboteur, a restless saboteur. In my mind that tells me this is boring. Do something else. This is boring. Do something else. Move [00:10:00] here, move here, do that. And I mean, I really wasn’t able to enjoy doing the dishes like that was, I wasn’t able to be in the present moment enough to get some things done. I was just too kind of, I don’t know if hyper is the right word, but I, I couldn’t be in the, and when I did the dishes, I was thinking about, oh, I should be doing this or I should be doing that. Now I can do the dishes and not be thinking about what I should be doing. Just enjoy, just hear, just touch the pottery that my mom made as I put it away, and just be in the present moment. Mm-hmm. And enjoy that. Yeah, and I think what you’re talking about brings up a lot of a number of different points that often go overlooked when we’re using phrasing and terms labels like saboteur or, or what have you. But specifically speaking to that place inside of you that was [00:11:00] restless. I think that when our nervous systems, when some part of us is out of balance, when we don’t have access to our feelings. The, that energy that it’s not, again, it’s not that we don’t feel, it’s that it gets either tucked away, locked behind, some, you know, in the back of the internal closet, submerged, as you have said in some of your posts into the basement. Mm-hmm. Whatever it is for you, it becomes a sort of prison and, and it’s still running through your nervous system. Yeah, underneath things, it comes out sideways. It comes out in different ways, and when it’s running through your nervous system, usually those things that are tucked down or submerged or held back or what, however, whatever that aspect is or cloaked that the reasons for that. Are what still motivates [00:12:00] your behavior, your thinking, your actions. And it create, does create disruptions in your nervous system. And so for some it looks like it could look like restlessness. Mm-hmm. So to me, I don’t even like to, you know, I really look at how, what words we use to describe everything. Mm-hmm. Like saboteur, that’s a negative word. You, well, just for example, like when you say that, About yourself, what happens inside of you? Yeah. You, you could start to believe that. Yeah. You can feel that. Yeah. Do you, you know, to me it’s like, do does that, do you feel more closed down or, or compressed? Like when I was thinking about it, cuz I, I hear you talk about it and I was really just trying it on, you know, like, what does that mm-hmm. Feel like if I, cuz I used to say that. You know, there was a lot of new age lingo about, oh, you’re self sabotaging. It’s like, ugh. It’s such a painful way to me to mm-hmm. Describe it’s such a [00:13:00] harsh way to be with your heart, with Yeah. With, you know, with this, now that I have a deeper understanding of what I was saying about how it’s working its way through your nervous system, it’s trying to work its way up. Mm-hmm. It, it needs movement. Right? Mm-hmm. And, and so it just shows up in different ways. It may be defensiveness, it may be, you know, any range of aspect of fight, flight, freeze. Because that’s what’s running through your nervous system. That’s running through your nervous system. And, and so, but in that mental fitness program, you learn to like switch to more loving and stage. Mm-hmm. And self compassion. And that’s the part of it that I like. Yeah. Clearly the work is wonderful. I just Yeah. Always because words hold so much power mm-hmm. For ourselves. They ha hold our belief systems. They hold different vibrations and they meet. We have stories that relate to them. [00:14:00] Yeah. Yeah. Well, and one of, one of the things that you helped me with is seeing some patterns in my life and how, cause, and we’ll just, I’ll give an example. You, you, I’m sure you remember it because one of the things I told you back in January is that I wanted to create more time for myself. Is that I tend to stay busy and then I create more work for myself. You’ve been working with me on how to make things simpler, how to simplify my, my life, and I’ve gotten so much better at that. But then sometimes things happen to us that we don’t, or things happen in our lives that. Or in a pattern that we don’t really recognize, and sometimes it takes somebody else to see it, like a coach or something, somebody else to see it. So I remember one day I was in our group coaching session and my daughter called, and you know, here I’m in a two hour session and my, I could see her calling on the phone and I didn’t answer it at first, or she texted and I didn’t. Then I looked at the text and she was in some kind of distress. Now my daughter was, 25 at the [00:15:00] time, so, and, and so, but I, she said something that kind of triggered me to feel like I had to really call. And, uh, so I did, and then I, I spent some, I broke away from the session. I spent some time with her, and I came back and I talked to, explained what had happened, and I said, and the explanation, I, she’s fine. I’m not really worried about her. And then you, you called me out on it in a nice way, which I appreciate. You’re like, well, you said Emily at, when you started working with me, that you wanted to create more time and space for