Claim Your TGIToday – How to Find Joy Today

[00:00:00] In many ways, so changes generations. Or a shift in the wind, a body dormant underground, this world. Welcome to Onward Live, a live stream focused on encouraging you to create a life you love living. Now, let’s go beyond success to significance. Being clear on our why is crucial. It requires doing the inner work, finding our.

Getting to know ourselves, embracing our inner child, shedding social conditioning, and letting go of perfect. We know obstacles make us [00:01:00] stronger. We can dream big and take action. Believe you can. And you’re halfway there. I invite you to tune in every week and engage with me and my inspiring guests.

Invite your friends, Let’s make time for what matters most in our lives. Let’s move on together.

Hello. Hello. This is Emily Harmon, host of Onward Live, and, uh, eventually it gets turned into the Onward Podcast. I’m excited to be here tonight with another guest, Brianne Ligori, and  we have a lot in common. We both like talking about just loving your life. And so I think this is gonna be a fun conversation.

Uh, if you’re watching, sometimes it shows me people are watching, sometimes it doesn’t. If you’re, if you’re watching, um, please, uh, let me know where you’re watching from in the chat and, um, feel free to post any questions. And for those of you who are [00:02:00] listening to this as a podcast, welcome, I appreciate you. 

I think I have three or four more left, and then I’m ending the show for a little bit, taking a, taking a break, and I’m not sure if it’s a permanent break or a temporary break. Um, I allow myself to take a break without knowing the answer to that question. So, uh, it feels a little uncomfortable sometimes, but, uh, it’s okay.

So who knows? I might be back. I may not, but, um, we shall see. So let me bring in, uh, Brianne. Hi. Welcome. I’m so excited to have you here. I love the topic, which is, uh, claiming your TGI today instead of TGI Friday. Right, . Thank God it’s today. Like how can you wake up to love your life. And so, uh, in your introduction you said, you know, do you long for the day, the week, or [00:03:00] even the month, um, for the end of the day, the week, or even the month. And do you hear a gentle whisper within you telling you that there’s more for you? In this life. And that’s what we’re gonna talk about today.

And you’re a certified coach. You’re an entrepreneur, co-founder of the Leader, Coach Intensive, which is a coaching certification program, specifically targeted to develop leaders of the future. And you’ve worked in the corporate world for many years, so maybe we can talk about that some. And you raise the bar in varying roles in sales and marketing and training.

Um, and. You write that you chose joy and that you bravely set aside your dazzling corporate career to empower others to live a life of purpose and joy through your coaching. Why do you say bravely? Oh boy, that’s such a good question. I think it’s scary. It’s so scary to leave that consistency of that paycheck.

And also sometimes too, I think the ego kind of gets in the way a little [00:04:00] bit because you have, you know, sometimes really lofty job titles and great bonuses and paychecks, and it allows you to live a life that is really surrounding yourself with a lot of things. So it takes a lot of courage to kind of just step back from some of those things, as seeing those as a really important priority and actually prioritizing your own personal happiness.

So that is what I did. I left a year and a half ago. I couldn’t be happier. I’m having so much fun leading my two businesses. Uh, it was definitely worth it. So like, what, how did you, how did you get to be so brave to do that? Oh my goodness. So it, it wasn’t an overnight thing, so I think sometimes people think you just wake up one day and just quit these, you know, big corporate jobs.

No, uh, for me it was probably about a five year journey actually, to prepare for that change, and I [00:05:00] didn’t even know that that’s exactly. What was gonna happen? I, I guess I would say I sort of followed the breadcrumbs, right? Followed the signs of like, what sort of lit a fire in my belly. Mm-hmm. . And for me it was all about helping people to find more joy today.

To really embrace their life and to have fun and not be so serious and not wish for something in the future to bring them happiness. And so as time rolled on and I started leaning into that more opportunities. Showed up. So I started coming up with some, um, theories and ideas and formulas on how we can find more joy.

And I started kind of sharing them with some friends and family. And then from there people were like, Wow, this really resonates with me. Uh, can you come and present this at my women’s leadership group? Or Can you do a workshop here or there? And then before you know it, when you start leaning into all of these moments over time and kind of follow that pull.

Then things [00:06:00] beyond your wildest dreams actually start to happen. Things you didn’t really even set out to do. So it’s pretty cool. Oh, I’m excited to learn more about that. So, uh, Tim Soan, thank you for joining us. And then we have a LinkedIn user. I can’t tell who it is. Let us know in the comments, uh, from Tampa and um, thank you for watching.

I’m wondering if that’s Teresa, but I’m not sure. So let me know and I hope that. I’m, I’ve just been really thinking about everybody down in Florida and Puerto Rico and even over in Pakistan, you know, that are, um, going through devastating flooding and, you know, just so many challenging things going on in this world.

And, um, I think that you and I have learned that perhaps, and, and. That even through those challenging times, we can find hope, we can find something that we love. We can find joy through the day. And you see that in the news when people are like hugging their neighbors and you know, just finding their dog.

Oh, Gina. Hi Gina. Hope everything went well with you. [00:07:00] Uh, let us know in the chat with the, the storm and everything. So Brianne… Could you have found that joy when you were working in corporate?  Oh, absolutely. I definitely did.So when we start to talk about like connecting with our purpose, a big part of my purpose is helping people to find joy.

And so I call myself a joy connector. It’s what I do. Those corporate jobs, I absolutely found that in those roles I actually had so much fun. So a lot of people think, Oh, you left your corporate job. You must have hated it. Actually, the answer is absolutely not. I loved it. I loved every minute of it. I did pretty much every job in the company, just had a blast kind of move in and trying out different things, and I was able to actually exercise my purpose in different roles in teams that I led in coaching programs that I built for management teams.

