Applying Mental Fitness to Your Relationships with Bill Carmody

[00:00:00] That level of appreciation when you appreciate another person, it also has the benefit of bringing you back to gratitude, and so even if you’re frustrated, even if things aren’t going well, even if there’s parts of the relationship you’d like to improve by starting with gratitude, you are much more likely to be able to affect change.

Then coming at a person and telling them all the reasons they’re wrong or they’re bad, or that they’re not doing things that they expect. Yeah, right. All of that is coming from that negative saboteur space. But the sage is enrolled when you are in gratitude, and this helps keep you in gratitude. Welcome to Onward Live, a live stream focused on encouraging you to create a life you love living.

Now, let’s go beyond success to significance. Being clear on our why is crucial. It requires doing the inner work, finding ourselves, getting to know ourselves, embracing our inner child, [00:01:00] shedding social conditioning, and letting go of perfect. We know obstacles make us stronger. We can dream big and take action.

Believe you can, and you’re halfway there. I invite you to tune in every week and engage with me and my inspiring guests. Invite your friends, let’s make time for what matters most in our lives. Let’s move onward together. Hi everybody. It’s Emily. I’m so excited to be here tonight. If you’re new to the show, you may not know that that’s a really new intro.

My editor just finished it like first thing this morning and we’re, we have a few little things we wanna make changes to, but I’m really happy of that. It highlights some of my past guests and. And you might also realize that I’ve changed the name of the show. It used to be the Onward podcast, but now I’m calling it Onward Live, and I’ve kind of tied all of my branding in together to be all about creating a [00:02:00] life you love living.

Now, if you know a little bit about me, you’ve heard me say this before, but I am a, uh, retired senior executive from the Navy and also a retired naval officer. And when I retired, I called it a graduation. I’m like, yes, I’m, I’m ready to, to do what I want, which is what do I want? Who am I? Oh, and then I figured out I wanna be a coach and I wanna be a podcast host.

And, and then I get, I choke up when I talk about it still. And then about three weeks after I retired, my daughter called and she said, mom, dad has cancer. Two weeks after that we were divorced, but still, he’s my kid’s dad. Two weeks after that. And he was paralyzed in both arms and he and he, and he died five months later and I saw him die with regrets.

I know he wished he had lived his life differently. He didn’t talk about it a lot. That’s why. I started talking all about creating a life you love [00:03:00] living now. Because it made me realize I, well, I wanna create a life. I love living Now I’ve got his files here still, and some of his, he had like three folders on retirement.

What he was gonna do when he retired, he didn’t get to retire. So we wait sometimes. Well, when this happens or that happens, And that’s why I say let’s create a life we love living. Now what can you do today that you really love? What, how can you be? How can you create a life you love living now? So that’s just a little bit about me.

Now I’m getting ready to bring my guest in. So I want you guys to know too, this is a very, I, I don’t have a producer for my show right now. Well, actually I do. She’s my dog and she’s asleep in the back. So I sometimes say that she’s my producer. I’m new at Stream. I mean, at Restream I’ve done Stream Air before.

I’m doing Restream, and we’ve got some of these overlays, which, you know, I, I love ’em. It has a picture of my guests and everything, so, I’m sure there’ll be [00:04:00] some glitches during this show, but I’m just so excited that everybody’s here and I’m excited to introduce to you Bill Carmody, my guest. So let me b bring Bill on.

Bill, welcome. I’m gonna move you over here. Thank Emily. Thank you for having me on your show. This is so fun. Yeah, I’m, I’m excited. So, you know, I’ve been working with you for the past year or so. You know, you’re the head of Coaching for Positive Intelligence, which you oversee the application of mental fitness for thousands of coaches worldwide, you and Shazad, and you do a lot of the coaching in the area of.

Business development. And that’s, uh, completely understandable. Based on, I’ve got your bio here, reading everything that you’ve done, you’ve had some epic adventures. Top 100 sales influencers, standing next to Tony Robbins as he rang the opening bell for nasdaq. Wow. You dropped 50 pounds. You finished in the top 50% in your first, is that a [00:05:00] typo?

A hundred Iron man. I know 140.6 mile irony. It’s not a typo. It’s not a typo. That’s, that’s a 2.2 mile swim, 112 mile bike, and then a full 26.2 mile marathon. That’s what that is. That’s insane. Yeah. And then you were even flown to Brazil to interview Sir. Sir Rich and Richard Branson. Yeah. So you’ve done so much.

You’ve started companies, but I like what you’ve got in your bio about the purpose of your life is to be an inspirational leader who solves problems and creates breakthroughs for himself and others. And you’re doing that for all of these PQ coaches. I really thank you. Oh, thank you, Emily. I appreciate it and I really appreciate you helping me get the word out here.

It’s so, it’s a, it’s a honor and a privilege to be able to speak with you tonight and to share with so many people the work that we’re all up to. So, and thank you for being part of our whole PQ coach community. I mean, you’re, you’re spreading that mental fitness, uh, expertise into the world, and thank you for doing that.

[00:06:00] Afternoon, amazing career of, of, of the Navy and, and unbelievable service to the country. Thank you for all that you have already done and that you continue to do. You’re an inspiration. Thanks. Thanks. Uh, I’m looking at the people that are here. Tim says, thanks for being so vulnerable and cha sharing your story.

Yeah, and I’m gonna be on Tim’s live stream in a few. I think next week talking about, uh, cancer. He’s got one on cancer, so we just have so many people tuning in. Debbie says ease and flow. Yeah, I’m working on ease and flow. How many PQ reps do you get for that? Yeah. So let’s talk, well, what’s a PQ rep?

What’s positive intelligence? I mean, we’re talking here about applying mental fitness to your relationships. Talk to us about that bill. In its most simplest capacity, the definition of mental fitness is your capacity to respond to life’s challenges with positive, that rather than a negative mindset, it impacts peak performance, peace of mind, wellness, and healthy relationships.

And today, I really wanna spend most of our time talking about healthy [00:07:00] relationships. It’s something that I think is near and dear to well, everyone’s heart, because essentially we are a connected, interconnected human beings, and we really thrive on those connections. And so having powerful relationships is one of the greatest benefits of being mentally fit.

So I really wanted to use this time an opportunity to dig into that a little further. Yeah, that, that’s awesome because mental, this mental fitness can apply to so many aspects of our lives. Yeah. You know, parenting relationships, how, how we handle, you know, how we, um, I don’t know at work how we handle ourselves.