yourself. And this coaching session is time and space for yourself, yet you got up. And took that call from your daughter. Mm-hmm. And that enabled me to have a conversation with my daughter to set some different expectations. Mm-hmm. And sometimes, and now sometimes when my daughter calls, she’ll say, you know, because, because I also tend, can tend to, and probably a lot of, uh, especially women can relate to this, I take to tend to take my children’s burdens onto me, even though [00:16:00] they’re not asking me to. Like, she might call and tell me something. And then I just feel it and it weighs me down. And so now she starts the conversation, mom, I just want you to listen. And that just helps me remember, and it helps her, you know, it just helps me remember, I don’t have to take this on. She just needs somebody to talk to. So those are a couple ways that I’ve worked with her and you to create more space in for me. Yeah, and I, I, I think that you, you know, you’re one of probably many, many, many, many thousands of. People who have difficulty saying no. Holding a boundary, yes. Clarifying that that’s okay for me to have this space and time. Oh, if it were an emergency and you really felt like it was an emergency, that’s one thing. But in, in this case, you had talked about this and it was just such a. Interesting shift in you [00:17:00] into that part? It was really early on when we worked together. Yeah. The first month or two. Mm-hmm. And I think it goes deeper than just being able to say no, because if, if you, if it were that easy, I’d say no. You’d should say no. Right. So there’s other parts underneath it, and it’s more, you know, than a boundary and I, than, than just being able to say something. It’s. What are those beliefs way underneath about you taking up space, about you focusing here, not feeding into something with her. That was an enabling perhaps. Mm-hmm. Thing, you know that you’re. Both now able to cre, she’s creating a boundary with you basically by saying I just, and, and saying what she actually needs. Needs. Right, right, right. She’s learning to speak up for what she needs. Right. And that when we, when we are able to [00:18:00] sit in that place in ourselves, we don’t realize when we’re wrapped up in the old pattern. The extent to which we, we kind of try to keep control or take over or fill our own needs with them and when and how unempowering it it is for them. Yeah. Yeah. And this is such a beautiful example of now she’s, she ha not only do you have more space, Right and are are not taking on what’s not yours, but it’s allowing her to have the space and the. You know, whatever that’s allowing for her in this case, being able to say, Hey, I, this is really what I need. I just want you to listen. I want that, you know, she wants that contact and connection. There’s reassurance by talking to your mom. All of those pieces, but you don’t have to take any of it on. Yeah, I know, and [00:19:00] I had done that with my son. Like I, I’ve shared before when you, you know, when he was 23 and he went to the hospital to start to detox from alcohol, I did not leave a class that I was in to go down and be with him because I wanted to send him the signal that. I know you’ve got this. You don’t need your mom to come down. You know, I’ve done as much as I could for him. You don’t need your mom to come down. And he even said on my episode that that was the best thing he’s ever done for me because, you know, it, it had to be him to recover. I couldn’t do any of it. It had to be him. And just like, you know, the issue that my daughter was, Was dealing with, Russ says, boundaries in creating space for yourself is so important. Yes, definitely. Russ important. And he says you’re sharing some good information. Oh, good. Great. Another piece that I wanted to say about it, Emily, is, you know, and, and for people who have had. Things around boundaries one way or another. Either whether you’re a man or a woman. [00:20:00] This is an example in your personal life with your children or these two examples, right? But also we look at how is that showing up in relationship with money? How is that showing up in relationship with bringing in new clients and scheduling? How is that in relationship to, you know, All the different ways that you’re creating that space for yourself and what that actually means for you, and really diving in to all of those areas. Yeah. You know, not just, not just the one, which is awesome. Right. But you know, because you’ve been able to stay working with me for over a longer period of time instead of just. Eight weeks or three months, but over a longer period of time, it really allows to be able to keep working not only with that pattern, but different patterns and how it’s showing up. Right? Yeah. And being [00:21:00] able to shift it in a very deep, internal way so that it really is not, they’re like long lasting changes. That’s true. I mean, some people might hire, you know, invest in a coach for just a few weeks or even eight weeks, but it’s really, you know, I’ve seen investing in more than that in like a year with you, and it is where you get the real transformational results. I mean, you can get some in a short amount of time for sure, but then you’re not able