I had so much fun, but for me, I was just feeling [00:08:00] this pull towards something different. And so I can actually use my purpose in many different ways as we all can. Those are just things that I do or jobs that I hold, and you can actually shine your purpose through at anything. And I think people often think, Oh, I need to, you know, start a charity or quit my job, or, you know, climb Mount Everest to find my purpose.

No, those are just things you do, right? You can show your purpose in, in many different ways. Yeah. Well, um, I might get the whole story a little bit wrong, but Sza Shain, who wrote this book, uh, Positive Intelligence, he tells a story about like, how, I don’t know if it was a study or what, but they just interviewed these, um, people that cleaned up the hospital rooms.

Right. And, um, you know, some people. Looked at it as their job. Some people just put up with it. Some people felt that it was their purpose. You know? Mm-hmm. , that was their purpose in life. To be cheerful for [00:09:00] the get, for the, um, patients and to really keep the place clean and to, um, you know, he noticed that the patients, this, this person noticed that the patients were looking up a lot, so ma made sure that the ceiling was clean, the vents were clean.

I mean, different things like that. So, you know, no matter what, you know, I remember giving an award to the. The woman that cleaned our building when I worked, uh, for the Navy, um, because. I was in a small business office and a lot of people came, and that was their first impression of the command where I was working.

And so it was so important that it be clean. And, you know, she hung that award up in her, in her, in her closet where she kept her supplies. And so Noma, every, every job is. Important and you can find your purpose in, in that and live your purpose through those, You know, what you do in those jobs, how you approach those jobs, right?

Yes. Yeah. It’s exactly that. It’s how you approach it, right? So their purpose isn’t to clean, but their [00:10:00] purpose is, as you said, like to cheer people up or take care of people and make sure they’re in a clean environment. Mm-hmm. like those are the things that drive. Rather than just like the title of a particular job or something that we actually do.

So it’s, it’s kind of neat to hear that coming through in that book. I would love to, uh, to grab a copy of that. Yeah, it’s a good, it’s a good book. Um, positive intelligence. Um, so you talk about four factors to bring joy through internal fulfillment, but I’m wondering like, what is your definition of, of joy?

Before you talk about the four factors. Well, the thing is, is that I think sometimes people use the word happiness, enjoy interchangeably, and I actually think that they have sort of different definitions. Um, so happiness is sort of like in those. Individual moments, right? Like, you know, our kid comes and gives us a hug.

It’s like, okay, that was a good moment. And then that moment passes. Those moments of happiness are sort of fleeting and we’re kind of always chasing those moments, right? [00:11:00] Where’re joy, It’s just permeates our life. It’s just a feeling that we, we have from inside. A feeling that we have when we’re actually following what makes us, um, feel like most ourself.

Mm-hmm. when we feel like we’re following our truth. Those types of things to me are what Joy comes from and. We don’t have to be happy all the time to be joyful, right? So I live a joyous life, but not every moment of my life is happy. Like there’s a lot of crazy chaos that goes on in a house with 11 year old twins running two businesses.

My husband runs four, Like we got a lot going on. And so not every moment’s happy, but we live a joyous life because we’re following what’s in our heart, what’s true to ourself, and we’re making choices to really live by that truth. And you, what did you say? That you have a, a sign right next to you that what does it say?

Yes, I do actually. It’s hanging on my wall. It’s kind of a coincidence. I don’t know if you can, probably not. I don’t know how to [00:12:00] get it in front of camera, but, um, create a life. You create a life. You can’t wait to wake up to. I love that my daughter gave me a sign, it’s in my bathroom and says, And she designed a life she loves or something like that.

I mean, it’s like create design. It’s not about waiting for it to happen. Mm-hmm. , right? Oh yeah. It’s about taking action, not like, Well, once I retire I’ll love my life. Or once I find the love of my life, I’ll be happy or joyful. Or once, um, I get a promotion. Those are, you know, we sometimes put it off when this happens, then I’ll be happy I’ve done that.

I’m sure we all have, but I think we all do. And you know, you bring up such a good point and I really, um, through my work and my coaching and leadership, I’ve realized that. We live in what I call A T G I F society, so a society where we’re always waiting for that next thing, like you said, that next promotion or that next relationship [00:13:00] retirement.

Like I even hear people go, Oh, 10 more years to go, and then I’ll be happy. I know it’s. Crazy that we are constantly wishing for that next thing, that next bonus check or whatever it might be. And when I get there, I’m gonna be good. And I was doing this, I was guilty of this. I was climbing all different corporate jobs like every two years I had a new job.

A lot of that was led by, okay, I’ll be happy when I get to that next role. But the problem is, is that when we actually get to the next role or that next thing, whatever it. , we don’t actually land, We don’t fully enjoy the moment. We actually set our eyes on the next thing I know, And so like that joy becomes this moving target where we never actually get there.

It’s like just that carrot that keeps on moving. Mm-hmm. . And so in my book I talk about the TGI Today formula, which is all about those four factors that are gonna help us to live more in today. So thank God it’s today. And to really just [00:14:00] be in that moment because so many things are happening in the world.

We never know when, you know, our last day on earth for any of us could be like, we need to enjoy it today. It’s so, so. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I’ve said it before, I’ll say it real quickly, that, um, I had my wake up calls when I retired. So I called three years ago. I retired, I called my retirement at graduation.

