How to Reduce Anxiety & Stress with EFT/Tapping

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Hi, everybody who’s watching today, tonight. And, uh, for those of you who are listening to the podcast, when it’s published as an actual podcast. Welcome, welcome. This is the onward podcast and. It’s all about creating a life you love living. And tonight I’m excited to bring in my guest, Lauren Fonville, and she is an expert in the emotional freedom technique.

I’d heard of EFT tapping, but I didn’t know what it stood for. Emotional freedom technique tapping, which is an alternative therapy for anxiety, PTSD and other [00:02:00] conditions and learning new techniques like this learning how we. You know, help ourselves create, you know, I think that all is like a baseline for creating a life.

You love living. You know, we, we all feel anxiety. We all feel stress and you know, how can we, um, address it and move forward. So Lauren offers a fresh perspective on what’s keeping people. That feeling stuck. What’s keeping us feeling stuck. It could be physically like with chronic pain or it could be emotionally stuck.

And as we’ve talked about before on this show, our underlying beliefs and our emotions, whether we’re aware of them or not can affect our happiness in life. So I’m looking forward to learning from Lauren tonight. So let me bring Lauren.

Welcome. Hi, . Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to have this conversation with you tonight. Yeah, I’m excited too. Um, so first off, why don’t we just talk about like, How you got into this, cuz you were a business coach and now you do this EFT tapping and all other kinds of, you know, alternative ways of healing.

So I’d love to hear your story. Yeah. I came to be doing what I’m doing because of my, my own journey with anxiety and stress and um, my, my search for finding a way to make me feel better. And for me it started with, um, Yoga. And I went on to become a yoga instructor. And then I was learning about, uh, Reiki and I became a Reiki practitioner.

And then I was in a group coaching program and was introduced to this idea of EFT for stress. And I. You know, when I, when I [00:04:00] first heard of this idea of, oh, we’re gonna tap on ourselves and that’s gonna help us feel better physically and emotionally, you know, I’m sure I gave it a pretty big eye roll. I was very, very skeptical.

Um, but then I started, I tried it and I, I felt better and I was very intrigued by that and I just continued to explore it and had one on one sessions and continued to have really. Experiences with it and then went on to get certified so that I could share it with other people. Wow. I, I know what it’s like to get certified.

You’re always studying, right. yes. and you’ve got young kids too. So did mm-hmm and, and, and through all that time you were a, a business coach, right? Yeah. So I was originally in corporate marketing and then that. Kind of led me into doing some freelancing work and then the freelancing led into led into business coaching.

Um, and it like, it, everything kind of organically really unfolded. And [00:05:00] so in working with some of my, some of my clients at that time, you know, as entrepreneurs, we deal with anxiety and stress, of course mm-hmm . And so that, that impacts how you’re showing up in your business. And so when that, you know, inevitably would come up in a session, I started.

Saying, Hey, do you wanna try this, this thing? It may be a little weird, but uh, let’s do a little tapping together. And so, and then my clients started to really, you know, um, have, have some changes from it and that’s when I was like, okay, I I’m, this is more, this is, this is, this is there’s something here. I really need to go get certified.

And that’s what really pushed me, uh, to go get certified. And now I’m, I’m really focusing more on helping people with their. Stress and, and finding that calm within so that they can move forward from that place of peace. Yeah, that’s, it’s definitely needed, especially, you know, after COVID and this return to work or not returning to [00:06:00] work.

And so many things up in the air. And I think a lot of people are feeling anxiety and stress, and there’s a lot of different, you know, ways that, uh, folks can deal with it and, and work on that. But I think the first step is just. Acknowledging that that’s what you’re feeling. Right. And, and understanding that it doesn’t have to be that way.

Um, you could maybe say, well, it’s because of the job or because of this, or because of that, if I didn’t have this stress, then I wouldn’t feel this way, but you, you can change yourself even if the stressor doesn’t change, I think. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And, you know, What is on the surface, what you are identifying as, you know, the thing that’s causing your stress or what you believe is causing your stress.

Right? So for like, for example, maybe it’s that you have a, a deadline at work. And so you’re really stressed out about that. Mm-hmm and while that’s the, maybe at the top of. Top of the list. There are likely a whole slew of things that [00:07:00] are underneath that, that are also contributing to your anxiety and to your stress, right?

Those are maybe your beliefs about the stress or about the situation, or, uh, I know this happened before and this is how it ended up. And so it’s gonna happen this way and it maybe not. So Kara says yes, I started integrating the emotion code of my life coaching and it’s been a game changer for my clients.

Mm-hmm that’s great. Kara, we gotta catch up soon. So, yeah, so, um, and you say this EFT tapping can help with chronic pain. It can help with PTSD. It can help people who are feeling emotionally stuck. Mm-hmm um, maybe can explain it a little bit. Um, yeah. As to what it is. Yeah. So when I describe what EFT is, I often compare it to acupuncture because people are more familiar with acupuncture.

So when you go to an acupuncturist, they take those tiny little needles and they. Place them in [00:08:00] at certain points of the body and with EFT, instead of putting little needles, in we’re, we’re applying Accu pressure to some of those same points and the points we’re applying the pressure to by gently tapping.

are the end points of the meridians and the meridians are how energy moves through the body. And so by acknowledging, and then at the same time, we’re also acknowledging the emotions that we’re feeling by, by speaking aloud, um, phrases related to what’s going on and in doing so, it helps to get that energy moving and helps you to get unstuck.

And it can also help with chronic pain. And I know that that, like, again, Seem like almost too good to be true. Uh, but there is a lot of science behind, um, what is going on inside the body and inside the brain that helps to create that shift and, and really what’s happening happening is that you’re, um, creating new neural pathways in the brain and, [00:09:00] um, and re rewiring how you’re thinking.

