Reconnecting to Your Inner Wisdom

[00:00:00] So tell us about your coaching and you know, who are the who’s your target audience and the clients that you help? Sure. So my target audience. I focus primarily on leaders, directors to C-suite in smaller mid-sized firms 50 to 2000 employees approximately. And I do that just because they’re the ones who are usually large enough to be seeking outside support for coaching and not so big that they have inside programming that they’ve develop.

But I’m really particularly interested, especially because of my experience and those who want to consciously shape their, their, the second half of their life, the rest of their career. They’re really at a, at a pivot point in their career. They’re saying, okay, I’ve achieved a certain amount, but something is missing.

There’s a yearning that I’m feeling. There’s a longing that keeps coming up. And when I pause long enough and I can feel it. And so those who are really interested in, in [00:01:00] being guided on that journey of self discovery, code discovery, perhaps re-discovery and just sort of saying, so what’s next for me? How am I supporting myself?

How am I supporting those around me? What’s the legacy I want to leave

Welcome to onward. Live a live stream, focused on encouraging you to create a life you love living. Now let’s go beyond success to significance, being clear on our why is crucial. It requires doing the inner work, finding ourselves, getting to know ourselves, embracing our inner child.

Shedding social conditioning and letting go of perfect. We know obstacles make us stronger. We can dream big and take action. Believe you can. And you’re halfway there. I invite you to tune in every week and [00:02:00] engage with me and my inspiring guests. Invite your friends. Let’s make time for what matters most in our lives.

Let’s move on together.

Hello. Hello everybody. Thank you. I see we’ve got some people watching and I’m excited to have you here, and I appreciate you. I appreciate all the listeners and thank you to everybody who was there last week for the three year celebration of the onward podcast. Three years, 199th episode. So Thomas you’re the 200th episode that I’ve recorded.

So that’s pretty cool. Today’s June 1st. So three years ago today was my like first day of freedom. I retired on May 31st and then June 1st. So I was. What am I gonna do? It was fun. When I think back at how much I’ve changed since then, it’s amazing. And you know, I just wanted to share a little bit about my coaching.

I’m a [00:03:00] certified core energy coach and the. If you’re on LinkedIn, you’re wondering what what’s EI slash MP. So I’m an energy leadership index master practitioner, which is an assessment I can do that helps us understand the energy that we bring throughout the day to the rooms, not just our physical energy, but our mental energy, our emotional energy, our spiritual energy.

The core energy coaching process recognizes that true change comes from within. And that’s when I had a webinar last night on energy leadership. And one of the things I said is, you know, when I retired and after I’ve started working on myself, the world didn’t change, but I did, I changed on the inside and that changed my whole external world.

And, you know, maybe I’ll do an episode on that. What I mean by that, but tonight we’ve got Thomas Rosenberg in the house and I’m excited to have him here. I met him [00:04:00] through a mutual acquaintance of ours OIG, and it’s so cool. How people just make connections on LinkedIn or through social media. So many new connections have been made through social media and.

That’s a good thing about social media. So I love that about it. Welcome to everybody that’s here at hi Russ. I see you’re here and Christine Smith. Congratulations. 200, but I look so young. Yeah. thank you, Christine. I appreciate that. Let’s bring Thomas in. And one second here. Let me get the graphic right there.

He is welcome. PE. Thank you. Yeah, you’re in California, I think. Right. I am in California and I’m very happy to be your 200th interview. Yeah, it’s pretty cool. If I counted, right. You never know. I’m not that much of an attention to detail person. So you’re a coach too. And you, you said here on what you submitted me, you’re the founder and chief calming officer at regenerate [00:05:00] coaching.

So, you know, I worked for the Navy for 34 years. I never heard of a chief calming officer. I probably could have used one. Maybe you could tell us a little bit about yourself and, and what a chief calming officer does, because I definitely could have used one of those. Yes, it’s it’s it’s the other CCO, right?

So so it, for me, this is a moniker, actually that a friend bestowed upon me, but it’s really helping people connect to their inner wisdom and to find resources that they already have in themselves to calm the uh, in the face of, of stress, of panic, of. Of pressure in everyday life. And so I’m helping people just come back to reconnect with what’s there so that they can support themselves in the moment with the resources that are already inherent in themselves.

Wow. That they may not even know exactly have mm-hmm [00:06:00] well, why’d you get into that line of work? Why I tell us about your background? . Once upon the time? No, in all seriousness, I have always been passionate about helping people grow and transform, and yet to be seen as a man in my family, I felt compelled to follow in much more technically challenging career paths.

I come from a medical and scientific family, and although I knew that I wasn’t going to follow the family into medicine in high school, I was aware of that. I still felt the need to pursue something technically challenging. And yet that ended up with me getting to a place in my career where I was just spinning my wheels.

And eight years ago, actually on the 13th, I will, it’ll be eight years on June 13th. I had a near fatal bicycle accident and traumatic brain injury and some broken bones and [00:07:00] knowing. Because my mom worked in, in occupational therapy and so had experience with rehab. I knew that there was no guarantee how much my brain my cognition would come back.