I’m like graduating on two a life. I get to, I, yes, I get to do whatever I want. Yeah. What’s that? I don’t even know. Uh, I don’t even know who I am anymore. Um, and then I thought I was gonna have so much time to exercise and work out and all this stuff and, and, um, to, you know, make a lot of friends, well covid hit and stuff, but, you know, my life was just gonna be so much easier really when I retired and I was busier than ever.

So I had to. I didn’t have a job to blame it on. I didn’t have a boss to blame it on. I had to look at myself. And that’s when I started that inner work journey. Looking at myself and understanding why I was busy all the time was really [00:15:00] to avoid feeling my feelings. Um, but, and not to go too long into it, but like three weeks after I retired, my kid’s dad, Um, was diagnosed with cancer and he died five months later, and I saw him die with regrets on how he lived his life.

So those two things happened within five, six months of each other. Woke me up to, Yeah, wait a second. How do I wanna live my life? How do I wanna be feeling? And what do I wanna be thinking and feeling when I’m. Um, you know, in bed, um, you know, maybe getting ready to pass away. How do I want to feel? And, uh, so it really changed, um, the whole way that I approached life, the way I created and designed my life intentionally.

I think that’s what you’re talking about, being intentional about how we live our lives. That’s exactly it, right? It’s not feeling like we’re a victim of our circumstances, like, you know, it’s looking at the world that actually the world and the things that happen are actually happening for us rather than to us.

And all of [00:16:00] those things, even though there’s difficult things that come up, they’re actually placed there to help us learn lessons and to help us grow and evolve and really get to know our. And what we stand for in this world. Yeah. If we pay attention to them instead of just like, That’s it, , I’m too busy.

I was always too busy to pay attention. You, you, you mentioned in here about like, uh, do you have like a, uh, inner whisper or something telling you that there’s more in life and you might hear it, but then you ignore it and you hear it and you ignore it and you hear it and you ignore it? Yeah. And. It’s important.

And actually, actually where my journey really, really got kicked off around all of this. So back four years ago, uh, November, 2018, I was on a family vacation in Costa Rica and I remember lying on the beach and of course you think Costa Rica like the most glorious place on earth, and it certainly is, but because my pace actually slowed down.

I actually got to kind of self reflect and I was doing a bit of an inventory of my life [00:17:00] and kind of in my mind, and I was going, Okay, so I got the big job, I got a great family, and the house, the car is vacations whenever I need them. Why the heck am I asking myself, Is there more to life? And that question just kept repeating, Is there more to life?

There’s more to life, there’s more to life. And I started feeling guilty. For having that feeling because I had this perfect life from the outside. Perfect. Everything I needed. Right. And so for me through that, I realized that I needed to redefine my definition of success because we are conditioned from a very young age to believe that success is everything outside of ourself.

Mm-hmm. . So what job title we have, what people think of us, what house we live in, uh, what university degree or college degree we have. All of those things. It’s like we’re striving to check all those things off in our lives. And so when some of those things start to fall away, then, then who are we? Right?

Right. If we’re just defined [00:18:00] by all of these things on the outside, Yeah. Who are you? Are you good enough? Like how do you, how I mean, how, how, how, how do you feel good enough if you’re, if you’re not like achieving all the. . That’s exactly it. Right? So for me, I needed to go deep inside and say, what does success mean to me?

Mm-hmm. , And to me it was just simply knowing who I am. Mm-hmm. , what matters to me, what brings me joy, What lights that fire in my belly. And then the hardest thing is to actually make choices. To live by that. Right. It’s good to know all of that. Yeah. But then you gotta do it. You gotta make a change. Cause you might have people say, Well, you’re crazy.

What are you doing? You’re leaving corporate to be what? A coach. What’s a coach? I mean, you know, things like that. You might have heard like, Right, what are you gonna do for healthcare? How are you gonna, how are you gonna live? Well, it’s this fear mentality, right? So like, yeah. People aren’t behind you cheering.

A lot of people are. [00:19:00] Scaring you, but not on purpose. Right. It’s because we’ve all been conditioned in the society that successes all of these things, the, the, the size of our bank account and all of those things. Um, and so, yeah, I heard it a lot. And honestly, every single day that ego can creep back in there and go, Oh my God, I should just get a corporate job.

I can go and make, you know, tons of money doing that. Mm-hmm. , But would I be truly happy? Do I wanna sacrifice that when I’m being pulled to something else? And so it is a conscious choice every single day for all of us to make choices to live into our truth. Yeah. Whatever that is. And to make that time to, you know, to figure that out for ourselves.

What is our truth? I think this Facebook user is Maria Thorpe, Uh, because I’ve interviewed her and, uh, she’s. Electrical engineer and she talks about, you know, engineering your success. So beautiful. Thank you Maria. Thank you. So what were those four factors? Did you list them and I missed it? No, I didn’t list them yet.

Okay. So [00:20:00] it is, uh, alright. All right. So the TGI Today formula, Okay, so it is purpose plus people, plus Pace. and it all sits on a foundation of the power of choice. Okay? So you can draw a line under those three things and then put the power of choice underneath so you’ve got yourself this lovely formula.

Because I think a lot of people struggle to know, Okay, well how do I actually find joy today? Like, it sounds simple, but it’s actually kind of hard. Mm-hmm. so. I spent a ton of time interviewing people all over the world, people that I coached, really trying to understand what are the factors that go into our joy, and these are the themes that just kept coming up.