So this isn’t just relationships with our family, it’s relationships with work. If you’re a salesperson, how do you do, how do you do sales? It, it applies in so many different areas of our lives. But this, tonight we’re focusing on relationships. Yes. And I remember at one point you talked about how, because I resonated with it, you talked about how you weren’t [00:08:00] the the best at relationships.

In your, in your career. Yes, that’s correct. Can you I resonated with that. Yeah. It’s interesting because, we’ll, we’ll, we’ll da we’ll talk about different types of relationships and there is your primary relationship, which can be coupling or, uh, marriage or you know, any type of, of form of your primary relationship.

There is work relationships, which you’re asking about right now. And then of course there’s friendships and there’s the casual relationships that we have and even. Uh, these tiny relationships that we have just standing in line at a grocery store. There’s all kinds of different dynamics here, and this applies to all of it.

And what I’d realized in my own mental fitness training was that my top two saboteur voices in my head, besides the judge were my, my controller and my, and my hyper achiever. And I think part of what I realized in how I damaged relationships was that when my. The negative self-talk really got in my head and I was interacting with people at my [00:09:00] company.

I noticed that I was really just focusing fixated on the outcome at all costs. And so what that meant was I was very successful at building and scaling businesses. The downside was is that I was really railroading anyone who got my way. And so from that perspective, it really didn’t build strong relationships.

And, you know, it was sad to me that, you know, after I exited my, my second multimillion dollar marketing agency, I realized, right, I just hadn’t developed or cultivated relationships that I could have during that time. And that there’s a lot of people who I had felt like I had even alienated or estranged in the ways that I handled those relationships.

And it was the absolute opposite of what I wanted in my life, but it was something for me to really take a look at. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I related to that because, you know, and I’ve read the book that sh, this is the book, positive Intelligence, and it talks in there about how hyper achieve people who have the hyper achiever saboteur tend to be really focused on outcomes and [00:10:00] relate and.

You know, feelings, relationships are kind of a nuisance cuz they get in our way from just let’s get it done. And then that’s, that’s how I was, let’s get it done. Let’s check. All right, check that off. Let’s move on to the next thing. And then I also have a restless saboteur, which I really didn’t realize. I thought it was more the hyper achiever.

I just wanna get a whole bunch of stuff done, but my restless make has me doing this, then this, then this and this and going crazy. And then you add in the, the pleaser. Yes. And yeah, it was so challenging and so it’s just eye-opening to take that assessment that you can take on on the Positive Intelligence website and learn about yourself.

Um, Yeah, that was, that was the first thing for me was to really see exactly where, what was driving me. So, so I think what was fascinating about the relationship aspect for me was the understanding that, you know, when I sort of went to that place of control, it was in fact alienating and it was alienating at [00:11:00] every level.

And I think that was the part for me is I wasn’t allowing, My team members to show up fully in their own self cuz they were really concerned about what I would think. And so they were constantly editing themselves to rig, make sure that, that I didn’t, you know, railroad them. And, and that was one of those things where we didn’t have healthy conflict.

It was really one of those, you know, real, I was driving an outcome and anyone who got in that way would, would suffer the consequences. And I think what ends up happening is, is that when I first learned about this work, I thought, but wait, I got all these things done. You know, look at all, look at all the things I accomplished.

How could this be bad? We had to take a step back and look at like, what was the, the carnage that I had created, what were all the damage and damages that I created in all the relationships that I had over my career and what that would mean. And so really to see the ability to still have as good or greater outcomes.

With ease and flow in a way that would actually create powerful, long-lasting relationships. Now, that was very appealing to me. The [00:12:00] ability to not just have that active drive, but to channel it in a way that was productive, healthy, and supportive of the relationships that I wanted to have in my life.

Yeah, and I, and I remember just thinking, this is the way life is. I mean, work is hard. Yeah. You just have to keep pushing through. It’s just hard. This is the way, no pain, no gain. Right. Yeah. And I also thought, you know, well, too bad those people don’t like me. We’re getting stuff done. That’s right. I’m not, I wanted them to lighten me cuz I have this pleaser, but I didn’t really know how, cuz I wanted to be approachable and I wasn’t a, you know, terrible person or anything, but I can just see it.

I wanted to be approachable. But my energy in the books Za talks about, uh, neuro, neuro neurons, right? Mirror neurons. Yes. My energy prevented that. So you can say something that you want or that you wanna be, or I’m approachable. But people can pick up on if you really are. [00:13:00] That’s right. That’s right. And, and, and, and in the mirror neurons, it’s really about understanding what’s being reflected back.

So if I’m happy and I’m smiling, you know, it’s your mirror neurons are gonna fire and you’ll start to feel happier and smile more. But if I’m angry and I’m upset and I’m frustrated her, you know, it drink brings people down. Right. So this idea that. As, as empathetic creatures, we’re constantly looking at sort of our surroundings and we’re looking at the people we’re spending time with.

And based on that, we’re now reflecting back what we’re experiencing, whether we know it or not. Right. And so, you know, it, it, it, it, a lot of times as the ceo, one of the things I thought was like, I thought I was a pretty good actor holding down my frustrations and all activity. I was terrible. The pe I was read like a book, everyone could see what was going on.

And every time I’d show up, People would react based on my mood swings. And that’s a terrible way to run a company. It’s a terrible way to have, there was no culture. It was so many things that I left off that I [00:14:00] really just missed the, missed the mark on. And that for me was the first coming of understanding of what were the damages that I created to create the outcomes that I was committed to having in my life.

And oh my God is, I’m so glad there’s a better way. And that was really the awakening of, okay, well what else is possible? Yeah, and I think that, I think too, that I’ve seen this, you probably have too. You know, you come from one, as a leader, you come from one meeting, you go to the other and you might bring that stress into the room from the other meeting, and everyone’s sitting there, they pick up on that.

It changes the whole dynamic of that meeting. So here we have a comment relationship with self, Carla. Thank you, Carla. That’s exactly right. Yeah. And it’s even, it’s funny when I’m saying all these things about the different relationships, you know, that’s an easy one to miss because we forget about the conversations we’re having with about ourselves to ourselves, and that’s probably the most important relationship given the fact that if I don’t have a good relationship with myself, how could I possibly expect to have this [00:15:00] materialize into anything?