to go as deep into some of the areas, you know? Mm-hmm. So, oh, we’ve got a viewer. I told you. We’ve got people from all over the world. Thank you, Ella. Thank you for joining us. My Paul. Awesome. That’s so cool. I love it. Yeah, it’s cool. I love it. Yeah, it’s exciting to be able to touch people, not just in your own local area, but really. Mm-hmm. Literally, mm-hmm. Internationally. And since I’ve been working with you, Sandy, you know, I’ve started to, [00:22:00] you know, I, I didn’t like sales and I had issues with money and, you know, Russ talks about how, you know, with sales, he, he just looks at it as I’m making new friends and that has really helped me. And some of the things, the mindset that you’ve, you know, helped me with, I mean, cuz I worked for the Navy for 34 years. The Navy told me what I was worth. They paid me what they said I was worth and I never had to sell anything. I mean, I did, you have to sell and influence people and sell ideas. But you know, like my, my income didn’t necessarily depend on it. I had to do a good job. But I, you know, so I guess what I’m saying is I had to work through a lot of like mindset issues on money. I still am and about like, Making the ask, you know, with clients mm-hmm. And telling ’em what I can offer. And, and I also had to believe in myself before I could feel good about making those offers. And now I’m getting more and more clients and it’s so exciting [00:23:00] and I’m not, you know, as I’m not. Nervous or holding myself back. You know, I’ve set goals and I’m taking action every day. And if I get a no, I don’t take it personally. I mean, just so many things have changed. That’s awesome. I, it’s been so much fun and beautiful to watch that and one of the conversations that we. Had and that we talked about, especially in relation to Veterans Day. I wanna bring up, if that’s okay with you. Yep. Because it relates to an older pattern we were talking about in one of our groups about relationship with money, different aspects with that. And about our story, you know, our gifts, our strengths, our stories, and one of the things that storytelling is a strong source of power. Absolutely. Totally. And one of the things that came up is that you didn’t wanna share about some of your, you felt very uncomfortable sharing about some of your [00:24:00] achievements with the military. Yeah. Fair. And you, the word pride came up, oh, it’s prideful, it’s bo. Like a lot of different words came up around that prideful, boastful, all these stories around it. And when we really unpack that, like the shift in that one day was so gorgeous to watch and this is what happens. It’s like when you. Tap into the key of it and it turns it literally. I mean, this is to me such a beautiful example of unlocking a truth from inside of you that you can stand in your strengths and those gifts and, and have a, what I call a healthy sense of pride. Right. And, and in thinking about that again, I was wondering, I have some questions for you that I think would be interesting if that Okay. And then be on the spot, guys. I have no idea what she’s gonna ask. [00:25:00] And, and that is like, just questions like, yeah. I always like to look at, well, how does this work in the moment while we’re talking about it, but how is this really affecting. All the different parts of your life that you’re really wanting to be able to change and step out into. Right. And in this case it was with clients. So when you were holding that story about not being able to share these beautiful, powerful achievements and stories that go along with them. Right. And, and what are some of the ways that it held you back from. You know, for instance, where you are now being able to seek, get more clients, being able to ask for more money, being able to put yourself out there and connect with so many people through, you know, through your work. So when you were holding that sense of pride and that older story, how is that [00:26:00] not letting you come out more? It was, it was not letting me see, take credit for my accomplishments, and it was not letting me see how my past work. Contributes to what I can do now for, you know, for, so, you know, I was thinking, hi Elizabeth. I was thinking to myself, well, I was worked for the Navy for 34 years, put all that behind me. It doesn’t even apply to coaching. I don’t need to share any of my accomplishments from the Navy because I’m doing something completely different now, so it doesn’t even apply. Therefore I don’t have to brag and, and share anything that says that I’m accomplished. Yeah, yeah. So, so those places of. You know, I think, I think it does relate in some ways to our sense of worth to our sense of [00:27:00] value. You know, like what, you know, what is it that we’re valuing at different times about different things in relation to different areas of our lives and, and I think also, you know, it’s such an interesting contrast for you. Because your story’s about, we had a conversation recently about sitting at the table with men in very high positions. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. It’s like you can do that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I can do that. That’s easy. I can speak up and do that and learn so much about, you know, how you word things. That was such an interesting conversation, you know, to hear you say, you know, I learned that if I said things this way, Then it was so much more effective than if I said it that way in that particular setting. Right. You want me to explain that? Yeah. Yeah. I was in the, I was at a table with the, uh, undersecretary of the Navy and I was at, I had a seat at the table and we were talking about something that wasn’t really in relation to my actual [00:28:00] job, but I had a comment to say, based on all of my experience, and I. Said something at the same time, a Navy admiral said something and I outranked that admiral, but you couldn’t tell because of my clothes. And he was wearing a uniform, they wear their rank on the sleeve and I said, excuse me, to make a point. And he just made his point and he got to make his point. And I didn’t. And so that, you know, helped me. I was aware. You have to be aware and you have to be able to observe and. Reflect on that. And at that moment, the next time I made a comment, I just said what I wanted to say. I’m not gonna say, excuse me. Women tend to say, excuse me. And for men who are here, know that and encourage them to get, take a seat at the table. If you, whenever you go back to work, you may notice that there’s empty seats at the table and a lot of times the women are sitting around on the on the side. So I had an assigned seat at the table, but I’m just saying speak up. [00:29:00] Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And, and for you to be able to use those skills in that inner sense of clarity and, you know, some people could call it a centeredness, a confidence mm-hmm. In your coaching with your clients. Mm-hmm. Yeah. As well as bringing people in. I mean, I think that, that, that is such a beautiful. Potent important skill, skill range. It’s such an interesting place to find those areas of, you know, the the ways in which you can find your power inside yourself without creating. You know, resistance, you know, not always possible, but when we hold that place inside of ourselves where we have a desire to enhance the relationship, where we have that desire to [00:30:00] continue in relationship and not just make a defensive boundary is just very, very different. Which closes and pushes people away. Mm-hmm. Which is what a lot of people think. Boundaries. Is all about. Right. Right. But what you were doing is very different. Yep. Yeah. It’s a different kind of boundary. It is really important. So then, you know, one day you required me to turn my camera, but I, I like to show my bookshelf. Isn’t it nice? Well, I saw something behind you, like the camera either moved or I was noticing something behind you and I was like, I asked her asking you questions and I was like, I know that this isn’t your favorite thing to do, but you do have them up on the wall, so can we see them? Yeah. They were in my mom’s basement, so I pulled them out. Yeah. So then Sandy made me sh oh, Sandy made me show these awards and everything, and she made me explain [00:31:00] about them to her. Well, I didn’t make you do anything. I asked. Oh yeah, you, you provided me to, and then I noticed when I was ex, when I was telling you all about ’em, I got all excited. I did. It was so, I, I guess I am, you know, I am proud of what, uh, of what those awards represent. So can you give us a brief. Overview of those four beautiful awards with medals behind you. Ok, so a brief overview. This one is a superior civilian service award. And I got it from Secretary Mavis, Ray Mavis, who was the Secretary of the Navy at the time in 2016. And it’s not just me. Of course, whenever you, you know, work, you typically have a team. So it’s a team of people that helped get this award. So I’m not taking all the. Credit. This one is from 2005. It’s a meritorious civilian service metal. That was from when I was [00:32:00] the contracting officer on the eight 60 helicopter, which is an anti-submarine warfare helicopter does some other things too, but I didn’t actually buy the helicopter, but I was the contracting officer for everything that went on that helicopter, including installing a new cockpit in the helicopter. So Sikorsky at the time. Was a separate company from Lockheed Martin and Sikorski delivered the helicopter to Lockheed and Lockheed put a a cockpit into it. And so I used to think, what’s so hard about buying the helicopter or the stuff that goes in it, it’s really challenging, negotiating those contracts. So that’s what this one’s from. This one. Before you go on to that, I, I just wanna say the stories that you told about all the different intricacies about that. At some point, I think, you know, write, write an article or write a series of articles or something, or do podcast about it because they’re amazing. It’s amazing like the [00:33:00] intricacies. Of what went on in those negotiations. Yeah. And I don’t negotiations or not, but Yeah. But just in terms of your process around it, I think it’s, you know, it helps to show your range of skills also. And you do get very excited when you talk about it. Yeah. It was fun. It just loved it. And a lot of times, you know, the only woman in the room and you’re, you know, having negotiations