Okay, so. They’re pretty important to many people. Um, purpose is all about what we’re here on earth to achieve, right? Right. So some of the stuff we’ve already talked about, um, people is about who we’re surrounding ourself with, right? So we wanna live a more joyous life. We need to be super intentional about who we’re bringing into our life.

Yeah. And then [00:21:00] pace. The pace of our days. My gosh, how many times do you start a conversation and the person says, How are you? And then you say, Busy. Busy. Right? Like, it’s like our, it’s our word. We all say it, right? Life is busy. Mm-hmm. . So if we wanna live that joyous life, we need to really get a handle on a pace that’s right for us.

And that’s gonna be different for everybody at different phases of our lives. Yeah. Yeah. And then power of choice. So if something in our purpose, people or PACE is not lining up with our, our joy every day, then we have that choice to do something different. Mm-hmm. , I love it. That’s why I decided to end the podcast.

Not, not that I to take a break, not that I. Don’t love it, but I wa I don’t wanna get to the point where I’m like, Ugh, I gotta do another interview or something like that. And there’s more things that I wanna create and do in my, in my life. And so I definitely love interviewing everybody and I’ve learned so much, but I’ve, I’ve done it for three and a half years.

And so, [00:22:00] um, I just wanna take a little break, see how I miss it, if I miss it, and, and figure out what else I, I wanna do with my life. I wanna have more time to hike and camp, and I may even write a book, you know, where I talk about, you know, my journey, my awakening, but then tie. In all these different podcast episodes, um, and what I’ve learned from all my guests.

So you never know. So that’s beautiful. There’s something cool in the mystery too, Emily, right? Like not knowing exactly what it is and just trusting. Yeah. Trusting that each step will reveal the next step. Yes, that’s for sure. You know, cuz I usually like to plan things out and um, yeah. And so I let myself yeah.

You know, what’s next? I don’t know yet, but I’ll figure it out. Yeah. And I’m okay with that. So you said too, you, you, um, wanted to talk about optimal alignment of activities and energy. What do you mean by that? Hmm. Yeah, so this sort of, you know, comes down to the piece about. So this [00:23:00] seems to be the most popular topic when I’m talking about these things because people are really struggling with the pace of their days.

Mm-hmm.  Um, so many people are feeling like they’re just struggling to keep their head above water with how many things that they have on their plate. And so, you know, when we have this conversation, I always talk about the key to this being time for self-reflection, Okay? Mm-hmm. Because when we don’t have time to really get to know who we are, We don’t really make intentional choices, we start to just make reactionary choices.

Right? And we no longer are, in the driver’s seat of our life. We’re actually in the back seat. And our life is just kind of going and sometimes we may feel like we’re swimming upstream. Like it, it’s just so hard to just, you know, get through the rapids and the current and even keep our head above water.

And then our happiness and our joy is just not there. And that’s how we go from thinking, this is where I’m gonna be next year. And then you’re in the same place year after year after year. Cause you’re sitting in the back [00:24:00] seat, not the driver’s seat. And, uh, yes. You know, one thing that I, I don’t know, have you read this book?

Have you read this book? Um, Atomic Habits? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. That’s a really good book about like, how to get yourself in the frigging driver’s seat, you know, small little habits, habit stacking. We don’t want to go into it today, but it’s, um, a really excellent book if you want to, you know, figure out how to.

You know, like a one degree change, a 1% change in what you’re doing every day is gonna really make a big difference in a year if you stick with it. , So Suzanne. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. And Suzanne says, Success is outside of yourself. Ourself, uh, is a statement that we should question because it really begins with you as an individual, like you say Brian, and, uh, what you’re being pulled to do.

Love this podcast. Yeah. Thanks Suzanne, for, for watching. Yeah, thank you Susie. I know you Susie. I’m gonna come see you again soon. . [00:25:00] Well pace, you know my word. Um, Of the year. I didn’t start doing that until I graduated or retire, but my word of the year, this past year, and I think this coming up year is still gonna be being, is kind of I’ve been accomplishing all my life, accomplish, accomplish, accomplish, uh, never celebrate my successes.

So then it’s like I wanna focus on who am I being while I’m doing? And, uh, cuz as one of my podcast guests said, When you do, do, do you turn into, do, do. And so like , I have on my list. Okay. I do have a to do list, but it’s like, all right, yes. How do I wanna be today? And that’s, I think, the pace thing, um, that you’re talking about.

I think a lot of people are just tired of this pace, and I think we feel like we can’t do anything about it. But you can, but you really, really can. There’s so, my gosh, there’s so much good stuff to say here. Um, like we’re human beings, not human doings. I think [00:26:00] we’ve heard that lots of times before. So I love that.

Um, I am so with you on this. Like I am coming from the corporate world, like I’m a doer. I’m a like, You know, list checker, go, go, go. I gotta get it done. And there’s some sort of like self-worth thing kind of connected to that because we’ve been raised that way our whole lives. Right. But recently I realized, huh.

Okay, so if I actually wanna be more effect. I need to out actually kind of balance those energies, like they call it like the yin and the young energy. Right? Right. So the busy, busy do, do, do. But on the other side, I need to be taking time for that self-reflection. Mm-hmm. and to just really continue to get to know myself, be quiet, allow my intuition to flow through.

Because when those things work together, we are so much better at actually doing. Yeah. And we’re much more effective. Yeah. And, and so if you’re somebody like me and maybe like you were, um, being quiet and just reflecting is really uncomfortable. It [00:27:00] Yeah. Can be. It sure is. It, it definitely, you know, that, that’s the reason I stayed busy is so I didn’t have to feel my feelings.