And yeah, when you’re able to get a new perspective and think about things differently, you’re of course going to feel differently. So like why aren’t doctors prescribing this? a million dollar question, right? Uhhuh um, you know, , I think that’s, that’s like a loaded question, right? Like I think, you know, doctors, aren’t learning about that in, in, in medical school, mm-hmm, in, in the typical setting.

Um, but I think that at least a lot of the clients that are coming to me, they have tried. All sorts of different things that haven’t worked. And then they happen to see maybe a documentary about EFT or a friend has mentioned it to them and then they, and then they find me. Um, so a lot of the time people are at a point where, Hey, I’ve tried all these different things.

It hasn’t worked. This sounds a little weird, but I’m gonna give it a try. Yeah. And see what happens. And you know, there’s no negative, there’s no negative side effect, uh, with tapping and. [00:10:00] I always, you know, what works for one person isn’t gonna work for every person. So it’s a, it’s a practice of really finding what resonates with you.

And, um, for me, tapping has really been profoundly impacted my life. And I’ve had the honor of, of, uh, working with lots of clients and seeing how it affects them. Mm-hmm um, Yeah, it’s, it’s a powerful practice. Well, I think we, as the quote, unquote, patient, you know, need to take our own health into our health, into our own hands.

Like, I think I mentioned this a few months ago on a podcast. My hips were really hurting and I went to the doctor and, you know, they did an x-ray, you know, I do have some arthritis, but it’s not that bad. And so, I mean, they were really, I was really in pain, but he didn’t really ask. Okay, like, what’s your typical day?

How much are you? I mean, I do exercise. I’m thin I look in shape. So he probably thought, well, she’s in shape, she exercises, but you know, so what I had to do, you know, I should have done [00:11:00] earlier is just like analyze my day. And I realize, you know, I think, I feel like I’m sitting too much and I need to, I wanna add more stretching and yoga into my day.

You know, that saved me a lot of money from like going to PT or whatever. And I noticed that from the yoga, I started feeling a lot better and I just went on a trip and visited my daughter for a week and I was sitting on a plane and just didn’t get in. We went to a. A, um, warm spring spa, which was nice, but I didn’t really do much yoga.

And so I noticed my hips are kind of aching a little bit again. So, um, you just gotta do some experiments with yourself and figure out what works. And so why not try EFT tapping right. Ex yeah, exactly. It’s really a practice of, of tuning into your body and listening and listening to your body. And, and when we talk about, uh, chronic pain, a lot of the time there are.

Emotional components and contributors to physical pain, even, even when there is, you know, a physical [00:12:00] reason for the pain. Like, let’s say you were in a car accident, right? Mm-hmm and now you have like this neck pain, um, even with that. You know, that of course can be, that can be anxiety inducing in and of, of itself.

Cuz maybe then you’re constricted and you can’t do the things that you wanna do. And then maybe you have fears around, oh, well if I do this, am I gonna be in pain? Am I not gonna be able to do this? And so then we have all of these thoughts around, around these feelings and you kind of get caught in this cycle or this loop of like anxiety and fear and pain, anxiety, fear, pain.

Yeah. And, um, and. When we are able to. Really allow ourselves to feel some of that fear and feel some of that anxiety. We can then release it because I feel like as humans, you know, we don’t like feeling intense emotions like sadness, anger, frustration. We, that’s not an enjoyable thing, right? No. So you can do what I used to do, which is just stay really busy and never feel it.

Exactly. No, [00:13:00] that’s exactly right. What I, I refer to it as stuffing. We stuff it down our bodies and we distract ourselves with something else mm-hmm . And while that can work in the short term, in the long term, it always ends up catching up with you. Whether that, you know, you get to that point where it’s like, get so high that you’re going to, it’s going to come out in some way, either emotionally.

Or sometimes physically, and I think a really great example of that is with stress, you know, um, 99% of the time when I ask someone, when, where do you, where do you feel your anxiety in your body? Where do you, when you’re stressed out, where do you feel that in your body, most people will have an immediate response to that.

You know, and sometimes it’s, or oftentimes it’s the neck and the shoulders that tension in the neck and the shoulders. Sometimes people get, you know, migraines or, or stomach aches. And so it. In different ways, but it’s not just with anxiety and, and stress that we hold onto things physically like that it’s with every emotion.

And when we don’t take the [00:14:00] time to. Acknowledge hold space and really feel into these things. They just continue to build up and, and tapping is really a beautiful, gentle practice that allows you to tune into really how you’re, how you’re feeling and in doing so allows you to release some of these emotions that are, um, you know, stuck in the.

Yeah, I feel like I say this on almost every episode, but one of my guests a few years ago said when you shove your feelings to the basement, they lift weights mm. Yeah. And they get stronger and they, you know, they build up and, you know, they’re gonna come out at some in some way. Somehow. Yeah. It’s like a rocket ship, right?

It’s like, yeah, it’s gonna come out. And I mean, I always like to like to tell people this, that the definition of emotion is energy in motion. Our emotions want to move. They want to move. They do not want to be stuck, stuck down [00:15:00] and they can move when we acknowledge them, they can’t move when we’re ignoring them.

And so. Taking the time to say, to tap on these, these points and to say out loud, how you’re feeling. That in and of itself can begin to create a shift because sometimes we, or a lot of the time we are thinking the same thoughts over and over and over every day. And, um, and sometimes we’re not, you know, saying those out loud to anyone, we’re just saying them to ourselves.