with the engineers at Lockheed and. The logisticians and different people about how many hours it would take to, you know, and the price of these cockpits. And there’s so many subcontractors and just so much that has to go into buying an airplane. It wa it was, I really loved being a contracting officer. I didn’t like doing the spreadsheets and stuff, but I liked the negotiations and awarding contracts and getting stuff delivered to the fleet. And when we awarded that common cockpit contract, it was like, Midnight on December 31st. I mean, it was like at the [00:34:00] end of December late and the money was gonna expire the next day, but we didn’t get this thing awarded. So that was like, I think it was a 450 million contract, and that was in 2005. So it was a big contract that we had to get awarded. This one was from when I was at the small business office at the Naval Air Systems Command heading up the the office that helped provide opportunities for small businesses to participate in naval aviation. You know, what can small businesses provide? It’s not just the Lockheeds and the Boeings and the big companies, but where can small businesses contribute to supporting the war fighters mission? And then this one, This one is a distinguished civilian service award, and that is for when I was the director of the Department of Navy’s Office of Small Business Programs. And again, I mean, in one year we obligated or were put on contract, 2 billion more to small businesses than we had in the previous year. [00:35:00] So we clearly created. A ton of opportunities for small businesses to participate. I think that year we went from 14 to 16 billion. Wow. To small businesses just as prime contractors. And so that award represents the work that just about everybody in the Navy did awarding contracts. Making the time to create opportunities for small businesses to participate. And then you wanted me to show you said, alright, I show my flag. I don’t have a flag full. I’m not gonna buy one, but this is the flag that was in my office and this flag represents that I was a member of this civilian executive service. So, which is admiral equivalent in the Navy as a civilian. So that was a flag that hung in my office. And, uh, then we can talk about this book, Sandy. Yeah, so I, I put this book. Well, someone [00:36:00] said, this is a fascinating dive into coaching and self scrutiny. Thank you to both strong, brave, beautiful women. Yeah. I wanted to share, you know, I had two, I offered some free coaching sessions and two people I met with yesterday that had never had coaching, um, never experienced it before. And they’re like, wow, this is, this is what coaching’s like, you know, why would. Why would I, as a retired senior executive admiral equivalent from the Navy, why would I invest in Sandy for a year? Because I, there’s still ways that I can improve. I can do all that stuff, but there’s still areas of my life that I wanna improve. I wanna create a life I love living, and that means I’m not interested in the status quo. I’m interested in improving myself. I’m interested in self mastery. That’s what I’m interested in. Alex says, A lot of times we think that the things we do could have been done by anyone that causes us to undervalue our skills and efforts. I fall into that [00:37:00] trap. Yeah, you’re right Alex. I look forward to seeing you in Denver too. Haven’t met you before. Yeah. So, um, Yeah. And thanks. Thank you. And, and I also wanna say what I see in you, and I’ve heard you express, in addition to what you just said, is that you want to see others be able to do similar things, right? Yeah. That’s what I wanna help, right? Like, I wanna help, you know, Sandy’s a coach, I’m a coach, you know, we all wanna, we wanna help and you’ve gotta find them. If you want to work with a coach, find somebody that with whom you resonate, you know? Yeah. Might resonate with Sandy. You might resonate with me. We both know me, a lot of coaches, we’ll help. We don’t wanna work with somebody that we don’t resonate with, so we’ll help you find a coach if that’s what you’re looking for. But if you want to accelerate results in your life, yes, you can read books. I spent a lot of time reading books. In fact, one, one day, I don’t remember when it was. It’s probably 15 years [00:38:00] ago. I posted all these books that I had on organizing and I said, why am I not organized? I’ve read all these books. That’s what coaching will help you figure out. Right, and it goes back to what we started out talking about. Like when you’re in your head and you love to learn. Mm-hmm. You will. Take, you know, read, read, read or take classes, but not necessarily unlock what’s been holding you back from being able to do that. Organizing or being able to Right. Or being able to do the things that you really wanna do. So, yeah. Right. This might be a good time to put in some of the links. Yes. If people do want to get started with that, you can contact me at one Heart. Healing center and this link in the chat too. Yeah. So this link, um, is for a discovery session, which I also call, call a before [00:39:00] and after consult because it looks at where are you now before working with me. And where would you like to be in. If we were to work