I worked really hard for two and a half years to make sure that came back, but it was very clear for me after the accident that I was going to be shifting from the technical to the people. And. That really led me towards, towards coaching. It just seemed like a natural fit where I could, instead of sticking myself into somebody else’s box to the point of your, your podcast here, it was really to, how can I bring all of my gifts to the world?

Mm-hmm create a life that I love living. Yeah. Yeah. Why does it have to take for some of us? It took something traumatic for me too. Why does it have to take something like that to get us to wake up?

I feel like on some level we are numbed as [00:08:00] we grow up, you know, we are born into a family and we have to learn the rules of that family. But we’re hardwired for seeking for, sorry for seeking safety, belonging, and dignity. And along the way, some edge of us needs to. Compressed in some fashion so that we can, we can show up and we can feel safe that we belong, that our dignity in some fashion is, is acknowledged.

And we have these narratives, these stories that are told to us by society and. It’s like, well, we have to have this. We have, you know, you have to have, I know for some people it’s like, I have to have the white picket fence. I have to have the house. I have to drive the SUV. I have to have the dog. I have to have the 3.2 kids and, you know, whatever happens to be for you.

But there are messages that we are given about what life is supposed to look like. And then we wake up and it’s like, wait a minute. Is this my path? Yeah. And it doesn’t always have to be traumatic, [00:09:00] but it can be I guess in some cases dramatic, just feeling that wherever that crucible happens to be for some people might be a divorce for other people.

It might have been, for example, one of my clients, it was the pandemic, bringing his kids home for school. And just like, I have this job, da, da, da, da. It’s like, well, wait a minute. How did the kids fit into this? How does my marriage fit into this? And. Sort saying, oh, okay. So there was that compression. Yeah.

And I feel like there, there needs to be some sort of inflection point that doesn’t have to be as traumatic as it was for you and I or or, or dramatic. But at least there needs to be that acknowledgement that what has been the story thus far is not working any longer. It no longer serves who we are and where we want to be and what we wanna live.

Yeah. And sometimes, you know, if it’s not, [00:10:00] sometimes we can fight against that. Right. We can kind of feel something needs to change, kind of think it is. And, and I’m speaking from experience. Maybe be too busy to like, well, no, that can’t not even stop to think. Could it. Should I, could I change what I’m doing?

Mm-hmm could I approach life differently? So some, I think that’s why it’s so important to be calm and not be rushing around, being stressed all the time and busy all the time. Mm-hmm to hire chief calming officer that can help you, like really figure it out, really listen to that inner wisdom.

Mm-hmm yeah. So yeah. So you, you said also, so, I mean, like how did your brain start to come back after having that injury and how, I mean, you were pretty bad off after the accident, right? Yeah. Yeah. It was so I’m very grateful for the osteopathic care that [00:11:00] I received. I’m very fortunate to be able to afford and have access to a phenomenal osteopath here in the San Francisco bay area.

That. Was able to reduce the swelling that was on my brain to help my body calm down, to bring more homeostasis back into the body after such a traumatic but at the same time there was. my, my brain was reset in many ways. My nervous system was reset. So I was struggling with how much time I was spending in front of a screen or how much time I was focused trying to read a, a magazine or a newspaper.

It was a pain to feel the words lodged in my brain. And excuse me, feel a, a connection bet or a lack of connection between there and my. so I could see the word. I could almost imagine the hole that it existed in, in my memory, but I couldn’t get it outta my mouth. Wow. [00:12:00] And you know, so those were the early days and that was really, really scary and challenging.

And I’m also just eternally grateful for the patients of my wife and her support and care. I don’t think I would’ve recovered as well. If it weren’t for. TLC. Yeah. But it, it, you know, it was, you know, constantly challenging myself. And I used to, I, I served in peace Corps in south America, so I was fluent in Spanish before the accident.

And it was, I didn’t know if I was gonna be able to get it back. And it was four years after the accident, almost four years after the accident that we returned to Bolivia for our goddaughter’s. Graduation from medical school. And that’s when the Spanish came back. But I didn’t know if I was gonna be able to do that.

Had you tried like Spanish before you went over there and you just couldn’t remember, and then you went over there and it started to [00:13:00] just come back or what? It was really rusty and jerky. And so I could remember some things and some things flow outta my mouth, very fluidly, other things. It was like, okay, I know that word.

What is that? You know, they just, again, it was the same gap between brain and tongue and like, how do you make the muscles move in that way? How did you, how did you stay calm? How did you not give up? Hm there was a driving need inside of me. Because I knew just from what my mom had shared, seeing some of her patients in rehab when I was growing up that I needed to the sooner I got stuff back, the more possibility there was for it to stick. Okay. And so I pushed myself and again, I’m blessed because when I had the osteopath that I was seeing every two weeks I also had.

Access to my mom and [00:14:00] her experience. And so she could say, well, okay, try to do this. Or, or think about using something like this to support your effort and so on. But it’s, you know, just the multi the multi sensoral stimulation was also a really big challenge for me. It took me. A year before I felt comfortable driving again.