And so taking the time to say it out loud, something that feels really true at the onset of a, of a, a practice then can begin to feel like, oh, that’s not so true. Oh, That’s even silly, you know? Yeah. Um, and so you think about it differently because it’s, it’s, it’s a perspective shift. You’re kind of, I always think of like a camera and when you’re, when you’re zoomed in on something, you can only see that little bit in the, in the photo.

But when you zoom out, you have a whole new view and, and that’s what tapping can help you [00:16:00] do. Oh, I love that. So, I mean, when you are really busy and stuff and stuff like that, how do you recommend somebody make time to. You know, notice their feelings and, and those thoughts. Yeah. Um, and I can totally relate to being really busy.

Right. I think, um, I think it’s being mindful of, of, of how we’re physically feeling too, because a lot of these things do begin to manifest physically. I always would, will recommend, uh, a daily. You know, mm-hmm, my, my daily practice. I includes EFT and, um, and some journaling. Um, and I try to do yoga multiple times a week, but you have to have some sort of regular, regular practice mm-hmm and, uh, helping you to really tune into how you’re feeling.

Um, and in the beginning, maybe it’s just a few minutes and maybe it’s doing something that you’re already doing. I will always tell people. if you’re somebody who gets up and [00:17:00] takes a shower in the morning, you can tap while the shampoo is in your hair. Like yeah. , you can do a little multitasking. Right. Um, but…The more, and the more you, you practice it, the easier it becomes.

And the more likely you are to use it in those situations where you are really stressed and really overwhelmed.  Because this is a tool that can be used both proactively and reactively. So you can use it daily in your routine, but then you can also take it out during those times when you feel that anxiety starting to build up, or somebody says something to you that really triggers you, and you just feel the, you know, the anger start to rise.

Like you can, you can have this tool literally at your fingertips that can, help you reduce the amount of cortisol in your body because that’s what tapping does. Like, as you’re tapping on these points, it’s sending a message to the amygdala in the brain, which is the part of the brain that controls fight or flight.

And you know, that part of the brain is there to protect us in those situations where we need to [00:18:00] fight back or run away. But when we’re talking about anxiety and stress is particularly chronic anxiety and stress, it’s like that amygdala, that alarm is constantly going off. Right. And then that’s creating all of that cortisol, that’s going into your body.

And sometimes that begins to feel normal if you’re in that state of chronic stress all the time. Yeah. You think this is, is just the way life is. Right, right. yeah. And so when you tap, it’s been shown Dr. Peta Stapleton did a study on this, and it’s been shown that when you tap it’s it reduces the amount of cortisol by up to 43%.

I mean, that’s a really, really big number. Yeah. Um, and so, you know, if you, even if I always tell people, even if you just find one, one point, one of these tapping points that you really you know, are, are drawn to, because I find that most of my clients have a favorite have a favorite point. Um, and in those moments of feeling really overwhelmed, you just do a little bit of tapping or even holding pressure on the one point and doing [00:19:00] some deep breathing, it’s gonna.

The amount of cortisol and, uh, you’re gonna begin to feel calmer. And when you can feel calmer, you can think more clearly. Yeah. When you think more clearly you can make good decisions and you feel better. So, yeah, for sure. So let’s just say that, you know, you’re, you’re really stressed at work. Um, people aren’t getting along and there’s a lot of drama, I don’t know.

And it’s just every time you’re going to work, you feel, you feel stressed, um, or anxious. Like, what would you recommend somebody do? Like how do they do this EFT tapping? Yeah. So the way that it works, right? So if somebody came to me with, with that problem, mm-hmm , we would have a little chat about it, and then it, the most important, one of the most important things with tapping is really using your, using your own words.

So. You know, in that, in that example that you gave, we could maybe make a sentence. That’s like, even though I get anxious at the start of the day or when I’m driving to work, that’s just how it is. Or even though I have [00:20:00] all of this anxiety and I feel it in the morning, I love and accept myself. You come up with phrases and you use those phrases as you’re tapping on the.

And as you’re doing, so other thoughts are going to come up along the way sometimes, um, sometimes they’re past memories that you are going to try and make sense of yeah. And sometimes, you know, and, and sometimes it doesn’t make sense. Like you have, um, you know, maybe you have a memory from, from childhood, just kind of pop up what feels like out of the blue.

I promise you, there is some sort of connection there. And so it’s really, uh, a process of connecting the. And, um, just seeing, seeing where it goes. And when you do this work, you know, if, if we’re talking about like feeling anxious at work, you would give it a number. Uh, you would rate it on a scale of one to 10.

Like how intense is that anxiety in, in my body right now. Um, and then we would continue to tap and talk and then check in and see how that [00:21:00] number goes down. So you. Uh, just have that, have that reference point as you continue to move through the practice, because it’s pretty, it’s pretty phenomenal how, how it can work and how you, and then you can, I mean, I know I, when I was first introduced to it, I was blown away with, I was like, what?

Like, I actually feel better. yeah. So does somebody. Can you show us, like where you do the tapping or is that something that someone needs to hire a coach to learn or no, you, we could definitely do it now. Um, and there’s, you know, there’s tons of YouTube videos out there. I always just like to remind people that, um, if you’re doing a tap along video, you know, on, on YouTube and the words that the practitioner is using don’t necessarily resonate with you, Uhhuh , um, , you know, make them your own change, the words so that they do resonate with you because that’s an important part of this is really, um, allowing yourself to feel your feelings.

And, you know, it’s not always the case that what the practitioner [00:22:00] is saying is gonna match up with exactly how you’re feeling. Um, but yeah, we could totally, we could totally do, uh, a little bit of tapping now and show you where the points. Okay. All right. So, um, a good, a good way I think, or introduction to it is, um, is if everybody, like, if you just pause and, and take a nice deep breath in and notice, um, the tension, like the quality of your breath.