That is productive with other people. So Carla, thank you for that great reminder. Appreciate it. Yeah, thanks Carla. So we’re going to, you know, today one of the things that we’re talking about is you have written a book and it’s called The Three Rules of Marriage and there’s your website. Yeah.

Yes. And you were gonna talk about how like positive intelligence can help impact, um, Marriage. And first, can you explain, all right, I said positive intelligence, some people you know, so explain how positive intelligence works with the term mental fitness. Yeah, so really early on in Shea’s work, it was a concept around what is a way for people to understand the outcome of positive intelligence?

So when you have positive intelligence, what is that? It’s being mentally fit. So the concept of mental fitness was derived by [00:16:00] looking at what is the positivity and how, what is the outcome of positivity? And really what it comes down to is if you think about the neuroscience. Behind our brains. Our brains were not wired to make us happy or even productive.

Our brains were wired to keep us safe. So if, if it, if the, the bushes were rustling right? You know, it was, it paid to run away to be terrified, to be in fear. And that negative energy actually helped us survive as a species 10,000 years ago. But now as we sit there like our, our lizard brains, the br, the foundations of our limbic system, what actually we see today that stays today to protect us and keep us safe.

And at the same time, it’s at the detriment of our happiness, our actual emotional. Intelligence, all of the work that’s behind what we’re talking about here. It’s, it’s, that is the thing we’re looking to shift. And so when we shift from a negative to a positive mindset, it actually opens up new possibilities because we’re no longer being driven by fear or [00:17:00] negative response.

We’re being focused by what is else is possible in a positive state. And so from that perspective, it allows us to see things we may not have seen if we were just coming from a place of fear and uh, and trying to keep everything the same. Got it. Got it. All right, so let’s get to your book, the Three Rules of Marriage.

Yeah. Tell Why did you write that book? So this was a celebration. So my wife and I have been married now for 21 years. So on our 20th wedding anniversary. You know, I really wanted to use this as a way to launch the foundation for what had created such a a, a blissful marriage for my wife and I. And just as a little bit of background, I started, I grew up in a divorce household when I was 12 years old and my parents got divorced.

It was a defining moment for me because I really was. Looking at this, I, I was thinking that my parents would be together forever. There was no reason for me to believe that that wasn’t the case. So I didn’t see it coming right. I was total blindside and I realized as much as I, at the time [00:18:00] was tr as traumatized by the experience, I knew it was the best gift my father ever gave me was to divorce my mom because the two of them were not happy.

And they were not in a place where they were really living their best lives. As a child, you just want your parents to be together, right? So you want them to be there. But as an adult, I realized what he did was he allowed himself to have the, the, the life he deserved. And he actually allowed my mom to do the same for her.

So it was really a beautiful gift. At the time, I didn’t see it that way. At the time, I experienced scarcity, fear, un you know, uncertainty, doubt, like my whole world was rock. And so growing up with that, you know, I was looking for what is the model of, of, of a successful marriage. And so I looked at my grandparents and I saw that they had stayed together for religious reasons.

And so they weren’t happy. They were together, they weren’t divorced, but they were very miserable as a couple. And that was like, okay, so that’s another extreme. So I see it divorced. I see staying together in a marriage that that did, I did not experience as, as full of love and happiness. And so I was really [00:19:00] on that search.

Well, when I met my wife Elena, before we even started dating, I got to meet their parents. And at the time, they were 45 years blissfully married and they were literally patting each other on the butt, like newlyweds. And I was like, what is this? Very different than what I’m used to seeing? And you know, and so when I, when I ended up.

Dating Elena and I, and, and you know, we’d been friends for a good solid two years before we started dating. So it was a very short dating period. We got engaged about three months into, after we had started dating, because we’d known each other for several years prior. Okay. And, you know, there was not much more, you know, all our secrets were revealed.

We was already, but when I, when I got engaged, You know, I asked my father-in-law, Richard Neese, I said, you know, what is your secret? I’m like, how is it that the two of you are so blissfully married, 45 years in? And he said, we follow three rules. And I said, okay, hold on. Let me get a pen. I wanna write this down.

And so, so it really, these three rules of marriage are actually from my father-in-law. [00:20:00] And it is time tested. He is now, you know, fast forward, there’s 65 years blissfully married. My wife and I are 20, 21 years blissfully married, and it’s all about this foundations and that’s why I, I started writing this book before I joined Sherzad and Positive Intelligence.

So it was already well in the works, so it was too late to go back and retrofit the book to all the things I’d been learning about mental fitness and positive intelligence. So really the purpose here was to sort of say, okay, well there’s some foundational material pieces that ZO has come up with, which connect with these three rules of marriage.

And that was one of the reasons why I wanted to come on and talk to you, and also invite others to come join us for a deeper dive discussion on February 9th. And then we’re gonna go into this in a greater detail. Right. Yeah. Let me add that. I have a little says we, we, you’re ha we’re having a free event.

And by the way, Emily, you’re doing such a great job. Seamlessly moving on all of the, the, the, the, uh, I’ll try something. The plug and all the, the transitions. It’s great. You’re, you’re a total pro. This [00:21:00] is fantastic. No, no. Here we go. This is the one that, you know, we’re not, we’re, we were saying, oh, this isn’t working.

We’re gonna have to adjust this overlay. I don’t know why cuz I think we used the right format, but it’s just, It’s just kind of not working. So I’m going to switch to, I’m gonna switch to this one. Let me see the thumbnail one. And I like this one cuz I can put. Bill right there. Thank you. So tell us about this, um, free event, applying mental fitness to relationship mastery.

Sounds awesome. Yeah, so, so this is the first time we are going to completely deconstruct understanding the foundation’s. Of, of mental fitness as applied to the three rules of marriage. So really this is the crossing of the chasm to be able to talk about both why they work. So when the book, what I talk about are the simple three simple rules that you can use and we can talk about those tonight, that will really support any relationship.

But especially your marriage. And what I did [00:22:00] not do in the book was talk about how mental fitness can actually enhance this work and how it actually explains why these rules work. And so, do you have another book coming out? Yeah, exactly. There’s a lot, right? Um, essentially that was. That was essentially it was the idea of understanding the foundations of our sage powers and what that means in terms of how we can actually build a blissful relationship, and also where our saboteurs will show up and how we actually avoid the saboteurs.

So intrinsically, if I go through these rules briefly, I can share with you what it was that you can see. And if you understand mental fitness, you’ll immediately get a sense of where these are coming from. But if, if, if you start with the first one, which is don’t keep score. You know, the original rule of that was to help the relationship stay in the present.