And the first time I drove on the highway, I was absolutely panicked. Yeah. It, it felt it brought me back to when I was 16 and learning how to drive, you know, it’s like, how do I manage this hing piece of metal? You know? And all these people around me, because that was what was actually the most overwhelming strobe lights.

So for police cars in front of me, I have, I like. It’s less of an issue now, but it still bothers me significantly. I have to shield my eyes from it because if it’s for too long, I can’t my, my, my brain just kind of shuts down. It’s just, it really overwhelmed for me. Same, you know, so I, you know, did you ever get back on a bike again?

I did. I have that [00:15:00] was, it took me three years before I started to get on the bike. I remember I actually stopped. Right near where I crashed and told my wife, it took me four years to remember what happened in the last half mile. Wow. So, yeah, but I, I have been riding not as consistently as I used to.

I was a competitive cyclist in college, so but yeah, this is, it’s a journey, right? Wow. Yeah, definitely. And you said that something else that inspired you was. Taking care of a friend mm-hmm who was pass. Yeah. Passing away, I think. Yeah. So right about the time that my brain, I was feeling more confident in my brain.

So 2015 was proving that I had a brain 2016 was proving that it worked basically at the same level as it did before. And it four and in the summer of 2016 a dear friend of ours was diagnosed with a very aggressive case of pancreatic cancer. and she passed within six weeks of that [00:16:00] diagnosis.

And there were eight of us who were supporting her in her transition, which was just an absolutely incredible experience. And eternally grateful for that opportunity. What inspired me about her is how she found ways to share all of her gifts with the world. And she lived so richly. Just to be able to see that and to hear about that and the stories that we were telling each other and the reminiscing that we were sharing, the eight of us.

And I thought, that’s what I want. What am I spending my life energy doing? I want to be able to share all of myself authentically vulnerably fully so that I may really taste life however long I have left. And. why am I trying to squeeze myself into somebody else’s box? And that’s that’s that was [00:17:00] just so clear for me.

And so I just said, I’m gonna follow Casey’s example and I love that. Yeah, yeah. Have having, being by someone’s side, as they’re PA you know, passing away mm-hmm is really. is really life changing. Yes it is. And Christine says you got the term got to get back on the bike. is such a climb of courage in your life.

Mm-hmm yes. And funny that you say that Christine cuz I am a, I am a climber. I’m I’m pretty lightweight. I have for my size and I I go up Hills real easily.

Yeah, well, I was gonna say something else, which is today I was on a podcast. I was being interviewed by a podcast. That’s. It was campfire capitalism. I think a lot of the people that [00:18:00] Desmond interviews are talking about, you know, B2B sales and how to, you know, how to make six figures, seven figures, 10 figures, mm-hmm , I mean you know, 10 million figures, whatever.

And it’s like, you know, what I talked about is who you being while you’re making that money. Mm. You know, because, and I say that because when I worked for the Navy, when I was working, I was like, checking off all the boxes and making sure I got things done and accomplishing, and I didn’t always pay attention to Emily.

Who are you being? And when I saw my kid’s father pass away, I could tell what he was thinking. He was thinking about who he had been being mm-hmm in his life and how he had shown up. And I don’t, and I know that there was many times when. , you know, he, that he regrets in terms of like his relationship with his kids and with me and with others.

You know, work wasn’t important at [00:19:00] all to to him. And he was somebody who was, you know, kind of, I mean, I wouldn’t say a workaholic, but he was really passionate about what he did, you know, helping with spare point parts for the joint strike fighter, you know, logistic stuff for Naval aviation. And, and he worked for the army and aviation.

He was really passionate about that. And there’s nothing that matter of being passionate about that stuff, but I’m telling you, it’s not what you think about when you’re, when you. When you’re sick and mm-hmm and gonna pass away. And so I think sometimes we all need to like one, one of the other things that one of my coaches did today is let us in a meditation za Shain, cuz I’m a positive intelligence coach.

He led us in this meditation where it was about 20 minutes, but we envisioned ourselves meeting with our elder wiser self and asking. What’s important now, you know, what would maybe take a situation to him or her saying, this is what I’m dealing with. What should I do? Go ask your [00:20:00] elder wiser self. What do you think about that?

Absolutely. I, I think that’s I haven’t heard of that exercise, but it makes complete sense to me just in terms of what, if we can tap into that wisdom on a regular basis. What are those resources that we’re skipping? and it also just makes me your comments earlier about, you know, holding space for the father of your, your kid and, and as they passed.

And so just thinking about

two books come to mind. So one is Steven Levine’s a year to. And Steven Levine passed a few years ago, but he spent over 30 years working in hospice. And so a lot of these questions, like what are the regrets? How, what is it that you wanna do when there’s a friend of mine, actually, a fellow coach. Went [00:21:00] through a, a year long book club with around that book.

So they they’re, it’s out there. And it’s just fascinating to see what that can bring up. And then there’s a more recent book that was published 4,000 weeks. It’s the same thing, right? It’s like, what are we spending our life energy on? And to your point, how can we come back to the wisdom that already exists?