If there’s tension in your breath, does it feel choppy? Um, does it feel smooth? Like how, uh, challenging is it to get a full breath in? So if it was really challenging for you, it would be a 10. And if it wasn’t challenging, it would be like a zero. Okay. And then we’ll do a little bit of tapping and then you can check back in and see if it’s a little bit easier to get that full breath in.

Okay. Because a lot, oftentimes the. I, I feel like focusing on something physical. It’s a little bit easier to tell when you’re first starting with, with tapping. Okay. [00:23:00] Okay. So, yeah, so, uh, just take a nice deep breath in and give yourself a, a number. And sometimes people struggle with the number. And so if you, if you’re one of those people, you know, it’s kinda like the pain scale.

When you go to the doctor, like where are you on the fade scale? Um, it can just be a little bit medium, a lot. It’s just so that you have that point of. Okay. Okay. So for me, when I take a deep breath in right now, I kind of feel tightness in my ribs. Um, what about you? What do you feel? Kind of tightness up closer to my top, to my chest chest.

Okay. Okay. So we’re gonna use your, we’re gonna use your, your words. Okay. And then I’m gonna. Show you where the points are. And then I will say a sentence and then you will just repeat the sentence and tap where I tap. Does that sound good? Should I move the screen so peop we could see better. Do you think you see, um, sure.

Let’s try that. Yeah. Okay, perfect. Okay. So the first point is on the pinky side of the hand, now you can use either hand. [00:24:00] I tend to tap with my right, cuz I’m a righty, but the pinky side of the hand mm-hmm and we’re just gently tapping and we’re gonna say a phrase three times here. So, um, and then if I ever say anything that doesn’t feel true to you, uh, feel free to let me know and we can change the words.

Okay. So even though I feel this tightness in my chest, even though I feel this tightness in my chest, I’m honoring how I feel. I’m honoring how I feel, even though I feel this tightness in my chest, I love and accept myself. Even though I feel this tightness in my chest, I love and accept myself. Even though I feel this tightness in my chest.

That’s just how it is. Right. even though I feel this tightness in my chest, that’s just how it is right now. The next point is at the top of the head, there’s just the center crown of the head. Mm-hmm, this tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest. And then we’re gonna go to the start of the [00:25:00] eyebrows, this tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest.

And then we’re gonna go to the side of the. This tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest. And just pause here and take a nice breath in and notice how you’re feeling. Yeah. It’s not as tight. Mm mm-hmm and then we’re gonna go under the eyes, this tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest, and then under the nose, this tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest.

And then onto the chin crease, this ti tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest, and then the collarbone. So right under the collarbone on the fleshy part of the mm-hmm skin, this tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest. And then we’re gonna go under the arm. So on the side of the, on the side of the body.

So for women [00:26:00] kind of the center of the bra strap, mm-hmm , and for men, it’s probably about two and a half, three inches down from the armpit, this tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest. And then the last point is on the back of the hand, between the pinky and the ring finger, this tightness in my chest, this tightness in my chest.

And then pause right there and take a nice deep breath in. And you can notice if there’s any difference in the tightness. If anything else came, came up. If I, you know, when we’re first getting started with tapping, oftentimes people will tell me, like, I’m so focused on like tapping in the spot and saying the right thing, you know, but the more you get used to doing this, the easier that part becomes.

And the more you’re able to kind of tune into your body. And a lot of the time thoughts that are in the subconscious mind can come up. Um, you know, like I said, memories can come up and, uh, you know, the goal. [00:27:00] Is obviously to get that number to go down, but what we’re doing here is we’re focusing on, on, you know, where we are right now.

So we’re acknowledging the tightness that we feel instead of shoving it down or getting busy. Right. And ignoring it. And the yes, exactly. And the idea is that is that we will authentically move towards that better feeling or thought when we’re ready. So, um, you. How do you feel right now? What do you, what was your number to begin with and what is your number now?

I’d say it started out as like a seven and then it was a four or okay. Seven was high. Yeah. The high. Yeah. Yeah. So, and that, I mean, that was just one round of tapping. Yeah. And so for those people that, um, you know, notice, notice a difference like Emily did. That’s awesome. Right. Um, and other people might not notice a difference after just one round of tapping and that’s totally fine.

You just need to continue, continue to do it. Um, and, [00:28:00] and it, it’s just this process of gently moving towards the better feeling or thought so it’s different than, okay. I’m, I’m noticing the tightness and then I’m just gonna. Switch over and say a positive affirmation of like, it’s the easiest breath of my life.

Right. That you don’t believe that. Yeah. Right, right. That’s exactly it, because it doesn’t feel true. Right. Right. And so it’s just that, that ability to, to move in that direction when, when you’re ready, because when we’re dealing with emotional stuff, like if you’re dealing with really intense sadness, You know, it’s not, it, it’s not reasonable to think that you’re suddenly gonna be at the other end of the spectrum and, and be really, really happy.

But maybe the better thought is, you know, I’m really sad, but I’ve been really sad before, and I know it’s gonna get better, right? Yeah. Or like when you’re going through a divorce, this would be helpful. Mm-hmm um, and that’s when you said maybe it’s not gonna go right away right away. It’s like that kind of a pain doesn’t go away right away.

Right. Um, right. [00:29:00] Yeah. And this allows you to sit with, with where you are and really have what you’re having so to speak. And, um, and we. We have to heal it. We have to feel it to heal it. And, um, and this is a beautiful practice of allowing yourself to, to feel it. And it meets you where you are. So that was one, you said it was one round of tapping.