And when my former husband passed away, you know, my kid’s dad, all the feelings that, like one of my past guests said, I say this on every episode, I think, you know, she said, When you shove your, your feelings to the basement, they lift weights. So all my feelings for 20 years came up after when he died, when he was sick.

It’s like I was starting to feel him all because in the past I was too busy. I was a single parent, I had a busy job. I was just too busy, busy, busy. I was getting my kids through and I was putting everyone and everything else first and. And so it took me a while. That’s why I stayed busy when I retired, cuz subconsciously that’s the way.

And I, and I thought I couldn’t change. I thought this is just the way I am. Yeah. But if, if you’re feeling that way, there, there is hope you can change and you can become, um, a different, you know, a different, You can, you can adapt to a different, [00:28:00] find a different way of being, I guess is what I would say.

And it’s so free. . It really is. And like sometimes the to-do list can be a bit of a crutch, right? Just like I’m just so busy and we feel validated when we’re doing it and all of that. Um, so it, it’s a conscious choice to take that time. Um, for me, like, my gosh, my days are crazy leading two businesses and with the kids, right?

And sports and all that fun stuff. Mm-hmm. . So I was literally getting out of bed and like diving into my day. So, you know, up at 6:00 AM on the bike or doing some sort of exercise before the kids wake up and then lunches and then, you know, preparing for work. So I realize that I need to bring a little more of that yin energy into my day.

So I set my alarm 15 minutes earlier. I get up at 5 45. And I have a tea and I get my journal and I just spend a bit of me time because I really think like the way we start our day is actually gonna continue through our day. Yeah. So for me, this has been a game [00:29:00] changer. I know I don’t really like to get up earlier, but like it’s totally worth it.

Just having that time just to kind of reflect and go. How do I want this day to go? Yeah. And then just kind of setting that intention. Right. Oh, I agree. And then I think, I think reflecting at the end of the day, if you can make time to do that, is important too. Cuz you could say, Okay, I intended to be this way and then in this situation I had this little thing with my husband, or I snapped at my kids, or, you know, I didn’t handle that client very well, or whatever.

Whatever you wanna look at to say envision like, okay. Have some compassion for yourself and also like imagine yourself handling it the way you want it to. And then as you practice that in your mind, you visualize that, then the next time your reaction is gonna be more automatic towards the way you wanna be.

So it’s not like, You snap your fingers and you’re being differently , you know, it takes time, it takes some [00:30:00] practice takes, it takes time, It takes intention. Yes. I love that word, . One of my favorite books is Wayne Dyer, The Power of Intention. Yeah. I just love this man, and he talks a lot about this, like, you know, whatever we put into our mind before we go to bed is gonna be in there on repeat.

So if we wanna create negative energy, You know, watch the news before bed, right? Mm-hmm. , we want to kind of wor, you know, um, grow ourselves, put positive things into your mind. Positive affirmations are exactly what you just said, like a visualization. Mm-hmm. of how you want things to go. Mm-hmm. is really, really powerful to put into your subconscious.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . So the TGI Today formula, is that the p that’s the four factors, or is it a little d. . Yeah, so that is four factors. Purpose, that’s your formula plus pace, and then divided by the power of choice. So what you, you mentioned, um, some breadcrumb exercises. What do you mean by that to help you recognize your inner calling [00:31:00] and happiness sparking purpose?

Yeah, so purpose is a really important element of the TGI Today formula. And I think sometimes when people hear that word, like we get kind of like anxious, we’re like, I, right? Like our shoulders start kind of rising up for like, you know, a lot of pressure. I’m supposed to have one. Yeah, that’s the thing.

And so I think that we think it’s just this one purpose. Mm-hmm. . And it’s this big grand moment that we’re gonna hit one day and it’s, you know, far off in the future. . But the thing is, is that purpose can be found in small, simple moments of life, moments of joy, moments where you feel most yourself, moments where you’re at peace or maybe you’re doing something that you love.

Cause that all really, really matters and it’s important. And so, as we talked about earlier, those things can show up in so many different ways. It doesn’t need to just be one grand moment. Right? And so with purpose, I also talk about in the book that it. [00:32:00] All around us. It is in us. It’s not something outside of ourselves.

And we can start to kind of tune into what I call breadcrumbs. And breadcrumbs are those signs and those clues that are all around us that are leading us in the direction of our purpose. So that fire in your belly when you’re doing something and you’re like, Ah, this is. So great. Or the sign that you see on the roadway, um, that intuitive moment or something someone says just at the right time, and you’re like, you get shivers, right?

Yeah. Those are breadcrumbs. And when we start to lean into those things, like for me, when I had people say, Oh my God, this TGI Today formula is amazing, can you present it? You know, to my women’s leadership group, that’s a breadcrumb, right? And I could have said, No, I’m too busy. I’ve got this corporate job.

Or I could dive right in, which I did. And then through that, over time, it became a book. But I had no intention of it being a book, right? It just kind of happened through leaning into these, [00:33:00] these little breadcrumbs and signs of people saying things, and I know feedback I was getting and just that, that fire in my belly around this formula.

So I think a lot of it has to do with awareness, right? One of my, uh, coaches is Mary Morris. I don’t know if you’ve heard of her, but she talks about Yeah. Um, notice what you’re noticing. Mm-hmm. , Yes. That’s, you know, And then, and then she says the biggest transformational tool is your calendar, like making time for the.

The things that are important to you, right? Sure. Um, you know, it’s not just the, do you know, she talks about being too, but you know, when we say, Yeah, I wanna do that, or, you know, like, my mom sometimes will say, Yeah, someday I wanna do that. I’m like, All right, we’re gonna, You, you wanna go to the peaks of Otter and Hike?