together or, you know, really uncovering and discovering what’s been keeping you locked in, in, you know, you know, finding, really digging into finding out what that those either dreams, desires, the vision, and a lot of people don’t know what the actual vision is. Mm-hmm. That’s part of what that process can help open up and uncover. It’s, it’s so powerful to be able to really find what that is for you and be able to unpack and open that in that even just initial conversation, you would, you learn so much. Oh yes. Just that conversation, initial conversation, right? Yes. And so then what you want evolves, because, you know, if you go to my website, uh, right [00:40:00] here, which is where I have some coaching it things, my website says something like, You know, my life got ba, my dreams got buried under a mound of responsibilities. I didn’t know what I wanted. I had never even taken a step back to say, what do I dream? What would I wanna create in my life? And a lot of times we think I would love to have this in my life. But I can’t because this, this, and this. And then the thing is, stop right there. What if you could, why can’t you? What are those limiting beliefs that you’ve taken on? Uh, how do you know you can’t? And so what I wanted to create in my life, slowing down, being, I didn’t know what this meant, but I knew that I wanted to do less and be more. But I really didn’t even know how to be. And now Sandy said, and I’ve said my drug of choice was being busy. And now Sandy has said, and it’s true, my drug of choice is time for me, and I’ve created so much more time for me. But even the other day, I [00:41:00] told Sandy, I want to create more time for me. I wanna look at some of the things I’m doing that I can. Give to somebody else. Like I got a bookkeeper with Sandy pushing me, um, and I’m like, well, I don’t, I can’t have a bookkeeper yet because I have to get, do all this stuff and I have to get everything organized. She said, no, you don’t. Cause that was a limiting belief. No, you don’t. That’s maybe how bookkeeping worked years ago. So I have a bookkeeper. Now this stuff’s straight. I haven’t had to do under one thing into a spreadsheet, which has helped create me time. And then I’m like, well, I want to go camping. I want to not work on Mondays and Fridays. I wanna have my clients on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. And even if you’re working for an employer, this applies to you now. Have you ever thought how you want your day to be structured? Not only how you want your day to be structured, but. Really how you want to create that day within what it is that you’re [00:42:00] doing. And I think that that is something that many, most perhaps people don’t really understand that the extent to which we really are in the driver’s seat, even if you’re working. For someone else. Right, right. There’s, there’s certain things when you’re, when you’re your own boss, when you’re self-employed, when you’re an entrepreneur, a solopreneur that you need to, that. Flush up that where you’ll be stretching. But the same principles really do apply when you’re working for someone else. Some of the times when I meet with Sandy and group coaching, I paint. Mm-hmm. And, and this, some of these pictures, things that I painted, Sandy was nice. Uh, it’s hard to see, but she gave me a, a book, she made a book of my paintings and sent it to me for my birthday. But this, my word for last year was I had two words. I am conscious alignment. And I said, I am confidence, freedom, [00:43:00] peace, love, kindness. And you may not feel that you are that a hundred percent, but write it down. Make that de declaration. Make that statement live that way. Every day and you’ll start to believe it more and more, and then you’ll start to be it. Right? Right. And that what’s on the cover was actually from an exercise, I think it was one of the first things in the coaching group that I walked you guys through in January of last year really about reflecting on the previous year. Yep. And looking forward. Like gathering pieces from the previous year and what you wanted to bring forward into the, into the upcoming year and, and walked you through a whole series of things. And one of the things that I love to do is either people are writing and journaling or. Taking that, you know, into using watercolors because it changes your [00:44:00] experience of what you’re writing when you either doodle and or paint and draw. So yeah. So these are some of the things that, from different classes and exercises that Emily was painting. And I think because you started with me with a watercolor class that, and, and you had done watercolor before. Yeah. You have really. Continue that through the program, which is so cool. And on the back you put my hearts, which these are the hearts that I was in Sandy’s class painting these hearts did not know that the insurrection was happening at the exact same time. Right. We had had class that morning and of course, so we were in class, we had no idea what was going on anywhere else. And the, the, it. Just so happened synchronistically, that we were connecting with different desires that were coming up through your own heart, and I was suggesting people paint [00:45:00] hearts with