Mm-hmm right. Because I feel like when you’re tapping into that, Having not having done that exercise in particular, but my sense is you’re tapping in, it might not just be your elder self. It might actually be the universe that is channeling through you and sort of like what is the right way to walk through this situation?

This life. how are you making decisions? How are you being to your point rather than how are you doing? Yeah. And what he did at the end of that meditation, he asked us to, you know, maybe think about a particular situation that we’re facing or think about you know, in our [00:22:00] relationships, what would our elder wiser self say right now?

What’s important right now. What’s not important right now that I’m focused on mm-hmm mm-hmm what’s not really important right now. Yeah. You know, he coaches big CEOs from big companies and sometimes they’re like, well, I’m busy, I’ve got this big problem. Okay. How can that problem at work? Because he was talking about self-actualization we all wanna improve.

We all wanna become the best person we can be. So how can this problem or this challenge at work? be a gift or an opportunity in terms of helping you self actualize. Mm-hmm, helping you becoming a better person. Mm-hmm while you’re, you know, kind of solving that problem. So think about both things, just solving the problem.

And then also, how, how are you becoming better? How is this a gift for you? And then at the end of the meditation too, he. now integrate, imagine integrating yourself with that elder wise self, because you’re still that, [00:23:00] that elder wise self is in you. Mm-hmm, just like that child you is in you mm-hmm so I thought that was pretty cool.

It is very cool. So tell us about your coaching and you know, who are the who’s your target audience and the clients that you help? Sure. So my target audience. I focus primarily on leaders, directors to C-suite in smaller mid-sized firms 50 to 2000 employees approximately. And I do that just because they’re the ones who are usually large enough to be seeking outside support for coaching and not so big that they have inside programming that they’ve develop.

But I’m really particularly interested, especially because of my experience and those who want to consciously shape their, their, the second half of their life, the rest of their career. They’re really at a, at a pivot point in their career. They’re saying, okay, I’ve achieved a certain amount, but something is missing.

There’s a yearning that I’m feeling. There’s a longing that [00:24:00] keeps coming up. And when I pause long enough and I can feel it. And so those who are really interested in, in being guided on that journey of self discovery, code discovery, perhaps re-discovery and just sort of saying, so what’s next for me? How am I supporting myself?

How am I supporting those around me? What’s the legacy I want to leave. That’s awesome. that’s awesome. So this is your web website mm-hmm and then you’ve got a blog. What, what kinds of things do you blog about? So I’m blogging about some of the, some of the things are, are more personal, certainly about my own experience, but it’s really talking about the different aspects of leadership and going into more depths.

Than most blogs I feel do with regards to the different aspects of leadership. My coaching training is one, I’m an integral coach. So from new ventures [00:25:00] west, there are any new venture west folks out there, here in San Francisco. It’s the home of integral coaching that takes the whole person in their entire social context into consideration.

So it’s a developmental approach in really helping somebody deep. On their, their developmental journey after age 26, it’s no longer biologically determined. So it’s a question of choice that self actualization that Prade was talking about. Yeah. And so for those who are choosing to go down that path and I am so I, I received my certification from them and I am currently pursuing another coaching certification in part, because of my experience healing from the accident.

With Theros Institute and somatic coaching. And so it’s really working through the body. We are what we practice, how we talk, how we sit, how we speak, how we stand, how we hold tension. And that [00:26:00] influences how we are perceived, how others perceive us. Oh yeah, for sure. So somatic coaching mm-hmm . wow. I hadn’t heard of that.

Yes. And it’s, it’s you know, we learn through the body. So thinking of walking, talking, reading, writing, driving, just name a few, right? Those are all learned through the body and yes, you can talk about something, but when you experience it, it’s a completely different sensation to be able to say.

right. This is what that feels like. And, and it’s a whole, by the experience, it’s not like, oh, I know that when the sun rises, the sky turns pink, right? Yeah. It’s like, that’s what it feels like when the sky turns pink. Yeah. So Christine has a question. Mm-hmm have you seen a while aha moment for a person in leadership that you coach that has energized you?

What a great question, Christine. yes, [00:27:00] I am fortunate that there have been many of those moments. One was I’ll just share two quickly. Here was one was, was with one of my earlier clients and it just really stood out for me because his excitement, but he was moving up from I guess, sort of junior junior executive to, into an more executive role.

And. He was trying to be that little kid. He’s like, oh, see me. See me. I’m here in the room. See me. And I said, what if you didn’t do that, you were just to ask questions, to bring people back to the core of what the conversation is supposed to be about. And so he started doing that, that changed his relationship with everybody in the room.

And he was seen as a more mature leader, just because of the change in his, how he showed. And he was so excited and it just also made his life so much easier because he didn’t have to work so hard. Yeah. [00:28:00] And , it’s just like, he just showed up as himself and he asked questions that were percolating and he didn’t feel like he needed to be leaning forward, raising his hand all the time.