She wants to hike. Uh, I, I. Sharp something. Is the name Sharp top? [00:34:00] My mom’s 79. She wants to hike sharp top. It’s a very hard hike. So I said, Okay, we’ll do it. We’re gonna do it on uh, November 2nd. We’re staying, you know, instead of Well, she said maybe next year. No, we’re doing it. I’m booking the hotel. We’re gonna the, the peaks of Otter Lodge, we’re gonna go there.

It’s fall. It’s beautiful. Let’s do it. Let’s do it now. Yes. Yes. Oh, it’s incredible. I think that’s so beautiful and I love what you say about, notice what you notice. Mm-hmm. like that is something we’re missing in a big way in this world. Mm-hmm. , because we’re so busy with todos. Right. That we don’t actually take time to tune into these breadcrumbs or these things that we notice.

Right. And so we do have to set that intentional time, although it’s like, oh, I don’t, can’t really add anything else to my to-do list. Yes, you can because you can say no to something. You can look at your list and you can do a bit of an assessment and look at the should. That’s what I always recommend.

There are things on your to-do list that are should dos, things you don’t actually really wanna do. You [00:35:00] know that party you said yes to, but you’re like, ah, I’d rather be on the couch, you know, watching Netflix and eating popcorn, right? Say no to those things that are should to make room for yourself so you can put your happiness as a priority, right?

No is a complete sentence. That’s it. So, you know, we’re talking about, um, I’m just gonna share here. Thank you su Suzanne, for summarizing a lot of the points here. We appreciate that in the comments. Um, they’re so awesome. I love you Susie . I wanna put a caption here for, um, This saboteur assessment, I, I mentioned it on, uh, another show recently.

I mean, it’s an area that I coach in with this positive intelligence. But you can go online and take this free saboteur assessment, and if you can’t remember the link, just go to positive intelligence.com and it’ll tell you some of the. What’s, what’s holding you back? How you’re self sabotaging and the thoughts, you know, so what you were just talking about is [00:36:00] somebody who might have more of a pleaser saboteur, right?

Like, I’ve gotta please everybody. I should do that, I should do this, I should do that. That was me putting everybody in everything else before me, or the hyper achiever. Um, my hyper achiever tells me, Emily, you achieve this, you’re gonna be really happy. It used, you know, used to, and then it was like, I achieve.

About that . Yeah. So, you know, and then there’s controller avoider. So this assessment is, uh, free. It’s pretty easy and it helps you really understand yourself. It helps you get a little bit more, become a little bit more aware and noticing some of the thoughts that are in your mind because, and a lot of times, like one of my other guests, uh, said on the show, we, we kind of rubber stamp these thoughts and believe ’em, you know, thought comes in.

Yep, Yep. Thought comes in and. When you’re noticing what you’re noticing, you notice those thoughts more and you take a pause and you say, Well, is that really true? Yeah. Do I, I don’t need to believe that those thoughts aren’t you. It’s your mind. It’s not [00:37:00] you. Right? Yes. Yeah. I love that. And I remember Wayne Dyer went, said, like, if someone told you you’re a tree, are you gonna believe them?

Of course not. So why are you believing these thoughts that are in your mind, like, Take the power away from them. Right? Right. And so the first thing you have to do is even notice what they are. And then you have to get curious about, is this really true? What else could be true? What’s another way of looking at it?

Um, so yeah. And then, People was one of your things. Are you talking about like making sure you’re surrounding yourself with, um, people that are uplifting and support you? Right. And then you said you know what you want and need from people in your life and how to ask them for it. Ooh, asking for help.

That’s hard to do sometimes, right? It totally is. And so in our lives we’re gonna need different things at different times, right? And so we’re, we’ve got different people that come in and out of our. In my book, I refer to people as dragon flies, uh, [00:38:00] because dragon flies come in all different shapes and sizes and colors and with different strengths.

As do the people in our lives, and they come in and out of our lives at different times. Mm-hmm. . And so if we wanna design this life, create that life, we’re excited to wake up to, we need to be super intentional about who we are surrounding ourself with mm-hmm. . Um, some people are gonna be more supportive, some people are gonna be more challenging, and that is completely okay because you’re gonna need a little bit of both.

Mm-hmm. depending on what you’re going through. So when I wrote my book, for example, I needed a lot of champions behind me. I needed people to really listen and be sort of that sounding board. But I also needed people that were perspective shifters that were gonna read my work and give me that feedback.

That might be hard to hear, but needs to be said, right? And so I had to call those people into my life. I didn’t have as many perspective shifters as I needed, so I ended up putting together a pilot team of 20 people that read my book, covered a cover, and [00:39:00] gave me feedback. I had tons of feedback that I was then able to incorporate.

To make it an even better experience for the reader. So, although difficult, oh my God, was not my favorite thing to do, read 50 page feedback, but it just, it really enriches your life when you have that balance that you need. So it’s really tuning in to paying attention to what are your goals, what do you wanna achieve?

And then what, what styles of people or dragonflies might you need around you to help you get there. Ah, I love that analogy. Yeah. With the dragonfly. Um, yeah, and you also talk about the power of choice. Um, you know, we do have choice and you know, the, one of the ways that I, the way that I came up with, all right, I’m gonna end my podcast, is, um, I went camping, I got out in nature, I got away, and I, I think we all need to do that from time to time and to ask ourselves, okay, what’s.