And so when I begin to keep score, what ends up happening is I start living in the past. I’m anchoring our relationship to past events, which my partner can do nothing about. And so if I’m [00:23:00] constantly drugging up the past and talking about all these things that have happened and historically, we’re no longer dealing with what’s happening now in the present, and therefore the, the result of it is we’re not gonna have the relationship we want because we are forcing ourselves back into the past.

Okay. So let me ask you a question here. Yeah, let’s try that. So, okay. But. Sometimes like when you’re having a disagreement or something, the past is relevant and number one, and number two, how do you, if, if your normal routine or habit it go to is to start talking about the past? Cuz something still really bugs you about the past.

Mm-hmm. How do you, how do you stop that? Yeah, so, so what you do in the moment is you talk about your experience. For example, you know when dishes are left in the sink for me to clean up, this is how I [00:24:00] feel about that, right? And so you’re able to talk about those pieces and it’s not you. You did this to me.

How dare you? That’s our judge coming out, right? And so essentially the idea of when I experienced judgment in the relationship, I’m going to retaliate with some form of a negative. Thought or a negative perspective, either through my judge or my accomplished saboteurs, depending on what my flavor is, that could be victim.

Why has this always happened to me? It could be controller. How dare you? It could be, you know, looking at it from a hyper-rational and looking at the data and saying facts and figures, you’re always wrong and here’s why. Let me prove it to you. Right? So like all of those things show up, but what’s really interesting is you’re asking, this is to say, but wait, but what about the stuff of the patterns of the past?

Patterns are fine, but the idea is if I’m not, if I’m focusing on everything you’ve ever done wrong to me, I’m no longer looking at a pattern. I’m not looking at sort of any type of insight. What I’m doing is I’m just trying to use all the evidence of all the reasons why you’re wrong. And so it for forces the [00:25:00] conversation to be about winning as opposed to designing the kind of relationship you want to have.

Yeah, and so from a sage discernment, You can say, yes, I am noticing a pattern. There is something here that we, you and I get to work on, because this is what the, it is not in alignment with the relationship we’re committed to having. But if you’re looking at, it’s like, well, you always, you always do this to me.

You’ve, I I’ll say, here’s nine examples of how you wronged me in the last year. Right? Let me tell you this, this, this, this. I mean, there’s no winning there. What can I do? All I’m gonna do is just take it, be resentful, and then look for all the evidence of why you’re wrong. And I’m right. That’s not the relationship we want.

Right? And what, what we learn about in positive intelligence in, in the mental fitness program is that, that you, you, you, you know, pointing and just blaming is the judge in our mind judging circumstances and people and situations and. That’s in a, in a [00:26:00] different side of our mind than the sage perspective, which is, and that’s what mental fitness does, is it helps you catch yourself, strengthen your self command muscle to realize, ah, I’m in judge.

I don’t wanna be, that’s where I normally I’m in, I’m in that other side of my brain where I normally go and I’m gonna practice and create new neural pathways so that. I start to switch to the sage perspective, and when you do that, you come up with different ideas and ways, and you’re coming at it from a loving place.

That’s right. That’s absolutely right. And so, so what, what, what ends up happening, right, is when you come from that loving place, you now are discerning, not judging. And if I’m coming from the place of here’s the relationship I am designing, here is the way that I wish to be with you. Here’s how I’d like for us to be together.

I’m really using this as a space of co-creation and the [00:27:00] discernment. Is really distinguishing the things that are helping us to have the blissful marriage we’re both committed to having, or it’s taking us further away from that. And that is not judgment, that is discernment. And that’s a key critical word choice.

That distinction between judgment and discernment is what is, here’s what is, here’s my experience of what is right from that perspective, as opposed to judgment saying, it’s your fault. You did this to me, you know I am unhappy because you continue to do X. Like as soon as I start doing that, I’m keeping score.

And as I keep score, I’m building up all the reasons why I’m not happy. And it’s your fault. That’s why one of one of my coaches said, look, when you point your finger at somebody, you have three fingers pointing back at you. Yes. And I wanna say too that my roommate from the Naval Academy and I did a live show a couple of weeks ago.

Maybe a month. It was a few months ago. Anyway, it was about, it was co [00:28:00] entitled How Two Naval Academy graduates benefited from Mental Fitness and she was a client of mine and her husband got laid off from flying for the airlines because of it was a medical issue. And so he’s at home. She’s at home, she’s an executive with the Federal Reserve Bank.

And she has a controller saboteur, and it’s tough. They have been married for a long time. They have a really good marriage, but it’s been really tough because he’s home more. He wants her to not work as much. They wanna hang out. And he didn’t go through the program, but she did. And it so improved their relationship because all she did was change the way she.

Ara reacted and acted around him. Her, she changed her controller and hyper achiever and she caught them and switched to the sage perspective with her husband and he changed, you know, and that’s exact. So what’s beautiful about what you’re sharing, Emily, is that. This [00:29:00] work is great. It’s if, if both parties are part of their men mentally fit, it supports.

But you know, here’s the thing. You’d only need one of the two people in the relationship to be acutely aware of their own mental fitness, their own saboteurs, their own sage powers. And in that perspective, it actually will dynamically change the relationship is they say you cannot change another person, but you can change yourself.

And in changing yourself, you’re actually changing the relationship that you have with the other person. And that’s exactly what I’m hearing you say is you say that, yeah, that I get to work with. And it will affect us. Yep. It was awesome. So I wanna get to number two, but I just also wanted to say I really appreciate all the people that are chiming in.

Chiming in. We got in er here and Tim Soen. Tim says that I found my next career I’ll be a producer of live streams. Yes, Tim, that’s, that’s your job. I don’t think I can, I don’t think I can do that. So, so the first one [00:30:00] is don’t keep score. What’s the next? So the next one is, it’s more important to say, I appreciate you than I love you.

Now, the reason that that’s so important is that when you’re in a relationship, The idea of love has different meanings and can be said in different ways, and so love can be very generalized. Right? I can still love you and be mad at you. Mm-hmm. I can still love you and not be very happy with you right now.

Right. There’s a lot of things that, that are, that sound like dialectics, right, because it’s, but they’re true. Like I know for a fact that I love you and I’m really upset at you right now. Right when you say, I appreciate you. It is specific. There’s no room for interpretation, so when I say I appreciate you for having me on your podcast, it’s specific, right?