Another one was just recognizing this, this client I had more recently was him recognizing. That he was living somebody else’s life and that he had choice to choose. You know, he had the choice to, am I following this path or am I cultivating one that is authentic to me? And the way I wanna live the way I wanna raise my boys, the way I wanna, the relationship I want to have with my wife, I love that.

It’s so awesome. As a coach, when. Can that’s what we wanna do. Right. Help people. And when you help people and you see them taking action, cause you can’t do it for them, the client has to take that action. Right? Mm-hmm yep. You can inspire them. You can encourage them. You can ask quest empowering questions that have them [00:29:00] see different aspect of themselves or their situation.

And The client actually has to, to do it. So mm-hmm, absolutely. The client goes to work. I’m just holding the space. Yeah. And so Tony says I’ve known Thomas for over 20 years. He’s always been a CCO and I know what she means. Chief calming officer . Thank you, Tony.

Greg Olson says. Interesting. So our Al interesting. So our ALS veterans and DAV heroes, I’m not sure how that what that comment was in respect to, with what you were saying, but Shannon says. Hi, Shannon. Welcome. I’m glad you’re here. Shannon NEPs. She’s a regular coming here watching us. watching the show and inter interacting in the comments.

So if you ha, if you guys have any questions for Thomas, let us know. So in Thomas, what you submitted to me, you said you, you rediscovered the forgotten wisdom of [00:30:00] your heart and your body. Mm-hmm mm-hmm . What do you mean by that after your accident? After my accident? Sure. So with, especially with the traumatic brain injury, my brain was forcibly.

My cognition was forcibly quieted, and I was forced to seek out resources that are innate to all of us, but that I had disregarded for, or just forgotten about mm-hmm and discovering how much was there, how much richness, how much? Opportunity there was to sense him to what was going on around me and what was right for me. Or like what was right in the moment, how to make a decision, you know, neuroscience has shown us that our bodies ares or are RESO sorry. Are scanning the environment around us for threat or safety multiple times a.

And yet we forget about that. It’s like, [00:31:00] oh, how many times? A second. Multiple times. Wow. Okay. So just thinking about that, it’s like, you know, you’re, you’re talking with somebody, all of a sudden, you get you like, oh, I felt a strange vibe, all of a sudden, halfway through the conversation. Well, that was your neuroception going something’s off here.

And, or you walk into a room and you’re like, I could cut the tension with. Mm-hmm right. That’s a threat. And it’s just like, what do you do? And that puts you into a certain state. And so if you know what’s going on for you and you can say, oh, so what’s going on here right now for me. And how can I find my resources?

How can I come back to center is we’re taught in somatic coaching. How can I come back to center so that I have all of the resources available to me to make the most appropriate decision? I like that because sometimes we think that all the resources available to us is what’s outside of us. Right? Yeah.

Let me go read a book, let me go talk to somebody, let me do this or that. And a lot of the [00:32:00] resources are inside us and we don’t always use them. Mm-hmm yeah, absolutely. You know, and that’s, that’s the other thing too, is we’re in this society we’re trained to grow up and we stay here in the head. Right.

Mm-hmm so we forget what’s going on beneath us and, and certainly for men. I feel like there is additional challenge because there’s that male archetype you’re not supposed to feel unless it’s like anger. You’re not supposed to, you know it. So there’s like, how do you, how are you able to touch into more of that?

So you can feel more of what’s passing through you all of the time and then choose to channel it in the most appropriate, direct. Yeah. And I, and I, for, for me and I, and I say this I’m not like embarrassed or not thinking, well, people must think you’re crazy, Emily, cuz I know there’s other women out there and probably men too, that feel what I felt is like, I was always so busy that, and I, and I know now that I stayed busy to not feel [00:33:00] those feelings, I would notice them, but then I’d push ’em aside and keep going.

Right. Yep. And one of my past guests said. When you shove your feelings to the basement, they lift weights.

absolutely. And it’s true. They did. I mean, cuz like all the feelings from when I got a divorce from my kid’s dad and, and stuff like that, they, everything started coming back when he was sick and when he passed away and I, I just had to process all of the stuff that I had never even processed mm-hmm and I think that it can make you sick.

It can make you sick in your, you, you can make. You feel aches and pains. It kind of just like stuck energy that just stays in us. And it’s really key to notice that and to feel it and to acknowledge it and to let it go. Absolutely. Absolutely. It is. Yeah. I, I think that’s also the definition of trauma, right?

The stuck energy. Yeah. Yeah. [00:34:00] So, if you can allow everything to flow through you in the moment right. And feel whatever it happens to be. That’s the other thing too, is the, the distinction between I am angry. So you’re identifying with it rather I’m feeling angry. Right? Are you allowing that wave, you know, think about it as, as emotional surfing, right?

If right. You know, let the wave move through you, but if you wouldn’t carry you to the beach, it’s gonna. And you went. Yeah. Yeah. And I, and, and when I retired, I knew that I wanted to feel my feelings again. I couldn’t even really name ’em and I, and I know bene Brown’s had this one guy, I don’t remember his name on her show where it’s called.