Yeah. And is it also one way of tapping and there are other ways or is it always, um, you say the thing and then you say the more positive thing and then. You went and just kept saying what I was feeling now is what I was saying a lot. Yeah. Is that this you can, you hit those same points every time. Yes.

Yes. Okay. You get those same points every time. If any of those points, you know, if tapping on any of those points is bothersome for you, skip it. You don’t have to, if, you know, cuz some people like maybe they have sinus issues and tapping on the face is uncomfortable. Mm-hmm if that’s the [00:30:00] case, skip that point.

So there really is no wrong way of tapping. Um, but when you’re getting, when you’re, when you’re getting started, I always recommend, you know, really, um, really, um, Tuning in and focusing on that main emotion that that’s coming up for you. So in that case, we, we were focusing on the, on the restric. Yeah. And just staying with that.

So if it was a, if, um, if it was an emotion, you could just say, I’m so sad, I’m so sad or I’m so angry and just keep, and then notice what’s coming up, notice what you feel in your body. And so when you work with the practitioner, the practitioner, um, is really able to, you know, come at it from an outside perspective and also ask a lot of questions, you know, where do you feel that in your body?

What are you. Saying, um, and kind of dissect things a little bit more to help you come up with those phrases and guide you through the practice. Got it. Um, yeah, because sometimes, you know, that’s something that a lot of people say to me, like, I, how do you, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know [00:31:00] what to say.

So that’s why I try to keep it really simple. Just the, the main emotion or the main physical feeling in your body. Try to get as specific as you can. And just stick with those words until another thought comes. Got it. Got it. So Maxine says love, feel it to heal it. yes. I love that too. Right. I love that too.

yeah. And that’s so true. I mean, you know, I I’ve just started in the past three years, I guess, learning about feeling, learning really how to feel and name my feelings. And, and that’s one of the reasons I retired at 56 from the federal government. Cause I just, I. I just knew something was I, I wanted to feel and I was too busy and my job was keeping me too busy and, and all that.

And then when I retired, I was still busy. So I realized, okay, it’s not my job. It’s some of my thoughts and underlying beliefs about how I approach my life. And so I’ve really done a lot of work on myself and, and that’s why the theme of this. Create a life you love living now. Cuz we can say, well, when this [00:32:00] changes or this person would be different towards me, my life would be better.

Oh we, we gotta feel our feelings, know what they are deal and, and, and, and heal them. Yeah. Let, being in the present moment. Right? Like that’s what it’s really all about. And I feel like this is a practice. That can help, that can really help with that. It’s a very grounding practice. I think the somatic part of it of actually physically tapping on the body can be really helpful.

And, um, I’ve found too, it’s particularly helpful for those people that struggle with meditation. You know, those people that come to me and say, I can’t meditate and I have too many thoughts. I can’t turn it off. Well, this is a practice that allows you to acknowledge all of those thoughts. You can say every single one of those thoughts that you’re thinking in your mind and just like.

Tap and talk. That’s really what it’s tap and talk and you’re getting it. You’re getting it out. You’re acknowledging it. And you’ll begin to. Be able to say, like to notice, oh, when I, when I say that I feel this and, and so there really be, gets to be that mind body connection, um, [00:33:00] and that ability to, to tune into, to how you’re feeling and, and then let go of the things that aren’t serving you so that you can feel good in your body because we deserve that.

We all deserve that. For sure we do. Hi, Gabe. Thanks for joining us. He says, hi. Glad to catch you before I have to go live. Gabe goes live every night. I don’t know how he does it. Oh, cool. he’s always got, uh, some guests on and doing some great things and uh, yeah, I hear a little bit of a background noise. I don’t know if my, I don’t have a TV.

I don’t hear anything on my end. Hold on one second.

One second, start talking about something and let me just go check. I think my Alexa went on or something. I think my Alexa went on or something. Hold on. Okay. Uh, well get, uh, Gabe just said, how do you feel about anchoring using tapping? Um, [00:34:00] so yeah, I think, I think tapping is a, is a great way of really grounding yourself and being able to breathe into.

How you’re feeling and coming back to coming back to the, the present moment. So I think it’s a wonderful tool for, for anchoring and ground. Yeah. Yeah, my Alexa was on . We didn’t even, I don’t wanna say that name again. tap and talk. Indeed. How do you feel about anchoring using tapping? Is that what you just discussed?

Yeah, that’s what I was just saying. That it just, it’s such a, it’s such a calming practice and it’s such a gentle practice. And I think, I think the somatic part of, of tapping helps to bring you what I like to say or refer to as coming home to yourself and. And breathing, you know, reminding you to take those deep breaths and, and just tap, tap, and breathe and doing so is gonna help to reduce that cortisol and calm, calm the body, calm the mind.

Yeah. It’s similar to something that I coach in, which is positive intelligence, which is [00:35:00] where, you know, you do these short PQ reps. Um, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but you might like you start to feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and you. Close your eyes and rub your fingers together. And when your mind starts to wander, you bring it back.

It’s kind of another way of creating a new neural pathway in your brain to not have that reptilian brain just sabotaging us sing, you know, danger, danger, danger. Okay. Is it really danger? How do we right. Slow down and just. Feel what we’re feeling, take a breath. Um, so I just encourage everybody who’s watching and listening, uh, now and in the future to just try different ways and see what works for you.

For some people, it is meditating. I had a hard time meditating. My coach is like, I want you to meditate for 40 days straight. How many, how many. How much time do you have? And the check boxes were like four, 15 minutes, 30 minutes an hour or something. And I wanted to say an hour, cuz I like to achieve, [00:36:00] but right.