Yeah. You know that I love you and you also know that I really appreciate you in this moment because I’m here with you right now. Mm-hmm. When I say I appreciate you for, you know, uh, for [00:31:00] the laundry or doing the dishes or helping out with any of the chores that neither one of us really enjoy doing. My appreciation of you doing that.

It, it lands because it’s specific. So let me, let me say that I’m, and as I relate that part of your book, the second point about that, it’s when it’s like the, the judge noticing the judge all the time, you know, our judge is telling us is criticize this, criticize that, criticize that. And that’s where we can focus a lot of our time.

And what we are saying is switch to sage and don’t. And, and focus on the positive things and what you appreciate about the person. Yeah, that’s exactly right. And when it comes into it is that that level of appreciation when you appreciate another person, it also has the benefit of bringing you back to gratitude.

And so even if you’re frustrated, even if things aren’t going well, even if there’s parts of the relationship you’d like to improve, [00:32:00] By starting with gratitude, you are much more likely to be able to affect change than coming at a person and telling them all the reasons they’re wrong or they’re bad, or that they’re not doing things that they expect.

Yeah, right. All of that is coming from that negative saboteur space, but the sage is enrolled when you are in gratitude, and this helps keep you in gratitude. Love it. What’s number three? Number three is a very simple one, which is don’t go to bed angry. And so the idea there is, is that if you’re only not able to keep the, uh, historical context, as we said, rule number one, right?

It’s, uh, don’t keep score if you’re not allowed to keep score. And you’re in a disagreement, then you have to make a really critical decision that evening, which is, do we sort of work this out tonight and sort of have the the, have the conversation we need to have, or am I willing to let it go and never bring it up again?

So it’s a choice. Where am I? Because if I’m not allowed to keep score, I get to decide how important is this in our [00:33:00] relationship. If it’s really important, then I’m gonna make the time. We’re gonna have the conversation so we don’t have to go to bed angry. The next morning we start fresh. And if you do that every day, you’re always building upon the foundation from which you are continuously constructing.

If you’re going to be angry and you’re waking up angry, your whole day is starting in the past, you’re starting with what? What is unsettled? What has not been cleared? And so there’s a continuation of that anger and resentment and the saboteur energy of that negativity. One of the things that we do in this positive intelligence mental fitness program coaching program is.

Shaad leads us through a meditation. Well, two, yeah, a meditation where we go and visit it. It’s a visualization where we go and visit our elder wiser self. So you imagine yourself going to visit Emily at age 110. What would Emily, at age 110, tell [00:34:00] me about how I would want to handle this situation now. I love that, that you can, that you can apply that in your marriage too, right?

Absolutely. You know, and the whole thing about it is, is that that’s your sage power navigate, right? What is I, what is it that I actually want in this relationship? Do I wanna be right or do I wanna have this beautiful relationship and this person in my life for the foreseeable future? When I’m designing my life with my wife, what I’m really thinking about is what is it that I want out of our relationship and does this actually help align with what we’re looking for?

So the wiser older self is just me looking back and saying, okay, how much will I care about this 20 years in the future, 40 years in the future, right? What, how does this even matter? And if it does, why does it matter from a values perspective as opposed to, you didn’t do X, or I didn’t do Y enough. Right.

Right. And that’s what I could actually [00:35:00] see my f my former husband, my kid’s dad regretting. Mm, when he was, when he was dying. We didn’t talk about a lot, but I could see that. So, let’s see. We’ve got some comments here. Debbie says, oh, when I was talking about Darlene, my roommate, she said the same thing happened to me and my husband.

It truly does work. Yes, it does. Yes, a hundred percent. Tim. Tim says, you’re an amazing guest. Thank you. Which is definitely true. Oh wait. He said, I’m an amazing host too. Yes, you were. And then let’s see what Karen says. Em. Karen Gifford. Emily, thank you for using your sage explore power and putting yourself out there so that we can all learn.

Bill, thank you for supporting and expanding. The PQ community and co-creating with Emily, this oppor and this opportunity to enlighten others. Yes. You’re welcome Karen. Thank you for being here. If anyone has a question that you want me to ask Bill, or that you want posted, and I’ll try to catch it as we go through [00:36:00] some of these comments.

And well, and just one thing on that point about what Karen just said. I really appreciate what Karen’s sharing because this is co-creation. I mean, this is really what’s beautiful about this work and why I’m so excited to be part of this, this community is that the positive intelligence community hosts thousands of coaches who are helping.

Tens of thousands to hundreds of thousands of, of other people in their coaching business. And you think about as that expands, as more coaches come into the community, think about the millions of people we will eventually serve. So I am honored to co-create here with Emily today because it’s actually showing what’s possible when you have really great individuals coming together to think strategically about the outcomes that everyone wants in their life.

You, you would, you would, lemme just switch this here. Yeah, please. You would, you would not believe. The if, if you’re a coach and thinking, well, sh do I want to become a a positive intelligence coach, a PQ coach, you wouldn’t believe the support that you get from Bill and Shaza and the [00:37:00] in-depth training that you get.

I mean, I went through the program last, I think it was March. And I’m just getting ready to be certified and I was gonna ask Bill if maybe this could count as you, you just certify me now. But, uh, anyway, you learn so much, you go so in depth. I mean, there is this initial six week, six week program, and actually I have, I.

Oops. Oh yeah. Positive intelligence.com up hundred x I’ll put that in. I have a a seven week mental fitness program and the my next one starts on January 27th, and the enrollment de enrollment deadline is this Wednesday. And maybe Bill, you just want to talk a little bit about what this program entails and why.

It’s really just the. Beginning of your mental fitness journey. Yeah. You know, it’s, it’s really interesting when you think about sort of what are the distinctions of mental fitness relative to like an intellectual understanding of this versus an actual [00:38:00] practice. So the real value of the seven week program that you’re identifying right here.

Is the daily practices that you’ll go in, go through, so that you don’t just intellectually understand something. I mean, how many of us have gone to this like life-changing conference? I spent two years with Tony Robbins, love the guy at the same time. You know, you go to these conferences and events. You have this amazing transformational experience, and then you go right back to your, uh, old habits.

And this happens time and time and time again. So you could go pick up positive intelligence, uh, the book and you could read it and you could intellectually understand, oh, I get what mental fitness is. And you would like, you understand the neuroscience and the positive psychology. But as the, uh, the poet Morpheus and the Matrix leads to say there’s a big distinction between knowing the path and walking the path.