He wrote a book called permission to feel, and he lays out all these. Emotions, cuz I could have told you happy, sad, you know, glad you know. So I would work with a coach and she’d ask, well, what do you feel about that? I’m like, I don’t know. I know what I think, but I don’t know what I feel. Hmm. And it’s so important to be able to [00:35:00] name your feelings, not just your thoughts, but name your feelings and actually.

Feel them and acknowledge them. Mm-hmm and then take a deep breath and let them, and let them go. And sometimes it takes more than just a deep breath. Sometimes it takes a lot of feeling your feelings. Yeah. And, you know, just as a real life example, I, I I gave this on the show just so listeners can like, well, what does that mean?

It means like one day night, my dad said something and that I live near them and he said something that triggered me and I got really frustrated by it and on the way home I wanted to. And so what I do when I get frustrated, it’s knowing how you react in situations and then choosing how you want would rather respond and respond that way.

But I. This was a big stressor for me. So I didn’t react the way I would’ve wanted to. When I react, I just kind of withdraw. I don’t go into conflict, but I just withdraw. And I’m just like, you know, don’t say anything. And so on the way home [00:36:00] and I, and I don’t drink a lot, but on the way home, I wanted to stop the grocery store and get wine.

I didn’t I kept going, but then I wanted to watch TV, right? So these are all ways of numbing and not feeling the feelings. Mm. So I sat there, felt the feelings. What am I thinking? What am I feeling? How does it feel journaled? And it was hard. Then I was able to kind of understand myself better and to reconcile things and, and accept.

Some things a, about my dad and to understand why, what he said triggered me, what, instead of blaming my dad, you know, you said that and it hurt me. Look at myself. Why did I get triggered by that? What does it say about me? Mm-hmm what am I still holding onto and not letting go. That’s just like a real life example.

And maybe you have another one that you wanna share too, Thomas. Well, absolutely. I mean, there’s. the fascinating thing with the, with Thero work, certainly over the last nine [00:37:00] months is just it’s opened up a lot of insights you know, but for me it was one of the big ones recently was just recognizing how there was something that I had been holding anger towards my father for, since I was.

Right. And I didn’t know that it was still in my body and it’s like, oh, this is what has been shaping our our relationship for the last 43 years. And, wow. Right. You know, so it’s, it’s, it’s just, I had no idea that I was still holding onto that and to at least acknowledge it and say, oh, so this. This is how it shaped me.

This is how I’ve shown up because of it. And in so many different situations, whether it was, you know, it just is really fascinat. Like, oh, whether that’s even with [00:38:00] clients now or with friends or all throughout my life, it’s this is, this is amazing. I had no idea that this is why I was showing up that way and why this was even annoying for other people sometimes knowing that’s interesting where it comes from.

You know, cuz we, we look at the world through these lenses, these glasses, you know, I could put on these glasses, these glasses have lens of all my past experiences. My, what I was taught when I was growing up everything. That’s how we look through the world. Mm-hmm you were still looking through the world.

With a tint on there from something that happened when you were 10. Yeah. That you didn’t even realize exactly. Yeah. You got used. I got used to the tint. yeah. You got used to the tint and looked fine with you. You know, mm-hmm didn’t know that there could be a different tent, right? Exactly. Yeah. Greg, I’m sorry to hear that.

He said his dad got diagnosed with ALS at 57. It changed his life. I bet you, it did. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm . I’m sorry to hear that, Greg. [00:39:00] That’s a tough ALS is no fun. Mm-hmm it’s really challenging. I’m sure it was challenging on you too, Greg. Christine says, let’s see. Oh wait, where does she say? That’s scary.

Emily, when you push her emotions to the basement, they lift weights. Yeah, it is really true. So Christine says so true. Thomas, these long head health feelings shape us and how we look at our world ourself and our others. And a lot of ’em it’s unconscious, it’s in our subconscious. We don’t even know.

Yeah. One of my teachers says that we are usually trying to solve a problem that we started trying to solve as. well, the thing, the, I mean, the thing with my dad, I love my dad. He was, you know, I was a good basketball player and I was also like had the pleaser attitude and I was [00:40:00] always trying to please him and do better and score better.

And you know, and after a game, he’d say, good game. Now you remember that time when you went right. You could have gone left. So I kind of developed a pleaser. Mentality. And I’m always trying to please him. I’m 59 and I still sometimes try to please him. Mm-hmm so I, it was a situation where he didn’t react how I couldn’t even, I, that doesn’t even impress you whatever I had said.

Mm-hmm . And so that’s what made me look at myself. Why am I still trying to please him? Yeah. It that, you know, and in many ways I’m, I’m not, but in that way I was, so, yeah, mm-hmm, . Greg says it was actually good. Well, I’d love to hear more about that, Greg, when we have, if we have a chance to chat at some point.

Okay. So what is it you work with? So the company hires you or the individuals hire you both. It really depends. You know, sometimes execs aren’t [00:41:00] going to get that support for within the company mm-hmm or they don’t want the company to know about it. Other times the company, you know, hires me or, or, and says, I’ve got two folks who are direct reports who are struggling as leaders.