What do I wanna let go of and what do I wanna create? And I’ve been [00:40:00] working on letting go of more things cuz uh, guess what? I’m retired right? . And so I wanna let go of even, even more things in my life to create more time to go hiking and camping and to spend time with my grandson and my son and daughter and my parents.

Um, those are things that really bring me joy. I’ve come a long way, cuz three years ago it was very, I was just busy. I didn’t have time for that. I was busy, you know? Mm-hmm. . And so I’ve, my, like, I’ve really, uh, come a long way in that. And so I’m telling anybody who’s listening, if you think, Oh, I’m just so busy.

There’s no way I can, uh, transform like this and, and create that life, um, I just can’t do it. I would encourage you to, Reconsider that because I mean, I’m saying if I can do it, you can do it. . Mm-hmm. the way I, the way I used to be. So, um, so how is this impacting your children? You said you have twins that are 11.

Your outlook on life and everything. [00:41:00] Yeah. Oh my gosh. My babies aren’t babies anymore. I can’t believe it. ? Um, well, one thing is, is my daughter is like hell bent that she’s gonna be, Write in a book with me one day on this. She wants to call it TGI today for teens. Oh, I love it. She’s like over the moon. She helped me with a lot of like the illustrations in my book, like I get.

So, Oh, this book is a book you, you actually experience. You actually do, It’s a full colored book. And so you, you walk through all these activities to go through the TGI Today formula. And so she actually helped me come up with a lot of the ideas, like she’s mature beyond her years. Oh, wow. And, uh, she, she, yeah, she’s like, When are we writing in the next one?

When we doing TGI Gene? So she believes in this work, and I think it’s because. This is what I’ve preached since she was born, right? Mm-hmm. , is it really about following your truth, knowing who you are, uh, going with, what makes you happy, like all of those things. So she’s [00:42:00] ready. . Um, my son is really just, I believe he’s just like an, an angel.

Like he, his name actually means bringer of light and I didn’t even know that. But like, he is just such a kind soul and I feel he is very intuitive and just gets stuff uhhuh . So I feel like he’s, he’s well past, past me and my daughter anyway, so . It’s, it’s incredible when you bring this kind of stuff into your household, the impact that it, it has on people just having these conversations.

And I even hear them saying things. Mm-hmm. , right? Like my son, um, he brought home one of those, um, you know, the paper that they use at school, and they, they pass it around and everybody writes something nice about you. Yeah. Yeah. And then you take it home and it’s supposed to be like, Woohoo. I’m gonna feel so good about.

Well, he brought his home and he actually crumpled it up in a ball and he was about to throw it out. And I said, Luca, what’s going on? Like, why? Why are you throwing that out? He’s like, Mom, all people wrote on my paper was, I was good at sports, I was [00:43:00] handsome. Like whatever. It was good at gym. Those kinds of things.

He’s like, That’s not who I am, Mom. Like wow. And I was like, And then he was knowing at the time and I was like, Holy smoke, something’s working here. Because like, he gets it. He gets it. Success isn’t those things outside of ourself. He gets that it’s, it’s what’s inside. So he was pretty upset about it. So I’m taking that as a good sign that he’s evolving

Yeah. That is amazing. That’s amazing. I love that. Wow. Yeah. , I think, I think that, The next generations are just gonna be a little bit more kinda laid back than I was. I don’t know. I saw a apic, my daughter, who’s 26, she had a A thing in her Instagram story last night, and it said something like, it had a picture, It wasn’t Anna, but had a picture of this woman.

It said, When I get really stressed, I just think. And then it had a picture of the earth going into the universe, going [00:44:00] into, you know, other universe, all that, you know, just imagine that, you know, we think that this thing is so stressful and really we’re just little people on this small earth that’s in this huge universe.

We make such a big deal out of all these little things. I loved that she hosted that. Yeah. So she’s like evolving and she gets it. Yeah, she does. Yeah, she does. And uh, you know, I think what helped her get it a little bit is that she has an invisible illness and so she couldn’t. Like go, go, go. Like I did.

And I used to think, Well, if she’s lazy or something like that, you know? And, and then I realized, Oh no, she’s, she’s actually tired and she needs to rest, and she’s taking care of herself and she’s putting herself first, which is something I never really did. You know, I put everyone else first. So, you know, I, I’ve learned a lot from both of my children.

I’m sure you have [00:45:00] to. Mm-hmm. , you know, Oh, they’re teachers. They’re absolutely are teachers. It’s really be. Yeah, for sure. So you’ve, let me see, I’ve got a few things here. Um, people can follow you on Facebook. Um, is it a group? Yep. Or is it uh, yep. No, it’s just a regular page and then yeah, Instagram, They can catch me at Brianne Lago as well.

Yep. And then you also have your website and what I do. What kind of resources do you have on there? Yeah, so I have all kinds of free resources that people can download. So I have a Joy bundle, I have a TGI Today Self-assessment so people can kind of see where they are today so they can start making action plans to move forward.

Um, and then of course, my book is on there as well, if anybody’s feeling inspired by this work. Yeah. That’s awesome. Um, and then I’ve got here too, connect with you on LinkedIn. Are you on LinkedIn a lot or, you know, you’ve got [00:46:00] these, uh, Facebook and an Instagram, so where are you mostly? Yeah, I’m on LinkedIn too.