And to me, this is the seven week program is walking the path. It’s really the ability for you to step in, not only understand the negative saboteurs and what your tough, uh, sage powers are, but to live the work in, [00:39:00] in the real world where you can actually see the impact that is the distinction. And until you’ve actually gone through that, you really have, you understand mental fitness.

Conceptually, but you’re not living it. And the ability to actually walk the walk during an actual seven week course where you’re supported by peers and someone like amazing like Emily, who’s helping to you to make sure that you really connect this directly to what’s going on in your life. Well, I mean, I can tell you, I, when I, when I lived in Washington DC working at the Pentagon, I joined a gym and I walk by that gym every day.

Yeah. And I didn’t get in shape. I was like, I had to go in and I had to do the exercises. So I hired a trainer and. You know, if after seven weeks I stopped with my trainer and stopped doing the exercises, don’t you think my muscles would atrophy and I’d get in poor shape? That’s why this is, it’s w w you know, I know Shela has talked about it.

We don’t want people to think that this is just a seven weeks and everything’s gonna be perfect. It’s, it, it, it doesn’t mean you have to work with a [00:40:00] coach past seven weeks. I mean, you can, but there’s, there’s more to learn. It’s just the basics in the seven weeks and it’s really a lifetime journey of improving your mental fitness.

It’s beautiful and, and thank you for, for calling that out, Emily, because it really is a life journey. I mean, I think what’s happened is, is that you go into a program like this, you get the foundations and it’s kind of like mental fitness bootcamp, right? You really get that experience of what it’s like to be mentally fit.

And if you keep doing the work, keep doing the practices, this really becomes the lifelong journey. And you start to notice how it continues to unfold and unfold as you do the work. And it really is the daily practice that becomes your destiny, right? That is it. Like what we do every single day. Those little tiny daily habits are the things we do repetitively that actually creates the outcomes we see in our lives.

And so if we notice what those patterns are, that’s the shift. Yeah. Okay, so what do you mean daily hazard? I, I really, you know, a lot of times people are like, I don’t have time to go to the gym for an hour a day. I mean, [00:41:00] how long do I have to work on my mental fitness? This is crazy. I don’t have time to add one more thing to my plate.

That’s right. Exactly. So two minutes. Two minutes. You know what’s interesting about the way we’ve designed this program is the idea is you have a one hour session where you’re listening. To what’s going on inside your brain. What is the neuroscience, what are the connections or the applications? But the actual daily habits that are being developed are being done on the app.

And what you’re being asked to do is spend two minutes during a three hour block of time, three times during the day. So really during the heat of your day, from the morning to the evening, you’re doing, you know, three, two minute exercises, which is nothing. It’s so simple. We use the bathroom that many times, right?

So it’s like so easy. And yet we have this story most of us do about like, oh, I don’t have time for any of this because I, I’m, I’m really focused on my work. I’ve got all these great things. Think about how oftentimes our minds wander during the day. Think about how, how we get sucked into a, an article that [00:42:00] someone sends us via text and suddenly we spent 20 minutes reading an article that’s not on point.

You know, it’s not what we should be doing. So like this idea that we can’t spend two minutes to reframe and really get to our best version of ourself. I mean, that’s, that’s the, that’s the saboteur lies and we work on that first because we know it’s coming and we’re gonna talk about sort of what that looks like.

We believe them. So. Alright, so, um, here’s a question that I have. So perhaps you can go through the different saboteurs in our mind and explain how that applies to relationships. Mm-hmm. Okay. Absolutely. Yeah. So, so the interesting thing about it is, When we are. In judgment. So the master saboteur is the judge.

We all have it. And there’s three flavors of the judge. There’s judgment of self, judgment of others, and judgment of situations. And so essentially when you think about relationships, this saboteur that gets in the way of most relationships. [00:43:00] And it doesn’t matter whether this is your primary relationship, whether it’s a relationship with a family member, your kids, it could be someone from work or just a casual, even with a neighbor, right?

They’re all the same in the sense that when somebody else experiences judgment, there’s a disconnection. We’re not connecting with the relationship that we wanna have when somebody experiences judgment. And so from that perspective, when I’m hard on myself and I’m judging myself, it brings me down energetically.

And nobody wants to be with the Debbie Downer, right? Someone who’s like bummed out all the time. It’s not someone you wanna go spend a lot of quality time with. So the first thing that that judging of self does is it lowers your ability to connect with people simply because you’re really hard on yourself and you’re constantly in a negative space.

Oh, I, I gotta say something about that. Yeah. Cause that really just made me wake up to something. It’s like, I know I’m a, I’m a tough boss. I’m really tough on myself. Yeah. You know, as a boss. And so you could be saying, well, you know, I’m, yeah, [00:44:00] I’m, I’m a tough boss. I, I push myself, I judge myself. You know, I get frustrated if I make a mistake in a briefing or something.

But I, but I don’t treat my employees that way. I’m, and I’m not that way with my employees. How would you say that? Yeah, exactly. And so that’s the lie of the judge saying, this is all fine. I’m helping you out. Right. That’s, that’s the negative side where the basically the judge is saying, you need me. You need me to be critical of you.

Cuz if I wasn’t critical of you, you’d slack off, you wouldn’t do anything. And we didn’t get enrolled in that. But what you’re saying is exactly right. What? By when? I’m hard on myself. I don’t think that it’s coming across to my team members, but it absolutely is because what I’m showing up is I’m not showing up as the best version of myself.

I’m showing up as someone who’s literally been beaten up emotionally, right? That I’ve been drained. I’m exhausted because I’m kicking myself while I’m down. And that that’s not gonna produce a really powerful relationship or something that’s gonna blossom into something positive from a place of negativity.

Yeah. Oh, love it. [00:45:00] All right, so other saboteurs. Yeah. Yeah. So just real quick on the rest of the judge, that’s just being judgment of myself. If I judge you right, it’s you. It’s a non-starter, right? If I say, Emily, how come these programs aren’t working the way they’re supposed to be working? You told me you had all these frames and they’re not working.

Exactly right. Yeah, right. And, and you’ll never invite me back on your podcast ever. No, because Guy, like guy was so judgemental. But that’s what happens. Right. You know, so when somebody’s being judgment, it’s like, no, no, I’m helping them. They don’t see that they’re screwing up. Yes, they are. They know exactly that they’re screwing up.