You know, I worked with a couple of directors in a biotech firm and it was their, their SVP that, that it, that hired me to work with them because he saw them struggling to make that shift from. really superb scientist to effective leader of a team. Yeah. Course it’s a completely different skill set, but yeah, you know, that’s a big shift.

It is a big shift. And so helping them work through that and, and recognizing what, what were the narratives that they were trying to. so that was really helpful. Yeah. I mean, you know, when I worked, I didn’t get a coach until I worked [00:42:00] for the Navy as a senior executive. So at the very end of my career is when they’re like, oh, do you want to coach?

And that’s when they usually, you know, get coaches for people and they there’s a lot of mentoring, but mentoring is not the same as coaching mentoring, like. You know, how did you get to that job? I wanna get to that job. And someone tells you kind of how, but coaching is not telling you how to do anything.

It’s, you know, empowering you to find the answer within yourself. And I commend those companies for investing in a coach because that’s really, that’s really awesome. Not everyone does. So Christine’s asking, could you give more examples of somatic therapy or, or coaching that you use with your client?

Sure. So it is coaching, not therapy. I’m not a, a licensed clinical specialist, either social worker or therapist, but this, but

rather than talking about. , you know, for example, Emily was talking about feeling fully her emotions, just [00:43:00] a few moments ago. And so what we could do is we could just go back to an example like that for you, Christine, and just sort say, okay, so what is it like to feel into that right now? If you just bring yourself back to that particular moment.

How did you respond? And what is that? What is that shape? That physical shape, that physical manifestation of that emotional shape, you know, were you feeling really tight and, and, and hunched over and afraid or, you know, were you trying to be angry and, you know, but also noticing is just sort of saying, okay, so where is the tension?

What, what is that cut off for? And really becoming aware of, oh, you know, because we often in somatic coaching, we talk a lot about, at least in Astros methodology, your length, which is your dignity, your width, which is your line of connection to yourself and the rest of the world and your depth, which is your way of history, your ancestral your ancestors and those who [00:44:00] came before you, your teachers, your mentors, and becoming really aware of where you.

what are you cutting off? What are you short circuiting in? Or, you know, as habitually. And that way you can start to say, oh, so this is how I tend to respond under pressure mm-hmm . And that doesn’t really serve who I’m trying to be in this world. Don’t I hope that answers your question, Christine. That’s a good answer.

I mean, you know, how many times do we. Plan out with, with companies, do strategic planning and set goals and plan and think, you know, lay out the values of the company and the mission statement. And we don’t really do that stuff for ourselves. Like who, who do I wanna be? What’s you know, how do I wanna show up besides just accomplishing tasks or a big goal?

How do I wanna be while I’m doing that? You know, mm-hmm, you go into a, a meet, you [00:45:00] know, I know I used to go from one meeting to another to another, and I didn’t really think, like take some time to center. How do I wanna show up in this meeting? Right. I was more thinking like, what do I wanna get done from this meeting?

mm-hmm and not as much as how do I wanna show up. Right. And so yeah. What does it mean to, you know, this show is about create a life you love living now what’s a life you love living. What does that mean for you? Thomas mm-hmm

so for me it would

be, cause it’s still something that I’m, that’s evolving mm-hmm and, and becoming, but it’s. Doing something that makes me passionate of, you know, about helping others and that I really enjoy supporting others’ journeys. It’s about rich relationships with friends, family nature. It’s about [00:46:00] having experiences that I can share.

You know, whether that’s with friends, family you know, travel just. Experiencing others and really tasting life that could be going to a museum exhibit that could be going to a concert that could be going for a hike with friends or a picnic, or like whatever it happens to be, but just really tasting those things that, that connect us as humans.

and, and taking the time to pause and really revel in that connection. In that context, I love that. It sounds like too, you’re saying enjoy every minute, like be in the present moment. Mm-hmm, through all that you’re living through a lot of times, you know, one of the, I gave a webinar last night on energy leadership.

And one of the things I was talking about, or you know, about our energy levels and the, you, you can feel [00:47:00] like joy. Just during your normal day, you don’t need to go on a vacation. Mm-hmm to feel that joy mm-hmm like sometimes I go walking my dog and I just get overwhelmed with joy. And I think it’s because I’m more in tune with my feelings, my emotions, and I’m living I’m, I’m spending my time doing something I really love.

And I’ve really. I feel like I’ve grown a lot on the inside and that just brings me joy. And so many times we. To the outside, like, well, I get a new car, a new pair of shoes or this or that, or go on a vacation. You can, I didn’t really know that. Cuz I used to like go camping to feel, you know, to just relax and get away.

And I had a coach tell me, you can find that, that joy and that relaxation in your every day just sitting in your condo or whatever. And I didn’t really [00:48:00] believe it until I. Discovered it and learned it for myself from that inner work. Yeah. And that sounds like that’s what you’re describing. Mm-hmm, how you like to live.