different colors and was leading them through a whole series of things. And so that’s what came up for Emily, which Emily was just so profound the timing of that. Ebis is Sandy’s horse and today I, I believe it’s today is an anniversary with your horse, Sandy. So that’s ebis. And now you can’t really see him as clearly because light, which is perfect because two years ago today he passed away at the age of 37. I had had him for 32 years and you know, He, one of the things how I started in all of this work is I was a horseback riding instructor and a trainer of horses and, and when I got ebis, no, it’s 34 years ago, I guess doing that math correctly, he really helped me to, [00:46:00] Deepen a contact into my heart and literally over time, break open so many different defenses, so many different aspects of myself, and learning how to connect and communicate so much more deeply and fully and, and that opened the doors into doing body work and energy work with horses and riders, and going to a four year professional healing school with. Humans and doing, uh, talent and te touch and working with many different, what a lot of people call woo woo stuff. But you know, part of what opened up was a depth of communication between us that assisted me, not only in my own life and with him, but with other animals. And then being able to do that professionally with other people and. He helped me develop a lot of the work literally that I now [00:47:00] do. And for some people the connections and the, the pathway may seem quite odd. You know, if you just look at, oh, I do. Life and business coaching. How does that relate to being a horseback riding instructor and training horses? But the thread is the connection with animals and anybody who has animals knows how deeply they touch our hearts. And there’s per. Yes. And how much we can learn. One of the things that I always say is the extent, the depths to which they show us are capacity for love and connection. Mm-hmm. And, and part of the journey is, Being able to have that with our work, with money, with other people, you know, in all the different areas of our lives. And so that you can create really what [00:48:00] the depth and breadth and scope of what you desire and what you’re meant to do, you know, so that you can step into that and access that highest. Not only vision of yourself, but really what is locked in everybody’s d n a. Like we all have the capacity. We just don’t all use it. Yeah, we don’t all use it. That’s something, you know, I told you that today and tomorrow I’m in this all day spiritual immersion class and it’s, it’s about how we are humans in a, we are spiritual, um, beings in a human body and. We have connection to we’re all one, and we have that connection to the consciousness, universal consciousness, and you are able to connect. Somebody might say that’s woowoo, but you’re able to connect with your horse. [00:49:00] Ebis and ebis gives you a lot of insight. Yeah. Ed continues and that’s, yeah. You know, he called himself the connector and the trans transformer of hearts still does, and the connection continues. So a lot of people, when we have somebody, whether it’s a person or an animal who dies, we feel like. We’re very aware of the, the break in the way in which we’re used to connecting and the animals have shown me truly, cause I had a lot of deaths growing up. It was very difficult and challenging and, uh, lot, many, many years of deep grief that was unresolved. And it’s really through the animals and ironically through many of my animals passing that this ability to connect with them. After they’ve passed over ca started to [00:50:00] come out and that, that has made all the difference in my life, you know, and. And I am still in training with him. One could look at it that way cuz I still learn all the time from and with him. Yeah, someone says, our teachers will find us Very grateful to you both. For her. Oh, Deborah, you know Deborah? Hi, Deborah. Deborah’s my neighbor who said, oh, I know Sandy. She’s teaching this course, and so thank you Deborah for that. Deborah and I went out to dinner last night. We had Oh, you did? Oh, nice. Mm-hmm. Aw. Yeah. Deborah used to come over and. I met Deborah, uh, because she came over and helped take care of my animals when I was, when I would go away, and she knew EBIS pretty well. Mm-hmm. Mm. Awesome. Well, anything else that you had wanted to [00:51:00] talk about, about finding your truth, something that came through today? Actually, It’s, it’s an extension of what we’ve been talking about, something that came through. I, I took time off because it was a two year anniversary of, of Evie’s passing. I wanted to take some special time for myself and so I blocked off that time and I knew that we were talking this afternoon and as I was wa I went to the ocean, which is one of my favorite things to do. And as I was walking, I was really moved by, I was thinking about different kindnesses and acts of compassion, just small, seemingly small things that people had been doing during the day today and how deeply touched I was, you know, so my emotions, you know, a little bit perhaps more cracked open than perhaps other days or months because it’s an anniversary and, [00:52:00] and I was just thinking