I knew I could, I wouldn’t do an hour. So I said, all right, 15 minutes, I can do that. And it took me the longest time. Every time I’d see her, she’d say, what day are you on? I say two. Because you don’t understand, I’m busy. I don’t have time. And so the, you know, like the me, I mean, I finally did it and I learned how that, how good that made me feel.

So just like you, you did a lot, you started off with a lot of experimenting, like what works for me? Right. Don’t give up. If, if meditation, isn’t the thing that works for you, or if tappings not what works for you, keep trying. Yes that, oh, that’s like a hundred percent what I say all the time. It’s, don’t, don’t give up on, on, on that, you know, and it’s a it’s if, if you are getting what I call, like little soul nudge, nudges, or little taps, you know, and maybe it’s like, you see a flyer about something or you see an ad for something.

And you’re like, oh, that sounds interesting. In fact, something’s coming up continually. It’s not it it’s for, it’s not for you to ignore it. It’s for you to explore it. So when you know, different modalities [00:37:00] are, are around, check it out, see what works for you. Yeah. Because you know why not? right. We wanna feel good.

So we have a LinkedIn user asking, can you do one more tapping demonstration? Oh, sure, sure. Um, so let’s do, maybe let’s just do it on, on anxiety. Okay. Right. So tune into something that’s causing anxiety for you. Um, and again, notice where it is on that scale of one to 10. And, um, and it could be something, you know, something silly, something like, uh, something that annoys you.

Um, I like the first thing I think of is like, if your husband, you know, squeezes the toothpaste, the the wrong way, right? Like anything, um, And just notice how that notice, where it sits in the body. And then we’re gonna come to the pinky side of the hand again. And we’ll say, [00:38:00] even though I feel this anxiety in my body, even though I feel this anxiety in my body, I love and accept myself.

I love and accept myself. Even though I’m feeling anxious, even though I’m feeling anxious, I’m honoring how I feel. I’m honoring how I feel. even though I’m feeling anxious. I love and accept myself, even though I’m feeling anxious, I love and accept myself. And then we’re gonna move to the top of the head, all of this anxiety, all of this anxiety coming to the eyebrows, I’m feeling anxious.

I’m feeling anxious sides of the. I’m feeling anxious, I’m feeling anxious. And then as we say that, notice if there’s a particular area of the body where you, where you feel this under the eyes, all of this anxiety, all of this anxiety under the nose, [00:39:00] all of this anxiety, all of this anxiety.

all of this anxiety I’m carrying in my body, all of this anxiety I’m carrying in my body.

And as we tune into that anxiety, think about how long you’ve been holding onto that anxiety. And then we can say all of this anxiety I’ve been holding onto all of this anxiety I’ve been holding onto. and then we’re gonna go underneath the arm, all of this anxiety, all of this anxiety. And then the back of a hand between the pinky and the ring finger, all of this anxiety in my body, all of this anxiety in my body.

And then we can pause there and take a nice deep breath in. And let it go and notice what that brought up for you. And maybe it brought up the, [00:40:00] you know, more thoughts around other things that are causing anxiety in your life. Maybe you really were able to tune into where you feel it in your body and you made some sort of connection between a physical sensation and the anxiety.

And so again, this is kind of just like a sneak peek into what, uh, what tap a tapping session looks like. You know, again, it’s, it’s then asking more questions and diving a little bit deeper. And, um, and you just, I think what I love about tapping is that you never really know where a session is gonna go, because you never know like what the mind is going to bring up.

And, um, and it can be a really, really powerful exp experience and a really healing experience. So it’s kinda. Um, yes, you can do it yourself without a coach. However, sometimes we don’t know our blind spots. Right, right. And we don’t, we don’t ask ourselves the questions that a coach would ask, so right. You, you might be able to.

Get [00:41:00] to a better understanding of your feelings and stuff through working with you. Who’s also doing the coaching and the asking of the questions and increasing the awareness of the client. Um, yeah. Yeah. And for somebody who’s just getting started, I would always recommend, you know, working, working with a practitioner to, you know, Help you, you know, not only tune in and, and ask those questions, but, you know, it’s always my intention when working with my clients to really empower them, to feel more comfortable to do this work on their, on their own mm-hmm , um, and, and have a, have a daily practice and even clients that I’ve, um, you know, that I’ve worked with for a, a long time.

They, they still want. That guidance and that, and that support in that way, because like you just said, you don’t know your blind spots and it’s helpful and really healing to have somebody else hold that space for you. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Thanks for us. Nice to see you. Good conversation. He says very important.

Yeah, it is. Um, I’m wondering, you said, uh, Lauren, that you have two children, [00:42:00] age is 10 and 12. Do you teach them tapping? I do. I do. I actually, um, just came out with. Uh, minicourse. That is for, that is free through tomorrow. Um, and, or the Friday, the, the second. And, um, is that it the five day mini the mindset reset or, no, no, that’s actually another one that I have another one cause I made it after, but it’s um, it’s about specifically for anxiety, um, anxiety and stress around going back to school for both parents and children, because it’s such a.

It’s such a stressful time. And I think it’s particularly difficult when your child has anxiety, you know, and then, and then you get anxiety because your child is having anxiety about school. Yeah. And they, and they, you know, we all, as humans, we feed off of each other’s energy. And so tapping can be really a really, really helpful tool for kids.

Um, and, um, the, the link for that, if anybody’s interested is mind shift with [00:43:00] lauren.com/. Back dash two dash school. Oh. Back to school. Okay. Yeah. And then there’s your website. So they would be able to find it there too. Yeah. Right. Mind shift with lauren.com. Absolutely. Okay. But yeah, it should be really helpful for, for kids.