Yeah, indeed. And not to say that there isn’t gonna be conflict or there isn’t gonna be, you know, moments of frustration, but to your point, it’s about feeling it all and being present to that so that you feel you’re showing up with, you know, and, and responding in a way that is most appropriate. awesome.

Even if you’re triggered. Yeah. Well, how do people work with you? Do they go to your website? Let me find your yes. If they can go to my website take a [email protected]. There are a couple of there’s ways to schedule, to get onto my calendar and just click one of the buttons. And that’s probably the best way.

Or you can also just reach out via email Thomas regenerate dot. Thomas F regenerate, sorry. Re Thomas [00:49:00] regenerate.coach. Okay. All right, there you go. And or connect with Thomas on LinkedIn? Yes, indeed. Awesome. Are you on there often on LinkedIn? You check in? Yes. At, can’t say daily, but you know, several times a week.

Okay, awesome. And, and then check out Thomas’s blog. There’s the website there. And I’ll put that in the show notes. When I put all these links in the show notes for people who are gonna listen to this later, or listen and listen to it on as a regular podcast, what I’m doing is putting them up on the screen, cuz we’re live right now, but you’ll see it in the show notes, you’ll see links and be able to reach Thomas.

So any last words of wisdom, Thomas, for us, any last words of wisdom? Wow. That’s or anything that you wanna share? No, I just thank you very much for having me on, it’s been a pleasure being in conversation with you, and I’m really glad that OWA introduced us. And I hope listeners and Watchers have I found this fruitful and, and insightful.

Yeah. So thank [00:50:00] you. Yeah. Thank you so much for being on the show. I really appreciate it. I’ve really enjoyed our interview. 

Thank you, everybody who commented and participated in this live stream. I really appreciate you. It’s always nice to have people engaging in the chat. See, I see another chat here. Christine says. Physical manifestation of that emotional shape and so much more somatic coaching from Thomas Rosenberg, chief calming officer

Yes. Thank you, Christine. I appreciate you. So thank you everybody for being here now. I am actually. Doing something that I encourage others to do. I’m taking a little break next week. I’ll be on a, a short trip kind of work related. And then the week after that, I’m gonna be spending a week with my grandson and my son and his wife.

And we’re gonna go to my son’s dad’s. Brother’s house and just chill HES on the, on the Eastern, on the west, on the Eastern shore of Virginia. So [00:51:00] on the water, we’re gonna do some fishing and just hang out. And, and then the week after that, I’m going to Portland, Oregon for the world domination summit. I’ve talked to the about that event on the show before.

That’s kind of, that’s the event I first went to in 2014 that. Introduced me to coaching and a whole different way of, of being and living. That made me think I wanna kind of do something different. And I, and I did, when I retired, I, I didn’t do what people tell me. I should do like be a. A government contracting consultant.

I became a, a coach and a podcast host, and then that’s kind of how I learned about coaching and podcasting when I went to that world domination summit. So what I’m gonna do is just replay some interviews from that I’ve done in the past the next few weeks. So if you wanna come and check out my Facebook and At LinkedIn at seven 30 on Wednesdays, you will see a replay of a show.

But other than that, yes. Hi Grae. Yes. I will be out of town and enjoying life. Yeah. And I’m gonna do it again in July, cuz I’m gonna [00:52:00] take my grandson to Denver and see my daughter. We’re gonna go look for dinosaurs at dinosaur Ridge. So, you know, I, I love everything that I’m doing and I Al am also making time for.

Friends and family, and I’ve never taken a week off actually. So no, I did I think over Christmas, but I’m starting to do that more and it’s awesome. And I know you guys won’t forget about the show. You’ll still support the show. So Thank you all again, for watching. If you wanna learn a little bit more about me and the coaching that I offer, you can go to my website, which is Emily harmon.com.

And another thing that I do is I lead the onward movement, which is a Facebook group Facebook community, which is all about creating a life you love living. Now, and one of the things that I’ll be away for is on June 10th in Maryland, we’re doing a little hike. So I call the people in that group on onboarders and so on onboarders that are in the Maryland, Northern Virginia, DC area.

And anybody else who wants [00:53:00] to go, if you don’t know about it, reach out to me and meet us at Calvert cliffs on June the 10th, we were gonna do some hiking and look for shark’s teeth. You know, it’s kind of. That it’s right at the Chesapeake bay and sharks used to roam that bay. And you can find shark’s teeth that are millions of years old.

If you look really hard. So thank you all for watching. I appreciate you. And we’ll be back again next week. Not live, but a replay we’ll be playing next week. Have a great week, everybody. Onward live is sponsored by Emily Harmon, coaching and consulting. Visit my website, Emily harmon.com to learn more about me and my coaching programs.

I’d love to help you create a life you love living. Remember every adversity is our own personal university.

Sometimes the lessons are difficult. And we must learn from our experiences. Vulnerability [00:54:00] is your superpower. You are lovable and worthy, and we discuss these topics and more because professional is personal. Thank you for joining us in engaging with me and my guest. I look.