Right? Yeah. My judge is beating me up for having this. Having this, let me, this overlay, so Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so the thing about judgment of others, and that seems pretty obvious, it’s gonna be a deterrent to the relationship because if someone’s constantly feeling judged, they don’t want to be around that person.

And the same thing is the judgment of the situations. This is terrible. Where is Covid happening in year three? I thought Covid was supposed to be like three months. It’s [00:46:00] going on to three years. Ah, right. So I’m losing my, my mind. Because I’m so frustrated and angry about Covid that nobody wants to be around me because like, oh, you can’t talk to that bill guy.

He’s always going on and on about how life isn’t fair and how Covid is just ruining it for everybody, right. Yeah, well that charge two and the victim, let’s just go there. Since you brought it up, we don’t have to go in order. So yes. So once judgment occurs, ju the judge is the master saboteur. They en judge role enrolls.

The other accomplice. Saboteurs, of which there’s nine victim is an obvious one. You just said it like, okay, great. So if I’m judging the situation, I’m saying how terrible life is. It’s a real easy trap for me to fall into my victim. Oh, poor me. Why is this happening to me all the time? Uh, you know, I, everything would’ve been fine if it weren’t for Covid i’d, I’d be in a better relationship.

I’d have a better job I’d, I’d make more money. I’d do all the I, all of it is coming from a place of victim and. Victim as a foundation, it starts with empathy and it goes too far. And [00:47:00] so what’s really interesting is, is that you can, people who experience a high level of victim saboteur usually have really big self empathy.

They’re, they, they have a self-care is a really positive thing for them. And then they go to the extreme and, and all the saboteurs that happens, right? So every saboteur starts with something positive and it goes way too far. And therefore that extreme nature makes it a negative. Got it. Got it. So you can definitely see how that would impact a relationship with, you know, coworker or, you know, a parent and a child, or you know, a couple or a friend.

Yeah. And so and so, let’s just go, let’s go through ’em. I mean, is that what you’d like to do? See, see like Sure. You can go through ’em real quick. Yeah. Yeah. Let’s do, you know, we have a few more minutes. I usually end it. Yeah, let’s go through them really quick. Yeah, we’ll do, we’ll do a quick highlight and then that’ll be a teaser.

If you wanna go into a, a deeper dive, we’ll talk about sort of how to take these on and how to apply them on, on February 19th when we do the actual full event. [00:48:00] But, so the control 19th or ninth, wait, I have the ninth. Sorry, it’s a knife. I said nothing. Okay. Alright. Alright. Good knife. You had it right? Yes.

So, so, so the controller is, is, is pretty e again, when you start to break these down, the controller you understand is controlling. And so the idea is the person who’s being driven by their controller thinks that they have to be a certain way and, and a relationship is fluid. There’s a dynamic aspect to it.

And the thing about it is with the controller, There’s my way or the highway. And so from that perspective, you know, you have to either align directly to the person exactly the way they want to see things in life or you’re out. So that’s an easy one to see. Like, that’s very one-sided. It’s, it’s, uh, it’s more, it feels almost like an extreme level narcissism, right?

It’s like everybody will be happy because I’m happy. Right. You know, and so that’s, that’s, that’s not a relationship that’s really an individual. Yeah. Got it. You know, and then you look at, you look at the hyper achiever and the hyper achiever is somebody who’s constantly looking at the next thing. And so from a relationship standpoint, I don’t have [00:49:00] time to invest in the relationship cause I’m constantly doing something else.

I’m working on my next book, my Iron Man. I’m, I’m trying to get promoted. I’m trying to do whatever it is. And therefore there’s no room for you. Because basically if you don’t, if you don’t directly fit into what I’m look working on right here, right now, I have no time. So maybe I have time for you what I’m training for my Ironman, but the minute that’s over I’m on to the next thing and you’re out.

Like I don’t ever talk to you again. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. And, and also probably don’t celebrate cuz. Yeah, you accomplished that, but, and then it tells you that not quite good enough move up. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then you, you mentioned early on in the very beginning, you talked about the restless. The restless is the same thing.

It’s like, I don’t have enough friends. You know, it’s like, so this friendship’s going, okay, I like this, but now I’m on the next thing. Right, and it happens in dating too. It’s like, you know, you see people in a pattern, it’s like, next, next, next, next, next. It’s because essentially they, they just, when things are starting to get good, they get bored, they move on.

And so they’re not willing to do the heavy lifting in the relationship because relationships take work. Right? Wow. [00:50:00] Yes, they do. They do. So, you know, stickler is, is easy. You start to see like, hey, if the relationship isn’t perfect, then I’m out. Right. So it’s like, I wanna have the perfect spouse, I wanna have the perfect relationship.

I wanna have the perfect child, whatever it is. And, and, and perfection is an illusion. It’s not attainable. And so it damages the relationship by holding the other person to an impossible standard that they could never, ever meet. And why would you? We’re imperfect human beings. Yeah, avoider. Avoider. Yes. I mean, here’s the thing.

I don’t have time for you. Uh, avoider. Avoider is, look, I really don’t have time to invest in the relationship because it’s getting tense. Usually the avoider is coming from a place of, there’s something important I want to tell you, Emily, but I don’t feel comfortable. So rather than being vulnerable and having a conversation about what’s really important to me, I just don’t.

And so I ghost you. I take off, you know, you never hear from me again. There’s, there’s no relationship. So obviously if, if I’m avoiding you, we really [00:51:00] can’t build on anything. Yeah. Yeah. And so there’s so many, there’s so much to learn. I just have, have really enjoyed this conversation, bill, and I know you put in the chat that there is a way you put it.

I’ll, I’ll add it in the, um, actual chat when I Sure. Go post it later. But there is a way probably too, if they even just go here and. Follow positive intelligence on LinkedIn, but TR tell us about the hundred X program. Yeah, so we did something really phenomenal just for coaches, and so these are coaches and these are not aspirational coaches.

These are people actually coaching on a regular basis and they’re being paid and compensated for their coaching abilities. And so we realized that this work is too important to, to, to, to not get out there in the world. And the way we’re gonna do that is through our coaching community. So the a hundred x program is very simple.

Positive intelligence.com/ 100 x. Tonight is the last night, by the way, for app. Applications for cohort nine. So like cohort nine, we do four. These do four of these a year, [00:52:00] and in doing four year, what cohort nine is gonna be launching is the application can go in by midnight tonight, Pacific time. So you still have time, basically you’re signing up for our grant program.