Um, I do run two businesses, so I’ve got of course all of the stuff around TGI today, but I also own a, uh, or co-own. Coach training company as well, and we work with leaders to support them to become certified coaches. So I do a lot of work on LinkedIn there for that, uh, coaching topic as well. Okay. So you developed a coaching program that you certified coaches in.

right? That’s right. Yeah. And is it ICF cert accredited program? I think it is. Is I saw that, yeah. Yeah, that’s a big deal. That was that. A lot. That was hard work to do put together. Oh my gosh. You have no idea. Like ICF is so rigorous. I don’t think I wanna know. I mean, I am an ICF certified coach, so that’s why I know to get your program, your coaching program certified or approved, credited by icf.

Um, cuz I know what it took to become an ICF coach. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. It’s, it’s, honestly, it was worth [00:47:00] every second we meet amazing people in this program. Like it is the time of my life. Like we just actually certified another 12 today. They just graduated and it’s just really beautiful to see the connection, as you know, right in the group and that you, you make with people through sharing, you know, your life with people.

It’s pretty cool. Yeah, I mean, going through my, I went through two coaching programs, Positive Intelligence, and then I went through, um, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching, ipec. And, um, and both of those, you know, you just, you think you’re learning coaching, but you’re really, you’re learning a lot about yourself and a lot about how to Yeah.

Lead yourself and coach yourself. You’ve gotta learn that before you can coach other people, and it’s really rigorous. You’re vulnerable and, uh, it, it’s not easy and, um, but so rewarding. And so congratulations on creating, uh, a coaching program that was, uh, certified by, or accredited by icf. That’s awesome.

Thank you. And is your program taking people, [00:48:00] helping them coach this T G I F, um, formula? No, they’re actually two totally separate businesses. Okay. Of course, there’s a lot of, you know, intersection places where they come together. Um, but we have our own, uh, proprietary coaching model and program that we use, uh, for leadership.

Ok. So people that lead businesses or people that are inside a corporation. Because what I notice is a, and my partner noticed is, A lot of the certifications out there are very much more life based, life coaching based. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . And so when we take those as leaders, and I took one and I loved it and I used that in my TGI Today business, but when I tried to apply it inside an organization, I found it kind of tough to, to ground it and bring it down to earth.

Mm-hmm. for business speak. Right. Got it. So we developed a program that’s kind of that cross between that, like that human to human and then also getting business results. Yeah. Um, so it’s bringing that human. To, to the workplace, which is so, so needed. Oh, I love that. That’s awesome. [00:49:00] Yeah. Thank you. So what’s next for you?

Oh my goodness. Uh, just having so, so very much fun working on, um, launching some digital programs for TGI today. Also, I’ve been doing a lot of speaking for TGI today in organizations. So another thing I didn’t intend to do, however, just kind of showed up in my life when someone said, Can you come speak to the, you know, our work about how to find more joy in their life?

And then from there it kind of snowballed. And I started to realize this work actually is super relevant in organizations because, you know, the great resignation is happening. People are leaving their jobs by the droves. Like people just aren’t willing to stand for not being happy at work. Yeah. So organizations are looking to bring this type of.

In to support their people to find more joy, which is just truly amazing. And I’m, uh, just so honored to be part. Oh, that’s awesome. That’s awesome. I love that. I’m so glad we met. It’s like, I think we [00:50:00] connected, You reached out to me, or maybe you’re on Pod Match. I’m not sure, but somehow we connected for doing this and we hadn’t really talked to each other until tonight.

Right. We, what we have, you know, we do similar things and coach in similar areas and uh, it was just such a fun conversation. I’m so glad that we met. Thank you, Emily. Likewise. Yeah. And thank you everybody who watched tonight and who submitted comments. I, we appreciate you and for those of you who listened to this as a podcast.

So, um, Brianne, I’m gonna put you in the, um, green room. So thank you so much everyone. We’re gonna wrap this up. Oh, let me just take off this. So your website, um, is where also they could go to get, um, to reach out to you, like to have you be a speaker, right? . Yes, absolutely can go to your website for that.

Okay. Yeah. All right. That sounds good. So I wanted to make sure that, and then someone made a comment here, What does it say? [00:51:00] Suzanne, Emily and Brianne, I loved your banter in this podcast tonight. Thank you so much. You’re welcome. Susie, you for watching. Thank you for watching. All right. I’ll be right there, Brianne.

So thank you all for watching.

I appreciate you guys. I’ve got a few more shows coming up. there’s one Wednesday this month.

I think it’s like the 18th or something. I wanna say, I’m gonna go on a little trip with my parents as part of creating a life I love living. It’s been their 60th wedding anniversary, so I’m taking ’em on a, on a trip. So I’m, I decided to skip doing an interview that Wednesday. [00:52:00] The Emily, about three years ago, would have figured out a way to still get that interview done cuz you can’t miss a week.

Uh, so there’s just an example of, of how I’ve, um, Paid a lot more attention to how I’m being who I’m being, and I wanna focus on spending time with my parents and enjoying that trip. So that’s what I’m gonna do. And then the last live show is on November 2nd, so hope you can join me there. I’ll just share some thoughts of, you know, three and a half years of doing this podcast and.

You know, like I said, maybe I’ll come back. I don’t know for sure, but I appreciate everyone who watched tonight and everyone who’s listening to this as a podcast, and I hope to see you guys next week. Onward Live is sponsored by Emily Harmon Coaching and Consulting. Visit my website emily harmon.com to learn more about me and my coaching program.

I’d love to help you create a life [00:53:00] you love living. Remember, every adversity is our own personal university. Sometimes the lessons are difficult. And we must learn from our experiences. Vulnerability is your superpower. You are lovable and worthy, and we discuss these topics and more because professional is personal.

Thank you for joining us in engaging with me.