And, and one other thing, like we, we went over the points that we did, but in addition to those points, just like how with acupuncture, there are acupuncture points all over the body for kids in particular. I like to, uh, tell people about the finger points. So if you squeeze just at the base of the finger of every single finger, um, you know, it can just look like you’re fidgeting, but you’re squeezing at the base of the fingers.

That’s doing that same thing as tapping on, on, on the. And so for kids, I’ll tell my kids, like if you’re feeling anxious, you know, maybe before a test or something’s going on, just put your finger hands underneath your desk and just squeeze those points and take some deep breaths and it can, you know, yeah.

It can be helpful our kids, but it can be helpful for adults too. If you’re in a conference room and. [00:44:00] Somebody saying something really triggering. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And you don’t wanna tap on your head or under your arm or right. You don’t have everybody looking at you. Like what is that crazy lady doing?

Yeah. . Hi, Elizabeth. Thank you for joining us from, uh, Chile. Appreciate that. Yeah. So at what age do you think you could teach a, a child? I’m thinking I could teach my, you know, not, not that I could teach him, but my seven, my six year old grandson could learn this he’s. Yeah, definitely. And you know, with, with little ones, it’s also fun.

You can like. Take a little stuffed animal and you can do the tapping on the, on the stuffed animal to, to teach them. There’s also something called surrogate tapping. So if you’re having a really little one, like maybe someone, a little one, that’s like having tantrums all the time, you can do the tapping on yourself.

Um, and it can be helpful for them, for them as well. And, and the way that, that. Kind of what I was saying before about like how our energy, you know, we feed off of each other’s energy. Um, so you could do [00:45:00] tapping about how it makes you feel that you’re seeing your, your child hurting or having these tantrums or getting little upset, um, and, and work through your own emotions around the situation.

First. Um, and then you can tap as if, you know, like what you think your child would say. And it’s very interesting how then after doing that kind of work, then something will shift and you might, and you, you will likely see a difference in the, the child’s behavior or, or, you know, Yeah. Mm-hmm yeah, because, I mean, you said, I would say like, energy is contagious, right?

Yeah. If I came to this interview all pissed off and stressed, you’d start to maybe feel that way too. Right. Right. So, you know, exactly the kids can pick up on our stress and our anxiety. So if we can, uh, do that, then you know, that that can definitely help them. I love that. Yeah. Um, Let’s see. So I’ve got a lot of captions here to put up for you.

You’ve um, we’ll, we’ll just go through ’em real quick. And if anybody watching has any [00:46:00] questions, please feel free to, uh, post them. And we’ll, we’ll ask Lauren, but I’ve got your email address, Lauren at Lauren. fonville.com and then people can connect with you on LinkedIn. Of course. And then you have a couple of courses, you’ve got this, uh, five day mindset reset, which they can get from your website.

And then you also have a masterclass. Yeah. So the masterclass really goes into, uh, detail about the science behind it. It goes through a full practice and that’s totally free. And, um, so if you’re curious, you wanna learn more about it? I would, I. Start there. And, um, yeah, if you have any questions along the way, please feel free and, and reach out.

I just love sharing this work. It’s had such a profound impact on my life. I just love sharing it with other people and this mindset reset. What is that? What’s, what’s the difference between that and the masterclass? Yeah. So the masterclass is more of like an intro introduction to EFT and what it is, how it works, what it can help with.

[00:47:00] And the mindset reset is, um, a five day. Uh, will you get an email a day for five days with a tapa long video and the videos will, um, go through, you know, trying to help you reset, reset your mind. reset your okay mindset. Got it. And, uh, feel, feel better and, and, uh, move, move forward. Yeah. And give you a taste of what it’s like.

Exactly. Yeah. To do this. Okay. And then you have a Facebook page, um, with your name Lauren Ville mm-hmm and then Instagram as well. Yeah, Instagram Lauren, Nicole with a it’s a zero for the for the, uh, okay. and you also have YouTube channel where you put your videos, is that yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so if you go to my website, you can see all the videos, um, on, on my website and, um, and then you can also, I, you can sign up for my weekly newsletters there and I send those, I send those videos out with, um, some information on a weekly.

So would you recommend that, like after [00:48:00] tapping somebody journal? What are some kind of journaling cues or some things that people should journal about afterwards? One of my favorite is “How are you feeling and what are you thinking about?” Those are, those are two questions that, not just with journaling, but … I like setting an alarm on my phone and beginning to … it really helps to make that connection between the mind and the body.

Like, what am I thinking about and how am I feeling? And if I’m feeling good, great, what am I thinking about? Let’s do more of that. And I’m, if I’m not. What am I thinking about? And how can I shift that? Oh, I love that. How often do you set your alarm?  I’ll go through periods where I’ll do it. I’ll do it every day.

Just kind of, as a reminder to check in. I’ll tell people, set it at a different time, you know, at different times. Okay. So that, you know, cuz sometimes if you’re, if you’re setting it at the same time every day, you’re kind of doing the same thing. So [00:49:00] it’s interesting to kind of like switch it out. Yeah.

And see, but, um, and then, you know, and then journaling. About that. Um, and beginning to make more of those, more of those connections, more of those connections, just increasing your awareness. I was in a meeting the other day and we started off with this. We went around the room and we answered these three things:

We said: my mind is.. my body is…. and my heart is. And so that’s just another way of bringing awareness to how you’re feeling. Um, I love that. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. My mind is my body is my heart is I love that too. I wrote it down just to, and then I like your idea of, you know, just setting a timer every once in a while, and mm-hmm, saying, oh yeah.