about how kindness. Like just saying something kind to, something, really seeing and listening deeply to somebody and appreciating them, not just on a superficial level, but really on a, a very deep level can just set something free in your heart. And that got me thinking about, oh, that’s a way kindness and compassion for ourselves. Is not always as easy as it is to be kind and compassionate towards somebody else, and how that really truly is a way to set some truths free inside of yourself. Like that kindness can actually unlock and free your heart. That’s really true. Yeah. Yeah. And I, one of the things that I, I didn’t do, I, I [00:53:00] used to think it was cuz I was working for the Navy and I didn’t have time, is I didn’t really have a lot of deep conversations or anything. But now that I see it wasn’t cuz of the Navy, it wasn’t because of an outside circumstance. It was because of it was me. Mm-hmm. And it took me changing my way of being and. Creating that space so that I could have those conversations. We tend to, I think, look at our circumstances and say, well, it’s because of that, that I’m this way, or that I can’t do whatever. Or, you know, if my employees would just, you know, work harder if my husband would just be nicer or whatever. The only thing we can change is ourselves. So when we look in. In our, into ourselves and our own heart and start to change, then our circumstances change and our world changes and our relationships [00:54:00] change. That’s where it starts. That’s why. I have coaches. Yes, me too. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And and the other thing is, and if you’re gonna invest in a coach, invest in a coach who is also being coached, cuz it’s so important, even coaches get coaching. Right? Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Do you wanna put the link up again in case you wanna set up a consult with me? This is Sandy’s website, one heart healing center.com Uhhuh. And this is if you want to set up a, a free discovery call with her And that’s like what, 45 minutes or an hour? Yeah, 45 minutes to an hour. And even if you don’t end up. You know, working with her, you’re gonna learn so much about yourself. Yes. But, and you’ll probably end up working with her. And, and I just wanna say also as I’m looking at this Absolutely. One of the most spectacular sunsets we’ve had in ages, um, I wish you could see it like the range of [00:55:00] colors is phenomenal. Is that, You know, we’re in November and we’re approaching the end of the year, and so yes, there’s the holidays, but as we approach that end of the year, we’re also approaching the start of another year and no matter where you live, it has been quite the year. Plus. Mm-hmm. For people, and it’s like, do you actually want the next year to be different? Do you want it to be whatever you want it to be, regardless of the circumstances you’re in? Regardless of what’s happening in the world, and I think that’s really what I love helping people come into, you know, the, those places inside of themselves where you find those truths, you find those connections, which leads to confidence and belief in [00:56:00] yourself, and which opens your own doors. And you know, for some, just setting up that appointment might be a vulnerable and courageous action. Mm-hmm. Right? Yep. But you’re worth it. Thank you all for watching. I appreciate everybody who joined us live and for everybody who listens to this later, when I publish it as a regular podcast. And to everybody who watches the replay, Sandy, and I appreciate you. Yes, very much so. Thank you. And thank you, Emily. Thanks to everybody who’s been joining in and, uh, remember you can. Listen to this over again if you want to reconnect into that uplifting state, which I really highly recommend. Yeah, that’s a really good point. That’s one thing I like about when you do your coaching is you, um, send us the replay so [00:57:00] we can, you know, cuz sometimes when you’re in the middle of coaching and I do one-on-one and group with you, you don’t, everything doesn’t always click. So it’s good to go back and, and listen to it again. Oh yeah. You’ll start hearing things. It’s like. Wait, wait. I didn’t hear that that day. Said that. Yeah. Remember that was a really good point. That happens over and over. Yeah. Deepening so many awesome takeaways in this episode. I’ll name just a few. Kindness can unlock your heart. Owning your accomplishments and talking about them is not bragging women. Take your seat at the table. And men, make sure women get their seat and take their seat at the table. We talked about why investing in a coach is a good idea, and we talked about being intentional and how we’re living our lives. How are you creating your life? Are you living the life that you [00:58:00] love? And that changes as we get older, as circumstances change. But we have more control over our lives than sometimes we think we can design, create, and live a life we love living. What’s holding you back? Both Sandy and I are coaches. Reach out to one of us if you, if you don’t resonate with us, like we said in the interview, we will help you find a coach. That is what has accelerated my success. And I wish the same for you. Let’s move onward together.