And so normally this program, the, the, the seven weeks. That, that, that Emily was talking about without a coach, if you’re just doing the technology, is 9 95, so it’s a $995. But with the grant program, every co coach who is a qualified coach, basically someone who’s coaching in their industry, can get the whole program for free during our a hundred x program.

It’s only tonight for cohort nine, and then we’ll see Then it’s gonna be another three months. So we do this in another rotation. So essentially if you didn’t get this tonight, then you should absolutely sign up for Emily’s program. She’ll take you there. It’ll help you out. Yeah, I mean the, you get an app on your phone and it’s so easy to use.

It’s, and there was something that I was gonna say. It’s just I’m in cohort five, and so I wanted to say too that the application’s not really long or hard, you know, or [00:53:00] anything, so don’t be like, oh, I don’t have time to do whole long application. It’s really not that long or hard, but the value that you get, Out of the program is awesome, and I just wanted to say I’m leading.

Um, right now I’m coaching, actually, I haven’t told you this. I’m coaching my son and his wife, woo-hoo. Which is really interesting, um, about being a coach with somebody that you know, that, that, I mean, he’s my son, so I’m really applying my coaching skills of being objective, not judging, and it’s going great.

And they’re, so they’re going through the program. And then I’m also coaching some people from a couple of businesses. They’re in a pod together, so four people from one company and three from another, two from another. And they’re really getting, we’re getting ready to start the second week. So, but they’re, they’re learning too.

And so it’s fun. And teams, you know, leadership teams and teams of people can go through it too. You actually have a b2b um, yes. Group, but so, Let’s talk a little bit about why should people [00:54:00] attend this? Free, you know, mental fitness to relationship mastery, what are they gonna get out of it? Yeah. So you got a taste of it tonight, right?

So you got a specific idea around the three rules of marriage? From my book connected to the foundations of mental fitness and the, and for me, really what I’m looking at is each of the saboteurs and each of the sage powers connected. Through to how to actually create a masterful relationship and understanding how the three rules of marriage are interconnected.

And we talked a little bit about it tonight, understanding sort of some of the foundational materials. These things have always been in place for my father-in-law. I’ve seen him be actually used this, you know, 65 years of blissful marriage myself for 21 years, A blissful marriage. But the idea here is how to create this in a really dynamic framework that everybody understands where their saboteurs, uh, stop them from having the relationships they want, how their stage powers can really be elevated in a way that supports having the absolute best relationships you could possibly hope for.

So we’re gonna spend a lot of [00:55:00] time unpacking that and then using this as an opportunity for individuals to then, Work in small groups and have conversations, we’ll, we’ll be able to have some sharing time that will allow others to participate in ways that will also get them to really motivate and activate right there on the spot and really play with other, other people who are attending the, the, the program.

So we’ll have a lot of fun. Yeah. And you don’t have to have been enrolled in the coaching program or the seven week program to do this, so. Oh, awesome. All right. Lemme just recognize a couple people here. Camilla, thank you for joining us again tonight. Camilla Nepal, I think she’s from Nepal, which is kind of cool.

And Maria Maria’s. Maria, if you watch the intro video, you should watch it. Your picture’s in it. So let’s see. Cause you were past guest. So Lisa says, this has been amazing. You guys make a great team. Thank you Lisa. And Tim is always so helpful. He’s a producer. See, he’s putting this in the comments so people know where to follow you guys on LinkedIn and.

If you haven’t signed up, get out of your way and do it. It will change your life. [00:56:00] You’re so right, Debbie. Debbie, you’re so right. Whether it’s, if you’re a coach and you want to, you know, do the hundred X grant program or whether you wanna sign up for my program or a program with another coach, you know, that’d be great.

Oh, Dave is somebody who’s really active coach. There you go. See he put it in there. Thank you, David. Yeah, thank you, David. I appreciate that he’s involved in the. In the app. That’s another thing about the cool, the cool thing about the app is that we’re able to communicate with people in your accountability group.

When you sign up, you’re in a group, you’re, you’re in the app with people from all over the world that got in the program on the same day. You did? That’s right. And that’s right’s. Cool. Yeah, it’s very, yeah. Somebody will post a comment or an observation. You’re like, Oh, I didn’t realize that’s happening with me too.

So yeah, it’s deeper learning and really supports the the journey itself. I totally agree. It’s a aspect of the program. It’s good. Yeah. What do we have here, Karen? If you’re a coach, the grant program is the best gift you can give [00:57:00] yourself for your own development. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I’ve gotten so much value.

Also out of the, uh, more in depth program after the grant program from you guys. It’s amazing. Tim says he has to go, but amazing show. Thank you, bill for being my guest. I really appreciate you. We pulled this off kinda last minute. Yeah. I really appreciate you, Emily. Thank you for having me on your show.

Really great. Yeah, so another shout out to the February 9th event. There’s, and I’ll post it in the comments as well later. Uh, yeah, and I should say that the URL at the end, three rules of marriage.com/events for all the details on what’s happening on that event. It’s a good place to go. So, yeah, definitely.

And if you’re wanting to go through my program, the enrollment deadline is the 19th, which is Wednesday, and it starts, On January 24th, that’s when the first pod meetings are. And you can see that from my website, so, yay. All right. So let me see. I switched to this [00:58:00] overlay. Oh, there we go. I’m trying, trying new things out, but uh, I’m gonna put you in the green room, Phil, and run my outro and Great.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Appreciate you. Take care. Thank you guys for watching and for putting up with my newness with Restream and everything. I want to thank Gabe Leal. Gabe helped me out a lot this weekend with just kind of walking me through some things at the last minute. I really appreciate you, Gabe.

I want you to know that. So let me play my outro video. This video still needs a little bit of work, but I, I just, I just love it. We’re making a few more changes, but I wanna share it with you guys. It highlights some past guests on the Onward Podcast, and now, like I said at the beginning of the show, this is the Onward Live, which is all about creating a life you love living now.

Onward Live is sponsored by Emily Harmon Coaching and Consulting. Visit my website emily harmon.com to learn more about me [00:59:00] and my coaching programs. I’d love to help you create a life you love living. Remember, every adversity is our own personal university. Sometimes the lessons are difficult. And we must take responsibility for our mistakes.

Vulnerability is your superpower. You are lovable and worthy, and we discuss these topics and more because professional is personal. Thank you for joining us and engaging with me and my guest. I look forward to seeing you next time.