Because if, if you set it for 10 every day, every morning, you’re gonna be like, oh, it’s 9 45. Let me get my thoughts straight right. But when it just goes off periodically, you’re not really sure. You’re not gonna be aware. And you be like, ah, yeah, that’s what I’m thinking. Cause we, we think so many thoughts [00:50:00] a day.

What is it like 70,000 and most of them not aware of, and sometimes we repeat those same thoughts. So if we want to change our, our outer world, It, we need to change our inner world. Mm-hmm be aware of it. Right. I think, um, I think it, you know, we talk a lot about how like the outer world impacts our inner world, right?

All like the chaos of everything going on outside. It impacts how we feel inside. But I think it’s also important to remember that our inside world has the ability to be just as if at, just as impactful, if not more impactful on the external world. Right. Like if you’re coming from that. Of peace and grounding.

That’s going to in impact your interactions with other people and how you’re showing up and, and how your day’s gonna come out. Yeah. I read a book called Untethered Soul and in that book, he talks a lot about how a lot of our stress and anxiety [00:51:00] and stuff is, is because we’re. of our reactions to what is, and wishing what is would be different.

And if we can be more accepting and let that energy just flow through us, then we don’t have it all stuck in our body. Yeah. It doesn’t show up as disease or disease. Yeah. Yeah, no, exactly. And like, you know, we spend as humans, I think a lot of time worrying, you know, it’s like worrying about the future, right.

Or regretting the past. Yeah, and we need to just be present and in, and in the present moment. So, you know, recognizing when you’re doing that and coming back to the present moment, right? So that tapping brings you to the present moment. And like in that program, my coach on that positive intelligence, those what he calls PQ reps is to, is to bring you to the present moment.

And when you’re doing that, you’re creating, like you had said earlier, new neural pathways in your mind, you’re teaching your mind to not go to that. [00:52:00] place every time when this stressor comes, like when my husband doesn’t put the toothpaste cap on, you know, you’re used to going this way, you can actually train your mind to.

Not have that be something that causes anxiety. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And I mean, uh, it’s like the idea with how tapping can help with, with PTSD because, you know, you have some sort of trigger that’s happening in the present moment. That’s basically, you know, bringing you back in time so that your physical body is experiencing what it experienced when it originally went through the trauma mm-hmm

And so tapping helps to create this space between. The, um, memory of what happened. It’s not gonna change the memory or anything like that, but it’s going to create this space between the memory and the physical sensation in the body, so that eventually you can get to a point where you can be exposed to that trigger and then not have that physical reaction and got it.

Um, I mean, and that can be obviously life changing for [00:53:00] people. There was a study that was, that was done on veterans that, um, That had PTSD and they did tapping for six weeks once a week, um, for an hour. And, um, by the end of the six. 90% of the people in that group had a reduced, um, had reduced PTSD symptoms.

Wow. And then they, yeah. I mean, that’s huge. And then they checked in with them three months later and again, six months later and the reduction was, was still there. I mean that’s so you said they were doing the tapping for an hour cuz when we did it, we were just doing it for a short time. Like how, yeah.

How long when you’re working with your clients, like how long are they tapping? Yeah. So in, uh, in the program that I start, my clients often it’s an eight week program and, um, we meet once a week for an hour and we, and we tap. Um, and I know that, you know, when you’re first being introduced to this, it’s like an hour of tapping.

That sounds insane, you know, but it really, it really goes fast and [00:54:00] it, um, and it just naturally, it just naturally unfolds. Yeah. Yeah. So you do that with people in a group. um, I, or is that one on one? Yeah, I do. Um, but when I’m, when I’m starting with my clients, we typically are working one on one, one on one.

Okay. Mm-hmm awesome. Well, so people can reach out to you by going to your website, right? Yes. Um, which is mind shift with lauren.com or they can connect with you on LinkedIn or email [email protected]. Yeah, absolutely. I am here to answer any questions. okay. Uh, any last minute, uh, piece of advice that you wanna give before we end the show?

yeah, I would just say, you know, the answers all lie within, they are all there and sometimes we just need a little help accessing them and tapping is a tool that can help you do that. Yeah. Awesome. That’s great. Well, thank you so much, Lauren, for being on the show and put you in the green [00:55:00] room for a minute as we end this show.

Awesome. Thank you so much for having me. All right.

Thank you for those who watched tonight and joined us and, uh, commented in the chat. I’ll probably miss somebody, but Russ and Elizabeth and Kara and Gabe and Maxine and Florence. And Tim really appreciate you guys, uh, for showing up tonight and, um, I’ll be live again next. And I’m gonna be live pretty much, most Wednesdays.

There’s gonna be a few that I’m missing, but between now and the end of October, and then after that, I’m ending the onward podcast, uh, after three and a half of years of this, I think it’s just time to, to, to move on to something else. So I’m looking forward to that. I’m not sure what’s exactly gonna be next.

It might be. I think a lot of it is just creating more free time for myself, cuz Hey, I am retired. And I also wanna have more time to coach my clients, cuz I, I really love doing that. I also love [00:56:00] doing this podcast. I learned from every single guest and I really enjoyed learning from Lauren tonight. And I’m sure you did too.

So thank you Lauren. And I’ll see you all again. Next week. Onward live is sponsored by Emily Harmon, coaching and consulting. Visit my website, Emily harmon.com to learn more about me and my coaching program. I’d love to help you create a life you love living. Remember every adversity is our own personal university.

Sometimes the lessons are difficult. And we must learn from our experiences. Vulnerability is your superpower. You are lovable and worthy, and we discuss these topics and more because professional is personal. Thank you for joining us in engaging with me and my guest. I look.